My son has learned to shriek. He half enjoys to hear his own voice, and the other half is a result of pure impatience. When he is ready to eat, he shrieks. Even if I am 2 feet away preparing a bottle.

Calm down buddy, Mommy’s coming! 

What I am really thinking is Logan, have I ever not fed you when you needed to be fed? Have you ever gone hungry? I am doing the best I can to meet your needs whenever you have them! Nothing makes me happier than when you are happy and content. I know you like warm milk. It takes a minute for Mom to warm it. I don’t want you to have to settle for cold milk. Be patient. Your bottle is coming.

And to add to the shrieking, both of my kiddos are teething, which is *so fun*. (NOT!). I feel just awful to see them in pain, gnawing away at anything they can get in their mouth, frustrated that it’s not bringing them satisfaction. We try cold teethers, soft teethers, round, straight, and rigid teethers. Nothing seems to work. We have had to resort to Tylenol a time or two and I am just begging for those teeth to break through, to give them some relief. They don’t know why they are in pain right now, they have no idea that these teeth will be wonderful when they come in. For now, they just feel pointless pain.

As a parent now, I feel like I see God in a different way. Each and every day, I do everything I can to meet the needs of my children. And not only do I want to do everything to meet their needs, I want to do everything to meet their wants, because there’s nothing that makes me happier than when they are content and happy and peaceful. I want the best for them. Cold milk doesn’t cut it. Sometimes I can’t provide what they want – like total relief from teething pain – because I can’t speed up time or results, so I just have to do my best to help them, and provide them as many snuggles as I can, hoping my presence brings comfort. When Logan is shrieking for a warm bottle, it’s hard to reassurance him that it will be okay, that Mommy needs one more minute to warm it, to just trust me, that this is for his best….because they don’t quite understand my language yet.

Here’s the thing – I TRY to provide for them best I can. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

BUT GOD … God ALWAYS provides for His children and meets our needs and wants because He sees the big picture. He desires to make us happy, to “snuggle us” when we are crying, but sometimes teething, or bottle warming, gets in the way. And we don’t always understand His reassurance that He is still there, trying to hush us and remind us that it’ll be over soon, that we will be far happier with the results if we are just patient.

Sometimes our cries distract us so much that we don’t hear His voice soothing us…”Dear child, you’re almost done … its okay … shhh shhh your Father loves you. Your teeth will be in soon. Your bottle is almost warm. Stop shrieking, look into my eyes and know I want the best for you. Please be patient.” We become so distracted listening to our own voice, asking “why why why!”, that we forget that He is with us and wants the best for us.

And while I am only human and can only at best, provide teething toys and tylenol for my kids, God FULLY provides all we need – over and beyond what we could ever ask for, even when it doesn’t seem like it.

He is our Father, our Provider, and can truly be trusted because His love for us is far greater than anything we can comprehend. We can forget He is our parent, and just as we love our children or our pets or our spouse or siblings with all our heart, our knowledge of love barely touches the surface of how He feels for us. We don’t always understand His language, just as my babies don’t understand mine yet. And since we have that language barrier, I keep developing a relationship with them so even when they don’t understand what I am saying, they will trust me, trust that I want what’s best for them, trust that I love them and don’t want to see them suffer pointlessly. The same goes for God.

Have you ever thought “Why is He making me go through this?! Doesn’t He care for me? Why am I hurting so badly? When will relief come? I want _____ and I want it NOW!” 

Isaiah 55:8-9 says “My thoughts,” says the Lord, “are not like yours, and my ways are different from yours.  As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways and thoughts above yours.” 

As our parent, God sees much more than we see. He knows more than we know and we simply have to lean into the trust we have in Him, built on the relationship we have developed with Him, to rely on His presence during hard times. He brings us through the hard times, not without purpose. Sometimes it takes so much longer than we wish, I know. The length of time it takes is not reflective of His love for you. He sees that you’re hurting and He wants you to find comfort in His presence while you wait. He hasn’t left your side.

Hang in there friends. God loves you far more than anything we can understand. Cling to Him, He has never left your side.

XO,

Chelsea

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PS – Here are the top 3 teething toys we have tried, and the kiddos seem to find the most comfort from them. If you are looking for some relief for your kids too, they may be worth a try! (The Manhattan one is our FAVORITE. Perfect for little hands! They go everywhere with us.)

Manhattan Toy Winkel Rattle and Sensory Teether Toy

Nuby Silicone Teethe-eez Teether with Bristles, Includes Hygienic Case, Aqua

Sassy Terry Teethers, 2 Count

PPS – Above links are affiliate links … and links I would totally recommend with or without affiliate links! :) If you choose to purchase any items, just think of it as a way to help me keep up with payment for the blog domain and the annual fees it takes to do so. :)

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Wow! We are beyond humbled by your support and love following our KARE 11 piece. It was an honor to be asked and a blessing to be able to share our story. I’m moved to tears reading many of your words as you share it on social media and am grateful to be a part of your lives. (If you are a new reader, check out my PS for a special note for you!)

From the beginning, we felt called to share our story, even before we knew what the ending looked like. Story sharing is vulnerable. You’ve been through it all with us! The ups, the downs, the miscarriages, the cycles, and finally the births of our babies. As I watched the story play out, this verse came to mind: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position…” (Genesis 50:20a)

But God!

Trials are hard. They are painful. They create unimaginable aching and questions.

But God.

He takes what was meant to break us, and He crafts it into good. He doesn’t abandon us. He sticks with us through it all. He walks WITH us, not ahead or behind. He waits WITH us.

And if we let Him, He uses us. I assure you, there’s nothing extra special about me than there is from you. I’m grateful for the chances I’ve had to connect the women in the infertility community with one another, they are all truly amazing, compassionate, caring WARRIORS. It never was about me – it simply was about doing what I felt like God wanted us to do: remind people they are not alone, that there’s always hope, and to never give up believing He is capable of miracles.

So, as you watch and share, be reminded that nothing in your life is in vain. Stay an active participant in your life. Be open to how God may intend your sufferings for good. There is always hope! Commit to that hope. Commit to trusting the One who writes our stories, beginning to end. And know that ordinary people are used every day.

We are blessed. 😊

Ps – Kirsten’s giggle at the end melts me.

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PS – If you stumbled here today, a new reader struggling with infertility, I pray our story gives you hope. I understand how painful it is to get baby shower invitations. I understand that with Halloween coming up, you dread opening social media and seeing everyone’s smiling children, when all you want to do is dress up your own. I ache understanding the pain you feel as you see another negative pregnancy test, get another phone call about a friend who is expecting, and pass the baby section at Target. I get it. You are not alone in your feelings of loneliness, exhaustion, frustration, and sorrow. Please don’t give up. Keep your chin up. God is with you, even if you don’t feel like He is today. Silence does not equal absence. Hop onto Instagram and shoot me a message that you need a little prayer today to keep your hope up. Your infertility doesn’t define you. You are not broken, even though some days it feels that way. You did nothing to “deserve” this. You simply have a higher mountain to climb than some others, but let me tell you, personally, the view from the top is extraordinary. You CAN beat infertility. It may take more time than you expect. Find a great doctor to work with (check out FertilityIQ.com to find the best RE in your area!) and don’t stop praying, even when you feel like you are getting no where. Every prayer is heard, every tear is collected, and your harvest will be heart-healing and soul-filling. I am standing with you, new friend, you’ve got this. xoxoxo

PPS –  I know many of you already know this, but I wanted to share that I co-authored a women’s 6-week devotional called In the Wait during my own 10-year journey through infertility. It’s not a devotional based solely on infertility, but instead, a devotional that weaves waiting in with women who want to build a strong relationship with the Lord. Maybe you find yourself worried or anxious, feeling overwhelmed wherever you are today – in the thick of infertility, pregnant, or living life as a busy mom. It’s for YOU, someone who dreams of claiming victory and living a joy-filled life no matter what your circumstances are. You can read more about it on my blog here, or check out some of the reviews on Amazon! If you have any questions, check us out at @IntheWaitstudy or #inthewaitstudy on Instagram. You can order a copy on Amazon here!!!