24 weeks.

Happy Wednesday friends!

I share this little update on Instagram the other day and thought it would be helpful to share it here too:

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Hey y’all! Chelsea here! Okay, so real talk: you guys all know my story… 9+ years of infertility, 3 miscarriages, a PCOS diagnosis, Factor V Leiden, tons of medicated cycles and IUI’s and 5 IVF cycles. And then you see me above, and you know that we are expecting boy / girl twins this May, a true miracle and something we are so thankful for!


So here’s the thing … I’ve been a bit convicted lately that I’ve allowed the whole “infertility” thing to mask this true pregnancy joy out of sensitivity to so many of you who are still waiting. And while I absolutely still want to remain sensitive and loving, I feel sad knowing you could easily glance at my feed and not even realize I am pregnant with two miracles, when for the last 5 years, so much of my feed was about infertility. And while I want to shout my love for these little ones from the mountains and celebrate every baby step, I tend to hold back and I think in doing so, it’s holds my story back a bit … tucking away the glory that God deserves to be getting every week we check off the list.


So here’s my resolution – I want to do a little better at balancing it all out. Celebrating this miracle, remaining sensitive to those still waiting for theirs, sharing my every day life and cute pup, and giving encouragement whenever and wherever I can. This pregnancy doesn’t define me, just as infertility didn’t define me! As a daughter of Christ, that’s the only title I really bear.
That said, I probably will be posting a *few* more celebratory baby pics, so if that gets too hard for you, I GET IT! You are under no obligation to follow me just because you’ve been a part of our story thus far. However, I care about each of you so dearly, read all your comments multiple times, and savor the relationships we’ve formed. Thank you for inviting me into your stories and lives!
All that said, here’s me and babies at 23+2 days pregnant. I have an aversion to eggs and pizza sauce and am savoring and treasuring every single stinking moment of this blessing, because it’s not taken for granted and I’ve waited far too long for these stretch marks and sleepless nights! Thank you for loving me so well.

I wanted to share here as well because I do want to start incorporating a little more “baby stuff” here, only because I have very little paper trail of this miracle! I hope to share pregnancy updates every 2-3 weeks, especially as we creep closer to our due date. I COMPLETELY understand if you need to take a massive time out from the blog!

But, with that said, we are now 98 days from our babies-will-come-no-later-than-this-no-matter-what due date! 98 DAYS! Considering I have been pregnant for 169 days, this seems like a tiny number! YAHOO!

How far along? 24 weeks – also known as “viability week”, meaning even though a baby born at this point would still require a lot of intervention, a baby is considered viable to survive outside of the womb. Every day here on out is a wonderful bonus!

Gender: Boy / Girl

Weight Gain? 7-8 pounds

Maternity Clothes?  Basically only now. I am starting to struggle to find tops that are long enough to cover my chest, longer torso, and bump! Eeeeek! But seriously, slip on pants are wonderful.

Stretch Marks? A couple new ones higher up – not that I am complaining! Stretch marks = BABIES!

Belly button in or out?  Stretching out but still in.

Sleep:  I typically have one rougher night a week, but have been getting a good 7-8 hours a night with about 2 bathroom breaks. I have been told this is a sweet spot of sleep in a pregnancy and I am savoring it! I took my first heavy, solid, felt-like-I-was-drugged nap this past Monday and don’t think I will be doing that again. I was so groggy all day!

Best moment this week: We had a great doctor’s appointment at our high-risk clinic last Friday and got to spend nearly two hours looking at our babes in detail. Baby boy was described as “slightly chaotic” (he is always moving!) and baby girl was said to be “calm”. I am feeling baby boy almost hourly, and little girl moves less often but usually more dramatically. I LOVE that I am feeling them more regularly.

Symptoms:  Back pain. Don’t take this as complaining! I am grateful to be couch-bound if needed. Some days are better than others, but my muscular skeletal frame is struggling a bit to the point of debilitating pain. But you know what, massages, heating pads, Tylenol and laying down helps, so on bad days, that’s what I’ll do! Otherwise no symptoms and I am so grateful!

Miss Anything?  Nothing comes to mind!

Cravings?  No specific cravings. Although my mom’s homemade French fries sound good right about now … J

Food aversions? Eggs and pizza sauce. No changes there!

Queasy or sick?  Nope!

Looking forward to?  Josh being able to feel the babies moving from the outside. We are allegedly getting closer to that being able to happen. I think he is going to get a kick out of it. Ohhh and our first baby shower is on Sunday the 5th and I am so excited! I am unsure if I will be completely dazed the whole time, or a hot crying mess. Either way, it will be incredibly surreal! God is good!

Prayer Requests? Nothing major! 1) Baby girl has a placenta that is connected to the membrane, meaning she is growing a little smaller rate than her brother. It’s nothing concerning (yet) and she’s in the 15th percentile and a few days behind. They are monitoring her closely to make sure the gap doesn’t increase and that she continues to still get the nourishments she needs. We were told this happens in about 1-3% of pregnancies, but of those pregnancies, most of the time it is a non-issue. We are pray that’s the case! And 2) for comfort for my back pain. I have had to pull over on the side of the road at times when it hits quickly and painfully, and it’s a helpless feeling.

Nursery Update: AH! The room has been painted, the cribs and dresser are set up and in there and Josh is finishing up the final pieces! Mama still have a lot of decorating to do, but we are making significant progress! YAHOOOOO! I will share pictures at the very end when it’s all done.

That’s all! Have a great rest of your week!

in the wait 2017.

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Did you know twice a year we offer an online Bible study community to journey through In the Wait together with women all over the world? And spots are open for our Spring 2017 group! In fact, the group is kicking off THIS SUNDAY, February 26th! Whoohooo!

The purpose of this group is to build community, help create accountability, encourage you right where you’re at today, and provide you with a safe place to process through what God is teaching you. All women, in all different seasons of waiting, of all ages, who have the book, are invited to join! And the timing of this study is perfect. It will usher in some daily quiet time prior to advent and what always becomes a busy holiday season. I truly believe God is going to move and stir in your heart as you continue to press forward into His.

If this is the first time you’re reading about the In the Wait devotional, check out this page on my blog to learn more, check out study details here, or look us up on Amazon. Between these three spots, you’ll a great idea of what this study is all about!

Our goal for this study is to show that we can take these seasons of waiting – exciting, easy, hard and painful ones – and grow closer to God in them. It is possible to live life FULLY while being in an unknown season.

There’s some awesome features to this online study, including:

– Each week will be author-led, full of videos and unique engagement on the stories and words shared that week;
– Tons of NEW downloads, lock screens, prints, resources and SNAIL MAIL;
– A members directory will be available immediately, giving you the chance to connect with people in a similar season and build on the friendships that begin;
– New daily questions, polls, community-building interactions and a solid, strong prayer group;
– And that’s just to name a few!

Membership is $5 (less than $1 a week!) and will give us the chance to provide you lots of extras.

***To purchase access to the online small group and learn more, click here: http://www.hollyholtdesign.com/shop/online-bible-study-access***

Our purpose for this online small group is threefold:
1) to build a safe community with others who are also in a season of waiting;
2) to create accountability to have daily quiet time; and
3) to encourage each of us, right where we are, to process what God is teaching us all.

So maybe you have a friend that comes to mind that may want to join you … INVITE THEM! Or maybe you’d love to help act as God’s hands + feet and share a little about your journey with ‘In the Wait’ on social media … we’d adore that! Tag us on Instagram at @IntheWaitStudy and #IntheWaitStudy!!

Can’t wait to see what God has in store for this next group of women!

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the power of a song.

Click here for the full lyrics 

We sung this song at church a few weeks ago and the lyrics were still as powerful as the time I first heard it. Yet, it was so interesting to see how God can take a song we have heard time and time again, and breathe fresh life into it. Let me explain:

While we were knee-deep in our battle with infertility, the phrases that stuck out to me were these: 

  • From this darkness, you will lead us: Waiting seasons feel so dark. They surround you. They feel like they will never break, like the light will never come in. Because you are waiting, you don’t know what the future holds. You can’t see ahead – what will the next 6 months look like? Wait, 6 months? I mean 6 weeks…6 days … 6 hours … The lack of vision of what’s ahead is blindingly dark. And so because of that darkness, the promise of God leading us is so encouraging. The prayers laced into this became “Lord, lead us.”
  • Our provision through the desert: Waiting seasons feel like one big desert. You are thirsty for answers, you are uncomfortable, you are aching and you feel like you just keep roaming. When will the break come? Will there be shade or water ahead? Will the desert ever make way to a place of rest, relaxation? Or are we destined to just keep wandering around aimlessly forever? Yet, as we wonder, He is our provision. He provides our hearts with peace, our aching bodies with rest, our wandering minds with His Word, filled with words of reassurance that we aren’t alone.
  • In the silence, in the waiting, still we can know you are good: Waiting seasons can feel like silent seasons. Sometimes, they are truly silent. And other times God is speaking to us, but it’s not what we want to hear, so we assume there is silence. All we want is direction, but sometimes it doesn’t come. Not on our timetables anyways. Where are my answers to prayers God? Where are we supposed to go next? But even when our heads scream “there’s no direction!”, His word reminds us of who God is. He is good. He has NEVER let His people down. He is not going to start with you. What does that mean? It means we can trust Him.

These lines brought my heart hope, comfort, and reassurance. The feelings I was experiencing – darkness, desert-like confusion, silence – they were normal. I wasn’t a “bad” Christian because I had these questions. And it reminded me to go back to the truth of who God is. Our feelings can’t be trusted simply because we are human and He is God.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT)

Now, as I sat back and listened to it again, feeling the little thumping legs of our baby girl and boy inside me, new phrases popped out and caused my heart to sigh in His goodness. Words like:

  • The Lord our God is ever faithful: the word faithful means loyal, continual, long-dedicated, firm and not changing. The God who stood with me in the hardest days of my life is the same God who is standing with me on this side. He brings the same peace, hope, comfort, and goodness as He did when my heart ached. He did not give up on me, even when my anger and frustration seemed toxic. And because of His faithfulness, we got to experience a miracle with Him by our sides.
  • Promise maker, promise keeper, You finish what You begin … You see it through ‘til the end: Years and years ago, He started a fire in us to become parents and by continual prayer, we asked Him to either change our hearts, close doors, or allow the promise that we would become parents to grow and continue. And when our hearts didn’t change, we took His promise at face value and believed that one day, He would bring His stirrings into fruition. 9 years was a long time to wait on a promise. I felt silly at times, like others were talking behind my back about that naive girl who still believed her God would come through. And yet, here we are – 9 years later – experiencing the fulfillment of the promise that we would become parents. He truly does see His promises through to the end. We just have to be faithful in the waiting and believe that His timing is better than ours. (Hard stuff!)
  • All Your plans are for Your glory: When things go “easy”, and there is no hardship, it’s so easy for our human minds to assume it was coincidence, or chance, or just what was supposed to happen. Yet, when there are obstacles to overcome, significant obstacles, obstacles so great that no one really believes it will ever happen, and then it DOES, well, what a beautiful platform to show the Lord’s hand at work! To know that our miracle has brought Him praise, fills my heart SO much and makes every single day in our 9 year wait worth it. My prayer has always been Psalm 115:1 – “Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness.” and I believe that He answered both our prayers for a family and our prayers for His name to be glorified with these two miracles.

Here’s the point – and it’s not to say in a belittling way “just wait till you get to the other side and then you will understand …”, because man, there are still days I wonder if He could have taken a shortcut and had the same results – no, the point is that God will always meet you and encourage you where you are at. If for you right now, it’s the silence, the waiting, the darkness and the desert – He is right beside you. He is walking WITH you. He is waiting WITH you. He is weeping WITH you. He is urging you to allow Him to be your provision, your leader and to believe He is good. He is asking you to turn your eyes and heart to Him daily and to trust that He is still in this waiting season of yours. WHATEVER the waiting season is.

Perhaps today you want a child so bad your heart breaks. Or perhaps you wonder when you will ever get to a place of thriving with your household finances. Maybe you desire for the city you live in to feel like home, or the homesickness to go away, or to find a friend who truly just gets you. Perhaps you wonder if you will ever regain a healthy weight or lifestyle, or meet a spouse, or be freed from the work stresses that plague you every single day. Or maybe, you just want to be freed from the NICU life, to be able to hold your child without fear of the wires getting in the way or perhaps you are wondering if you will ever sleep through the night again, if the crying will end, if the colic will subside. Or it could be the wondering if your daughter, the one you loved and raised, who turned her back on your family in devastating way, will ever come home again. Regardless of your waiting season, your desert, He is there. He’ll see it through to the end. Don’t believe your current state is your ending until He says it is. 

Or perhaps you are on the other side of a painful waiting season, and you can now see how God’s fingerprints were all over your story the whole time. You have experienced His faithfulness, you have seen Him glorified, you have felt the richness of answered prayers. You, friend, have a beautiful platform to share your experience. Allow Him to use you and your story for GOOD. Don’t turn your back on the experiences that brought you here. Turn back and reach out a hand to someone still struggling and let them know they are not alone. Use this time to pen out notes to your future self, who will inevitably go through another waiting season, with your exact feelings and emotions right now. Allow God to work with your future self!

Don’t give up hope. Keep trusting the One who has been faithful through all the ages. He loves you so much.

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update and diving back in.

Hi friends! Goodness, I have been terrible at blogging lately. I have to admit, its tricky navigating these post-TTC, now-pregnant waters. My heart still aches for those in the waiting season and I don’t want my pregnancy to be something that causes a triggering effect for grief. Because of that, I think I have closed myself off to writing for a bit, but when I lay in bed at night, my brain writes and I ache to get these words back out onto the screen. I was waiting for a big beautiful eloquent piece to come to me to break back in, but alas, said piece hasn’t come yet. So I have decided to simply just jump back in with an ice breaker, and then carry on as usual from there.:)

I will use this post to provide a little pregnancy update, so proceed with caution and if you decide to skip this one and come back later, please feel free!!!!

Tomorrow I will be 19 weeks pregnant! Where has time gone!? I am not sure. Here’s a sneak peek of what my bump looked like at 17 weeks. I find myself walking past the mirror and forgetting that I am pregnant and shocking myself with these two growing babes. I feel incredibly blessed every minute of the day and it still feels so surreal. Thank you Jesus!

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To sum up where we are today, I thought I would borrow and modify what my friend Elena does over at Baby Ridley Bump and provide a little weekly update. Hopefully it’ll summarize things up to this point.

How far along? 18 weeks + 6 days

Gender: Boy / Girl

Weight Gain? 5 pounds

Maternity Clothes?  YES! I have fallen in love with LuLaRoe leggings and maternity jeans. I am not sure how I will go back to button-pants when this pregnancy is done. I started wearing maternity clothes around 8-9 weeks because I found them most comfortable. I was on Prednisone for the first several weeks of my pregnancy for my antihistamine protocol and felt very swollen and bloated from that. Maternity shirts are super comfortable as well and I love the length!

Stretch Marks? None that weren’t already there haha.

Belly button in or out?  In

Sleep:  My first trimester I was up every 2 hours with bathroom breaks, but have found second trimester to be much kinder. I tend to only get up twice a night now and can get solid stretches of sleep between then. However, when I am having an insomnia filled night, the hope of sleep is lost and I usually just get out of bed and work on a project. The other night I cleaned out my closet and nested away.

Best moment this week: I started feeling Baby A move around daily and it’s so much fun experiencing that. Baby B has an anterior placenta, so it will be a while before I feel the squirms. Baby A tends to love when Daddy comes home and sister Cali barks hello, and also, loves listening to jazz music with Mommy while driving.

Symptoms:  Goodness, I have been so blessed. I managed to have a morning-sickness free pregnancy (thus far) and my only two “symptoms” have been a minimal appetite and back pain. Neither of those things stand in the way of me being overjoyed all of the time! I eat smaller snacks throughout the day to attempt to get my protein and calories in for the day, and rest with a heating pad + tylenol when standing becomes too painful. Thankfully my schedule allows for flexibility to take it easy. SO grateful.

Miss Anything?  Nada! Take it all away! I am loving this! (Although, I probably will have steak tartar within a week of giving birth. It sure does sound amazing!)

Cravings?  No cravings. Again, eating in general never sounds exciting, but once in a while something will sound good and then I eat it quickly before my stomach realizes food in coming in. My early weeks I loved Buffalo Wild Wings, but nothing special since then.

Food aversions? Eggs and pizza sauce.

Queasy or sick?  Nope!

Looking forward to?  We have our first appointment with our perinatologist on Friday for a 2-3 hour scan and I am looking forward to seeing these babies again! It’s been our longest stretch of time without an ultrasound – about a month! – and that’s been mentally challenging. Excited to see how they are growing and developing, and to get a good thorough look at all their organs and such. Prayers appreciated as we go into this Level 2 scan!

Activity: I was cleared from bedrest around week 12, and then given the okay around week 16 to start mild exercise. I got a membership at a local gym and go to walk on the treadmill 4-5 times a week for 45 minutes. It’s nice to get a few miles in and stay healthy. The gym also has a pool which will be nice as I continue to grow.

Complications / Medications? I am so happy to say my subchorionic hemorrhage is all cleared up and gone! Things are going smoothly! I weened off of my estrogen and progesterone (YAHOO!). I just take a handful of vitamins now, along with my nightly Lovenox injections for my Factor V.

Nursery Update: Josh and I were instructed to have the nursery ready between weeks 24-28 with twins, and so while moving is still comfortable, we went shopping and picked out our furniture! (Hello Surreal Moment #142). Some of the set was on back order, so we will be getting it mid-February. In the meantime, we will have the room painted and new flooring put in by the end of the month. Our bedding has been picked out and while we still have a long way to go before it’s done, we are making some progress! YAY! The babies will share a nursery while they are young, but each have their own crib.

There you go! And while I’m pregnancy sharing, I thought I’d share with you my 5 pregnancy must-have’s from my experience so far.:)

1) LuLaRoe Leggings. I am not kidding, these have been wonderful! My friend Ashley sent me a pair as a surprise during my two week wait, and a few more pairs made their way into my home since then. They are soft, comfortable, and the TC size has made it possible to grow and still have them fit wonderfully.

2) Write the Word journals. Pregnancy post infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss is hard and the mental game is tough. I have loved my Lara Casey ‘Write the Word’ journals because each day I can hop into the Bible and literally just write out the scripture passage for the day, taking my mind off of the worries and placing them on Him. It also gives me space to write out what I am grateful for that day and what’s on my heart, which I use for prayer journaling. This has been a great tool!

3) Boppy Pregnancy Wedge. I don’t think I realized how the weight of the bump would make it tough to get comfortable while sitting or laying down. This pregnancy wedge has been a life saver! I use it for my lower back and for belly support. It’s pretty small and is easy to travel with too. Winner winner!

4) The Snoogle. I got this early on in my pregnancy as a gift and it has been wonderful!!! It has made sleeping comfortable. I do routinely have to fight Cali for it, who seems to believe this Snoogle is for her. *sigh*

5) Gap and Old Navy maternity shirts. I love the Gap Pure Body long and short sleeve tee and the fitted scoop neck shirts from Old Navy. They wash really well, and are soft and comfortable to wear.

Okay, I lied, it’s going to be 6.

6) This cup for Joann Fabric. I know, how can a cup be so awesome!? But this cup has saved the day in helping me get 120+ oz of water in each day. The straw is wider than most and the cup holds 24 oz in it. I know it sounds silly to say a cup can change your life, but this cup has been a blessing. (It is only available in stores – the linked one is ugly, there are cuter designs. They are by the baking area and the 40% off coupons work on them.) (Shout out to my friend Julie for introducing me to it!)

There you have it! My beloved maternity go to’s … at least the ones I am recalling right now.

Now that I have broken the writing ice, I hope to get back into a regular routine, including lots of non-pregnancy thoughts and posts.  Thanks for all the continued love and support and prayers!

PS – And midst the excitement of progressing in weeks, my sister got engaged!! YAHOO! How cute are the happy couple!? We sure had a blessed 2016! 

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guest post: laurelbox.

Hi Friends! I am honored today to have the chance to guest post today over at laurelbox. They are a shop/blog that offers thoughtfully hand curated gifts specifically designed to nourish a heart after loss and their ministry is doing AMAZING things. I have loved the chance to get to know them better and to those of you who are aching, grieving, or navigating pain, or simply want to help a friend who is, their blog is a great one to follow and their Instagram account blesses my heart DAILY.

Pop on over to this page today to read a little about my thoughts on handling grief during the holiday season!

But wait, there’s more! I’ve teamed up with laurelbox to offer one lucky winner a package containing their own copy of In the Wait and one of their gorgeous “Ring with Hope” ornament, which recognizes a hurting heart this holiday season and offers a beautiful message of hope at Christmas. To enter, hop on over to my Instagram account now through December 15th!

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Good luck and thanks for supporting my guest post! :)

full circle moment.

The other weekend in church, I had one of those “full circle” moments. Those moments that are bigger than you, that zoom out wide, that sort of make things click.

Let me start by taking you back about 9 or 10 years ago.

9 or 10 years ago, I entered into a long season of silence in my life, a time where God was silent, painfully so. It wasn’t just for a month, or two, it was for almost 2 years. YEARS. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. In that season of my life, the words of Psalm 6:6 were read daily, inscribed in my heart: “I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping.” I prayed for magical signs. You know the ones. “Lord, make my left hand tingle if You are here.” or “Send me a sign, allow the lamp to flicker.” I never got a response, nor did I feel any different. 2 Chronicles 15:4 kept me going – “But when in their distress they turned to the LORD, the God of Israel, and sought Him, He was found by them.” 

I wasn’t sure why I felt so abandoned, so alone, so empty. It was confusing, as I had this relationship with God for years, one where I would truly feel the intimacy of a relationship with Him, an emotion, a guide. But the days, weeks, and months lingered on and I felt nothing.

In the months of silence, while I wasn’t feeling like I was getting anywhere, I kept reading my Bible, journaling, praying, and seeking Him because I felt like my experience in that past proved that He could be found. (And truthfully, I also thought “I’ve got nothing to lose.”) I was weary and felt a lost. I remember sharing this season with our couples small group at the time and feeling so numb and disconnected from Him. All of these prayers, these motions, these attempts, and still, nothing.

Finally, one March, I was sitting on my bed on vacation in Mexico, alone with my Bible and my journal and my iPod, when the song “How He Loves Us” came on by Jesus Culture and Kim Walker, and I felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks. You see, for these long months, feeling loved by Jesus was the opposite of how I felt. I felt alone. But as the words began to pour over my heart, it was like my soul instantly thawed. I cried and cried and realized, ironically enough, that He had been there the whole time. That He simply wanted to see me pursue Him with vigor.

So let’s fast forward to a few weekends ago.

Here I was, sitting in church, my first weekend attending in person after some weeks of bedrest, when a song started to play. Yes, you guessed it, “How He Loves Us”. And then my full circle moment came.

Here I was, sitting in church, pregnant, with twins. As I looked back at the time this song changed my life, I realized the second year of silence mixed right into our first year of trying to start our family, back when we didn’t know we would have a problem, back when we didn’t know what was ahead. I truly believe friends, that if it wasn’t for that long, treacherous season of silence, that I never would have gained the strength and endurance I would need to face the battle I was about to face. I think that without taking the time to pursue Him and seek Him, I never would have understand how much He loved me despite the pain, losses and sorrow. I think without that season, I would never be the person standing before you today.

And as that song played, I realized the love God had for me during that storm in a whole new way. You see, He knew what was ahead for me. He knew that I would need to go into the years of infertility fighting. He knew that I would need to be completely confident that He was ALWAYS by my side, and He knew EXACTLY what I needed to be prepared.

He knew I needed silence.

It broke my heart in the best possible way as I heard that song play out once more, completing this long anticipated circle of my season.

So, why do I share this with you today? Well, first of all, if you are in a season of silence right now, I understand. I understand how frustrated you are. I understand when people talk about hearing Him, or being answered by Him or being filled with peace because of Him, it makes you feel angry because you are doing everything you can and you don’t have that. I tell you this because I know the tears you are crying, the weariness you feel, the questions you are asking are draining. I tell you this because I want you to keep going. Even when it feels pointless. Even when you feel like He isn’t real. Even when you open up your Bible and you can’t seem to understand where this loving, kind, merciful God you are reading about is in your life. Keep going. Day after day. Keep praying. Because friends, I am certain, beyond a shadow of doubt, that in the moments I felt the most alone, looking back, He was holding me the whole time. He is worth fighting for! And He sees the BIG picture, the one, four, seven, or in my case, nine year picture in a way that you simply just can’t. He’s worth trusting.

Having faith in an invisible God isn’t easy. But if He was visible, if He proved Himself to you through physical acts all of the time, we wouldn’t need faith. (Hebrews 11:1) The growing I did in that season was invaluable. Don’t lose the chance to have your big picture moment, He has never left your side and never will.

I’d love to close this today by sharing this song and lyrics with you. I pray it blesses you today as it has for me.

“How He Loves”
He is jealous for me
Love’s like a hurricane, and I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me.

And oh
How He loves us oh
Oh how He loves us
how He loves us oh

He is jealous for me
Love’s like a hurricane, and I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me.

And oh
How He loves us oh
Oh how He loves us
how He loves us oh

Yeah He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves

Yeah He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves

We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking (ha ha)
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way

He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves
Yeah He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves yeah yeah

hey yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Yeah He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves yeah yeah
Yeah He loves us
He loves us
He loves us (ha)

[Kim Walker speaks]
Yeah
His presence. His love.
Is so thick and tangible in this room tonight.
And there are some of you here that have not encountered the love of God.
And tonight God wants to encounter you.
And wants you to feel His love.
His amazing love.
Without it these are just songs.
These are just words.
These are just instruments.
Without the love of God, it’s just like we’re just up here just making noise.
But the love of God changes us,
And we’re never the same,
We’re never the same
After we encounter the love of God
We’re never the same after we encounter the love of God
And right now if you haven’t encountered the love of God,
And you would know,
Because you wouldn’t be the same.
You would never be the same again.
And if you, if you, want to encounter the love of God right now,
You better just brace yourself because He’s about to just blow in this place
And we’re gonna encounter the love of God right now.
So God I speak to all the hearts
And I ask God that every heart be open right now
Every heart be open.
Every spirit be opened up
To you God. To You.
And a love encounter
A love encounter from you tonight
A love encounter from you tonight God.

Yeah He loves us
Oh how He loves us
Oh how He loves
Let it go deep go deep go deep

He loves us
Oh how he loves us
oh how he loves us
oh how he loves
His love is going deep
His love is going deep tonight
His love is going deep tonight
See the Father
Behold the Father
Behold the Father (ha)


PS – For those asking, things are going great over here. The babies are growing perfectly and I am already 13.5 weeks pregnant. We are immensely grateful. I will try to provide a first trimester summary in the next week. Thank you all for your continued prayers, they are life changing.

7 Things Women Struggling with Infertility Wish You Would Say.

I’m always grateful for the chance to write over at EmpowHER. This week I’m sharing 7 things you can say to help a friend who is struggling with infertility. Pop on over and give it a read!

This is certainly not a complete list and there are always different seasons a friend may be going through where other words of encouragement may be applicable. But I would love to hear from you! Comment below and let me know what someone has said that has helped you, or what you wish someone would say. Let’s keep the conversation going, as education is a key part of support in this journey!

Click here to read ‘7 Things Women Struggling with Infertility Wish You Would Say’.


PS – A brief update! I am now 10 weeks pregnant, with my SCH reducing in size considerably! Praise the LORD! Both babies are looking strong and healthy. At our last ultrasound on Monday, we got to see both of them moving around and squirming! Baby B started the dance moves and our nurse practitioner said he/she woke Baby A who started dancing away too. It was beyond precious to see and I think for both Josh and I, made everything feel a little more real! PRAISE GOD!

We truly are in awe of His miracles. In the last 9 years, we hoped and prayed persistently for this day and this season, but at times, it was tough to believe it would ever really be here. I pray so much that our story brings HOPE to the hearts of those hurting and wondering if their day will ever come. Friends, we understand. And I pray that you are comforted tonight, in whatever season you are in, to know that He does see and hear your cries and requests. I wish I understood His timing more and could hand out Fast Passes to each of you aching. But please, be encouraged to know you are never alone and this tough, grueling road is not in vain. Press on dear sisters. I am praying for you each day.

Romans 12:15 has been on my heart constantly these last weeks: “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” Thank you all for rejoicing with us and know that we are joining you with empathy and weeping in your days of hurting too. I am grateful to know we serve a God who is capable of gathering us in His arms in both the days of rejoicing and the days of weeping.

With love,

Chelsea