what it’s like: to have postpartum anxiety.

How often do you hear about postpartum anxiety being talked about? Not often – at least not often enough. Yet the fact are that almost 15 percent of moms suffer from a postpartum mood disorder like anxiety or depression, and 20% of people don’t report their struggles. It’s time to start breaking the stigma that postpartum mood concerns are okay to talk about. It’s no one’s fault. You can suffer and still be a good mom. It doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful for your blessings, or aware of how unlikely your worries are to come true. It’s SO important for moms to talk about their struggles, emotions, concerns, and worries. My guess is if you started to talk about your story, someone else would jump in quickly and say “ME TOO – I thought I was all alone in that.”

That’s how I felt reading Allie’s story today. It’s eye-opening and reassuring when you know of someone else who says what you’re thinking. I am so grateful for her willingness to open up to us today and share her story and journey with postpartum anxiety (and depression). Share her words, or find the strength to talk to your doctor if the story echos a “me too” in your heart.

You are not alone.

You are not a bad mother.

You can live without constant worry.

And now, here’s Allie’s story.


… let’s see: how old is my daughter? 4 years old, okay …

So about 4 years ago, I was so deep in the middle of my own perpetual anxiety “attack” that I couldn’t see straight, quite literally. I awoke one morning so dizzy that I felt drunk. I was having intermittent heart palpitations so frequently, that I went in for an echocardiogram and wore a heart monitor for 24 hours. Convinced that I was dying, I was a little surprised when all of my lab work came back normal. I was a little annoyed when I was told it was all likely due to stress. I was taken aback when I was written a prescription for TWO different medicines and scheduled for regular appointments with a one-on-one therapist as well as a group therapy session.

I filled my prescription, but I put off taking it for a few more weeks. I was paralyzed with the fear of what the medication meant. I couldn’t see my own need to utilize pharmaceuticals for my own mental health. I was scared of the stigma attached to psychiatric medication. I was also irrationally scared of every single side effect possible. It personified all that I feared of myself and my disorder. It meant admitting that I was too weak to conquer this on my own. It was waving the white flag on life: “here I am, too feeble to live a beautiful, blessed, happy life without creating my own issues in my own head.” I felt like a failure as a mother, as a person, as a child of God and someone bestowed with His blessings.

At that particular time, my anxiety seemed to manifest as an intense, irrational fear of death; death of either my husband, my kids, myself or all of us. When you are handed a prescription for something that “could cause suicidal tendencies,” you start to panic a bit. Additionally, the thought of being diagnosed with a disorder in which I technically am unable to control my own feelings and emotions at all times was terrifying to a control-freak like myself. Not only was I having to admit that I was not in complete control of my mental state, but then I was supposed to agree to take a daily medication that could possibly cause me to do the very thing I was most fixated on: die.

The truth is, my anxiety was causing me to become depressed. I would never have classified myself as such. I erroneously believed someone suffering from depression looked and behaved in a certain way, but I was depressed because I was hopeless. I was running through a labyrinth of my own fears and everywhere I turned to escape was another wall. It was defeating. It was exhausting. I relinquished my existence to one of perpetual fear and stress. This didn’t mean I didn’t want to exist. As mentioned above, it was quite the opposite. I LOVED my life. I couldn’t even accept how wonderful it was because I was so scared that at some point, the other shoe would drop. I lived in fear of a possible moment in which it would all be ripped away from me.

While yes, lying awake at night for hours, still as stone, listening for any sounds of a potential hazard was exhausting, I carried this burden and accepted it. Yes, grinding my teeth 24 hours per day left me in physical pain, but I ignored it. Sure, my mind was preoccupied with countless “what ifs,” but I classified them as “prepared for anything.” It wasn’t until my anxiety presented itself physically that I realized how bad it had become.

So, two weeks went by as I juggled the idea of continuing along this exhausting, unmedicated path or following a personalized plan from a group of mental health experts. I finally gave in to the idea of medicated treatment when my mom and my best friend both encouraged me to flip the dialog: If I were being prescribed medication for any other illness, would I hesitate to begin treatment for even a second?

You see, we all know that stress is a killer. So why do so many of us allow such a thing to slowly kill us? Because of a stigma surrounding the treatment? Even the more holistic approaches to reducing stress and managing anxiety (such as sleeping, meditating, healthy diets and overall self care) are hardly allowed for in our society. It’s no wonder so many people are weary of what it means to utilize medication.

I am thankful for my treatment plan and for the medication it includes. I am proud and thankful to say that I have been working on managing my anxiety with great success for 4 years now.

Sometimes I still get very scared when my anxiety grows greater than my ability to control it. Sometimes I worry that I use my anxiety as an excuse: that instead of treating self-care as a necessary tool to cope with my illness, I use it as a crutch to avoid challenging things. It’s a very fine balance between understanding what is a healthy way to manage anxiety and what is considered abnormal in coping.

My biggest fear of my illness is passing it on to my children. I see my son exhibit many of my same anxious tendencies and although it breaks my heart, I still thank God for my blessings: you see, there is nobody more understanding of his neuroses – and how to help him manage them – than myself. It’s a tragic bond we share, but it motivates all of my efforts in controlling my own anxiety in the hopes that I can help him control his own. I try to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, if managing anxiety is our most pressing personal issue, then life is still pretty darn good.

I’m here to tell you that doctors, medication, therapists, prayer and holistic self-care measures are all part of the the beautiful blessings God has granted us. We do not need to live in a constant state of worry. We have many different tools available to help us appreciate and fully enjoy our current blessings without obsessing over potential future worries. I urge anyone stuck in the hamster-wheel of anxiety to seek help. Advocate for yourself. Understand that life in constant fear is NOT normal or noble, but seeking and utilizing treatment measures IS.


Dole Whip at DisneyAlli Hietbrink is a 32 year old wife and Stay at Home Mother to two children. She is the owner of Ca Natives and lives in Northern California with her husband, kids and two Goldendoodle babies. Alli enjoys writing, decorating, yoga, cooking, crafting, social campaigning and personal growth. You can connect with her on her blog CA Natives and on Instagram at @canatives. 


PS – Don’t miss a thing with this series! Follow along on Facebook and Instagram to catch each of the upcoming stories! I absolutely LOVE connecting with each of you! 

PPS – If you’re ever looking for a devotional on living life while in a waiting season, check out the devotional I co-authored called In the Wait’!

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PPPS – Check out the other contributions from this series, including What It’s Like: to experience multiple IVF cyclesraise a child with special needsuse an egg donorbe a DIY-er and home style blogger , be a NICU nurse,  Live fully in singleness while still hoping for marriagesuffer with endometriosis. experience depressionstart a company, have a micro preemie,  lose a parent, be childless not by choice, have a spouse with a chronic illnessfund raise for fertility treatments, have a traumatic birthing experience, take a natural route with infertility,  be on a reality show, go through the adoption process, have male factor infertility,be a stay at home mom, be an entertainer,  be given a Down syndrome diagnosis for your child , experience multiple miscarriages, have a surrogate, experience a late pregnancy stillbirth, be a police officers wife, be a working mom , be a breastfeeding mother, have weight loss surgerydonate and adopt an embryo,  be on a reality show, go through the fostering process, throw a themed dinner party , have PCOS, have had a cancer diagnosis,be a high school teacher,love someone who’s experiencing infertilitybe a step-parent,be the husband in a couple experiencing infertility and experience secondary infertility. Stay tuned for many other amazing topics to come every Tuesday and Friday here!

what it’s like: to experience secondary infertility.

When an opening came up for the topic of secondary infertility in this series, Krystle connected right away and offered to help, and goodness, I am so glad she did because this piece had me in tears! 

For those who haven’t heard of secondary infertility before, it’s the inability to become pregnant or to carry a baby to term after previously giving birth to a baby. Secondary infertility could be difficulty conceiving your second child or your fifth.

Her story exudes the pain and confusion that secondary infertility causes and yet the hope and faithfulness of Jesus who writes our stories better than we could have planned. Krystle, I am SO thankful we connected for this and you are able to share your story of What It’s Like.

Friends, enjoy!


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Our story with secondary infertility includes some of the darkest days of my life.  Many days I wondered when the sun would shine in my heart again, but what I’m hoping to highlight by sharing our story, is that while it was overwhelmingly difficult, and the weeping felt like it lasted for endless evenings – the hope and promise of “joy in the morning” we find in scripture is true.

So what’s it like experiencing secondary infertility? Whew, the question alone feels heavy. Here’s just a small highlight roll of some of the struggles we experienced from a practical perspective.

  • Frequently hearing, “Why don’t you just adopt? I know so and so who started the adoption process and then got pregnant right away!” Important side note: Adoption is not a solution for infertility’s wounds. It’s a wonderful way God uses brokenness to put together families, but it’s not for everyone.
  • Fielding questions from strangers like, “When are you going to give her (our daughter) a sibling?” Or after repeated miscarriages, patiently smiling through (well-meaning) platitudes of “It just wasn’t meant to be” or “It’ll happen when you least expect it”.
  • Waking your toddler up at 6am to tag along for early am, 50 mile-round trips multiple times a week to fertility appointments (it’s not always easy to ask for childcare help that early in the morning and that frequently and often with just hours’ notice).
  • Feeling guilty that you should “just be enjoying the blessing of the child you have”, all while trying to hide the tears when that same child cries at night for a sibling.
  • Struggling with wanting to isolate yourself from others because you’re just flat out weary of answering the “How’s the fertility stuff going?” question with the same “Not yet” response each month.

My husband and I talked early and often about starting our family. Because of a family history and inconsistent cycles, I figured we might have a harder time conceiving. So, we decided together to start “trying” for a family about 2 years into marriage. After months turned into over a year, we were recommended to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist (fertility doc). Once we got up the courage, our Dr. was able to assess things and get us on track to conceive only 3 months after meeting him. Fast forward to today, and we have a precious 4.5 year old (‘cause the half is important, ya know!) daughter. She is our delight and joy. Now, after all the early days of sleeplessness and sheer exhaustion began to wane, we started talking about continuing to grow our family.

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While the months of “trying” stretched on for us, we figured we just needed a little extra help again. Back we went to our doctor, who recommended a procedure that we had gone through before conceiving our daughter. Now just a couple months back into the game, I went through the procedure, and that following month I conceived. We were shocked and thrilled! But that thrill was short-lived after some testing revealed I was expected to miscarry. At that time, I had heard the statistic that 1 in 4 women will miscarry; I had read the countless stories of tear-filled mommas who had gripped their bellies with the hope of life only to see it fade away from reality. I knew that thought is never far from a new momma’s mind, still, we clung to the promises and sought to hold that little life with open hands. And while I tried to prepare my heart for the worst, once the little life inside me slipped away I realized one can never fully prepare for the emotions that come.

After giving my body a little time to heal, we jumped back in with a new plan and renewed hope (if you’ve walked through infertility you know that cycle of excited hope, anticipation during the two-week wait, and disappoint when it doesn’t happen – all too well). Well, four months later we were pregnant again! Then just a few weeks later, on the eve of our 6th wedding anniversary we found ourselves grieving over another child we didn’t get to meet. We hugged our JG a little closer and pressed on, weary but still very hopeful.

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Fast forward to the nearly 3-year mark of praying, hoping and waiting, we had completed our 14th (yes, 14!) and final IUI. I know this gives some people early in their wait heart palpitations! BUT before you go and allow your heart to fear, please keep in mind the reason we did so many, is simply because every genetic test, procedure, ultrasound, and (many!) blood tests had come back completely normal. Our doctor always expressed that he believed it would happen again for us, and my husband’s insurance was very comprehensive. Additionally, each cycle was “perfect” medically speaking.

Throughout these exhausting months, and multiple miscarriages we always sought to press on in trusting the Lord’s timing and the wisdom He gave to our doctor. But then came the point, where it was clear my body couldn’t keep up with the physically and emotionally exhaustive treatments. It was our personal decision to not move forward with IVF, and so we made the difficult, but confident decision to stop everything.

It took approximately 1,095 days, achieving pin cushion status, countless negative tests, the mourning of precious lives lost in between, every bit of the Holy Spirit’s help and a whole village of people praying for us, but we finally arrived at a place of peace and acceptance. It was a long season of wrestling, waiting, listening, hoping, and ultimately surrendering. Good, but hard soul-work that has yielded an intimacy with Christ that we wouldn’t trade for the world.

But our story doesn’t end there. When I pause and reflect on where secondary-infertility has brought us today. There’s no denying that the providence of my unfulfilled desire to carry another child has brought us to hearts pregnant with the hope of another child who will not share our DNA; yet, was always meant for us and us for him, from the beginning of time. We are just months away from traveling to meet our son in China. That’s right! All the years of heartache weren’t without purpose, they led us straight to our son.

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Unexplained infertility would have never been our plan to bring us to our son (and it’s not always the answer for everyone walking the same road), but here we are, and I find myself unable to thank God enough for His infinite wisdom and for allowing us this front-row seat to watch Him work in details big and small.

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Now, for those still in the wait, still longing with the worst anticipation to see their wombs and arms filled with life, I only have so many words I can share here, but in case you’re grasping for some hope right now, I wrote a post here to encourage others. If you feel so led, please take a moment to read. You are beautiful sister, and your identity is not wrapped up in being a mother – or not. God is faithful to help you bloom where you are planted right now. Keep pressing on and fighting the fight of faith!


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Hello new friends, I’m Krystle from the Great Lake State of Michigan!  I’m the devoted and thankful wife to JB, momma to one precious 4 year old little girl and a son on the way via adoption from China. The hubs and I live an ordinary life, “content to fill a little space if thou be glorified”. We look forward to seeing what story God writes as we live out a life of obedience and surrendering of our best laid plans to “Nevertheless” not our will, but His be done. I started chronicling our journey and what God is doing in her hearts along the way here. Come on over, we’d love to meet you!


PS – Don’t miss a thing with this series! Follow along on Facebook and Instagram to catch each of the upcoming stories! I absolutely LOVE connecting with each of you! 

PPS – If you’re ever looking for a devotional on living life while in a waiting season, check out the devotional I co-authored called In the Wait’!

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PPPS – Check out the other contributions from this series, including What It’s Like: to experience multiple IVF cyclesraise a child with special needsuse an egg donorbe a DIY-er and home style blogger , be a NICU nurse,  Live fully in singleness while still hoping for marriagesuffer with endometriosis. experience depressionstart a company, have a micro preemie,  lose a parent, be childless not by choice, have a spouse with a chronic illnessfund raise for fertility treatments, have a traumatic birthing experience, take a natural route with infertility,  be on a reality show, go through the adoption process, have male factor infertility,be a stay at home mom, be an entertainer,  be given a Down syndrome diagnosis for your child , experience multiple miscarriages, have a surrogate, experience a late pregnancy stillbirth, be a police officers wife, be a working mom , be a breastfeeding mother, have weight loss surgerydonate and adopt an embryo,  be on a reality show, go through the fostering process, throw a themed dinner party , have PCOS, have had a cancer diagnosis, be a high school teacher,love someone who’s experiencing infertility be a step-parent and be the husband in a couple experiencing infertility. Stay tuned for many other amazing topics to come every Tuesday and Friday here!

what it’s like: to be the husband in a couple facing infertility.

Today’s featured What It’s Like writer is none other than my husband, Josh. Words can’t express the deep impact his words made on my heart. “So what would you think about writing something for my blog ….” I asked him months ago. “I’ll do it.” he responded, and I had no idea what he would write, or what he would share. And yet, his words below give me, and many of you, an inside peek at what it’s like to be him…the husband in a couple that is struggling with infertility.

A peek inside of the male mind … inside the mind of someone who has stood by me in 13+ years of marriage and 10 years of infertility …. someone who has lost just as many babies as I have …. who has gone to the appointments … who has administered the shots … who has been through it all with me. Today we get to hear from him. I am so proud of his words below and pray you walk away encouraged.

Josh, honey, I love you and I am so proud to be your wife. 


I still remember the day.  The day after Christmas 2012.  I was at work, in my office.  Chelsea had just told me that our beta numbers were not good, and the pregnancy that we both rejoiced for was over, the bleeding was indeed a miscarriage.  The gifts we opened the day before, the mom and dad onesies, would not be worn. It was over.  I tried to breathe.  How was I going to make it from my office to my home?  I had to talk to people.  I had to drive.  I had to choke back the imminent tears so I could commute safely.  It was early afternoon, still long before it was time for me to leave, but today it was time for me to go.

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December 2012

I work in the same office as my father.  I emailed him “Chelsea’s numbers went down. The pregnancy is no longer. I can’t talk about it right now, so please don’t ask.” Any other day breathing was second nature, but suddenly I found each breath very intentional, holding back emotions with each slow breath.  I went home to be with Chelsea, and found her lying in a dark room, with worship music playing and tears flowing.

I didn’t know what to do.  How do we move forward?

Many men traveling the infertility journey have no idea how to deal with their emotions, and I was one of them.  I saw this poem around that time, and it really spoke to me.

A Father’s Grief – by Eileen Knight Hagemeister 

It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief.
Since “men don’t cry” and “men are strong”
No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test.
And field calls and visitors
So that she can get some rest.

They always ask if she’s alright
And what she’s going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
“My friend, how are you?”

He hears her cry in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
And dries her tears and comforts her
But “stays strong” for her sake.

It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too.

I struggled.  How can I be strong for Chelsea, while also dealing with my own emotions? It’s like Chelsea and I were navigating a journey blindfolded, except I was getting a piggy back ride from her; along for the ride on this blinded journey, but with less feeling of control or understanding.

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Naturally I only speak for myself, but I feel like this is probably a pretty common feeling for most men.  We feel the stumbles on the piggy back ride, the falls, the fear, and yet we feel an utter lack of control as well.  Both in direction, and also our emotions.  We feel the losses, the figurative prick of every needle, the fear of every bathroom visit, the gagging while choking down the pills.  We feel the rejoicing in the wins, and the heartbreak of the losses.  And the hardest part, we are solvers, and we can’t do a thing to solve this.

And then we had another miscarriage. And another. I couldn’t fix this.

I felt lost, however over the decade in which we tried to have kids, I found one thing that consistently help me.

Prayer. Talking to God. Sharing my lack of control with the One who has control.

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I prayed every morning on my way to the gym.  I prayed on the way to work.  I prayed with Chelsea every night, and I leaned into God through prayer every time I could.  Sometimes I would just play a song and sing it in my head as a prayer (Need You Now by Plumbwas often my go-to).  I would love to say I had some sort of 3 step method for all men out there, but here is the thing: navigating the infertility road pretty much requires men to often act and react in ways that are foreign to them and that’s why we need Jesus.

My advice for all husbands out there: Pray. Express to God how you feel.  Pray about the hope you want to have.  Pray about losses, the wins, the understanding you want to have for your wife and how to support her.  Pray for the pain to subside and for the doctors to figure out what did and didn’t work.  Pray for the medications to work, the babies to grow.  Pray for anything and everything. Don’t keep things pent up. Share them with God because I learned just how much He cares. It doesn’t have to be the perfect words. He understands.

We have seen so many things on our journey.  Miscarriages, tests with one line and two lines, shots, pills, ultrasounds, weeping and laughter.  We have been up, down, tossed around, and at times, felt like we were losing our minds.  But the one thing that always seemed to help me deal with the ups and downs was my faith and prayer.

It is difficult to be the husband, wife, parent to, or any other person affected by infertility.  It’s an unfair journey that too many have to travel.  Being a husband on this journey is a lonely road, full of many emotions many men are not ready or equipped to handle.

Take it to God and the Creator of life, the Creator of the lives you hope to cherish one day, will help you navigate the lost feeling and journey that is infertility.


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Josh is the proud husband of Chelsea, creator of this blog, and Dad to his long-awaited for miracle twins Kirsten and Logan. He resides in Minnesota and enjoys hunting and golfing in his free time. He prides himself in a well timed joke and is always up for a competition of some sort. He is grateful for the story that God has given Him even through the ups and downs. 


PS – Don’t miss a thing with this series! Follow along on Facebook and Instagram to catch each of the upcoming stories! I absolutely LOVE connecting with each of you! 

PPS – If you’re ever looking for a devotional on living life while in a waiting season, check out the devotional I co-authored called In the Wait’!

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PPPS – Check out the other contributions from this series, including What It’s Like: to experience multiple IVF cyclesraise a child with special needsuse an egg donorbe a DIY-er and home style blogger , be a NICU nurse,  Live fully in singleness while still hoping for marriagesuffer with endometriosis. experience depressionstart a company, have a micro preemie,  lose a parent, be childless not by choice, have a spouse with a chronic illnessfund raise for fertility treatments, have a traumatic birthing experience, take a natural route with infertility,  be on a reality show, go through the adoption process, have male factor infertility,be a stay at home mom, be an entertainer,  be given a Down syndrome diagnosis for your child , experience multiple miscarriages, have a surrogate, experience a late pregnancy stillbirth, be a police officers wife, be a working mom , be a breastfeeding mother, have weight loss surgerydonate and adopt an embryo,  be on a reality show, go through the fostering process, throw a themed dinner party , have PCOS, have had a cancer diagnosis, be a high school teacher,love someone who’s experiencing infertility and be a step-parent. Stay tuned for many other amazing topics to come every Tuesday and Friday here!

what it’s like: to be a step-parent.

I remember meeting Jonna years ago in our workplace and boy, am I glad I did! She is full of vibrant life and wisdom and truly someone I admire! I am so thankful for her willingness to share her story today on what it’s like to be a step-parent. Her loving attitude and honesty is appreciated and I know you’ll walk away wishing she was your own Ms. Jonna…or at least your therapist! :) Love ya friend, thanks for sharing! 

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Mom is always a titled I wanted.  I thought I would be just like my mom, 4 kiddos by the time I was 30 years old.  Well, 30 came and went, as did 31, 32, 33, and then at 34 the unexpected happened; an 8-year-old girl named Jaylee and a 10-year-old boy named Hunter, let me marry their dad.  Well, to be honest Hunter first made me eat grits first. They are from the south, and he thought that was an important rite of passage. Then, just like that, I went from being a single 30-something to a “step-mom” of two! Jaylee likes to calls me her “2nd Mom” and I have never been so honored, although they actually call me Ms. Jonna 95% of the time (again it’s a southern thing).  Before I share more of my story, I want to say it is my story and everyone’s process on becoming a step-parent is different, not right or wrong, just different. If I compared myself to other step-parents or moms in general, on a consistent basis, let me tell you I would be one hot mess. It is not worth it!  Grow and learn from others, but do you and figure out what works the best for you and your family.   

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photo by Kate Frank Photography

There are few things I feel I must acknowledge that has made my journey of being a “2nd Mom”/step-mom/co-parent a wonderful life growing experience for me.  First, I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and prior to meeting my husband and his children I sat with many blended families.  This helped me to have somewhat reasonable expectations, but also made me talk with Eli, my husband, prior to marrying him about both of our parenting expectations.  He will tell you he had to take every personality test known to mankind, which is true. However, it was easy to see that our values about parenting and what my role in parenting would be were aligned.  For me I knew I could not move forward in our relationship if I was not supported as an active co-parent when Jaylee and Hunter with us.  This made things a lot easier for me, as I knew I would always have his support when it came to how I parented even if it was different than his approach at times.

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Photo by Kate Frank Photography

The other part that I cannot acknowledge enough is that Jaylee and Hunter’s mom has always supported my relationship with them…huge.  We text each, send pictures to each other, she supports my time with the them even if Eli is away for military training.  I know without her support my relationship would not be where it is at today with Jaylee (12) and Hunter (15).  I know this alone makes my step-parenting experience unique, but I hope it can also be helpful to other families that might be in similar situation that it is possible.  I would add while I am actively involved, I also am respectful of the fact that I am not the final decision maker. Meaning, ultimately for bigger decisions, it is up to Eli and the kids mom to work through the details and come to an agreement.  I support that process but I chose not to be actively involved out of deep respect for their parenting decisions.

Most of my friends tell me how lucky the kids are to have me.  Well, that it is an amazing compliment but let me tell you, with all seriousness, I am the “lucky” one.  I was talking to a friend recently who went through an extremely difficult season with me in my 20s.  I remembered being in that season where I struggled accepting where my life was at versus where I thought it “should” be, which I would now define as grief.  However, as I gave myself permission to let go and grieve what I thought my story “should” look like and focused on allowing a different, possibly better story to happen, my perspective shifted, as did my theology.  I became less judgmental, more accepting. I let go of some pride, focused on learning how to be where I was rather than always on where I wanted to be, and became simple became open to all the possibilities of life.  Now, please do not think I have arrived or perfected the art of living this way, but I would say doing some of this work prior to meeting my new family was needed or my heart would have never been opened to this being my story.

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I have now been married to Eli for 4 years.  My relationship with Jaylee (12) is so special. Jaylee has reminded me to be care-free, to be confident in who I am, to be strong, but also to be sweet.  She has reminded me how awful middle school can be, as we both will say she is in survival mode.  We love our trips to Target and Starbucks and friends if you thought I talked a lot she puts me to shame.  She is creative and we both are obsessed with Pinterest. Now, when I found out I was pregnant with a girl, I worried about Jaylee and how she would respond once the baby was born. She was not very excited about the pregnancy, to say the least.  However, I made the conscious decision that once the baby, Felicity, was born I would not force any interactions and let Jaylee get to know her sister in her own time and way.  I still remember the day that Jaylee made a fort in her room and that she let Fefe hangout in there with her.  I felt at that moment they became sisters. The more I get to know Jaylee (we are always getting to know each other, right?) the more I learn to pace with her rather than me set the pace. For example, I took her school shopping and last night she looked up at me from the living room floor and said “Ms. Jonna I love you.” Maybe it is because I bought her new clothes, but this girl loves quality time and she reminds me how important it is to slow down and invest my time with her, she is so worth it.  

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Hunter Dean is what we call the challenger of the family.  He is a deep thinker, even though it might not be cool to admit it.  For example, have you ever played the game “Would you rather”?  Well, you ask each other questions like “Would you rather eat 10 pizzas or 10 tubs of ice cream?”, usually silly questions like that. However, one day Hunter was with me and my dad and his question was “Would you rather take out Isis or have prevented 9/11 from happening?”  What??  Obviously, a military kid, and after some intense dialogue he said he would have prevented 9-11 so his Dad wouldn’t have been gone so much. Now that’s intense, but we have conversations like this all the time and I love it.  He is also the most affectionate teenager I have ever met and even more he is confident about being that way.  One of my favorite parts about Hunter is he will be doing something completely independent from the rest of us and stop to say “I love you”. Every time he or Jaylee tell me this, I know this was the story I was meant to have…to be in their lives and to have them in mine. Hunter loves trying to beat his Dad in anything, thinks it is hilarious when I try to play video games, and we love to be goofy together.  It has been amazing to watch him grow from a boy to becoming a young man these past few years.  He now offers to help do things around the house and his current goal is to play LaCrosse professionally or become a Lawyer. I personally think he would drive me crazy as a Lawyer due to his annoying talent to persist in his arguments, it is exhausting. He is now several inches taller than me and opens jars for me. We talk about everything or at least I think we talk about most things. He came to me the other night stating, “Ms. Jonna, I don’t understand girls”. We talked for almost three hours but I said I don’t understand them myself and I am one, but that’s what makes us so great, right?

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Now, do we fight? Yes.  Have we made each other cry? Yes.  Do they roll their eyes at me? Yes.  Do I roll my eyes at them? Yes! We are still a family with our ups and downs and trying to figure out how to parent them in each stage they go through.  I told them I was writing this article and asked them what advice they would give a step-parent.  They both said they would tell other step-parents to be involved and treat them like they were theirs.  Now, as I stated earlier, I am a therapist and I have worked with a lot of children/teenagers where this is not necessarily what they would want.  However, I have found asking them questions like this makes them feel that their voice is important and that they get a say in how their family system looks.  We are now in the teenager years/toddler years and I often find myself saying “Ufta”, drinking more coffee than ever before, and falling asleep before I ever actually finish a cocktail.  It is not always easy, but I could not love Jaylee and Hunter more and I am so thankful for them being in my story and letting me be in theirs.

With Gratitude,

Jonna aka Ms. Jonna aka 2nd Mom aka Mom


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Jonna is creative therapist, entrepreneur of ideas, and thinks she is either a 7 or a 4 on the Enneagram.  She has been married to Eli for 4 years, and a co-parent to Jaylee (12) and Hunter (15). Jonna and Eli’s baby girl, Felicity Brave, is now 2 ½ years old.  She enjoys renovating, meaningful relationships, and self-growth. As of this month she is opening her own private practice in Portage, Michigan. You can connect with her at @eandjrenovate or @bravecounseling_coaching


PS – Don’t miss a thing with this series! Follow along on Facebook and Instagram to catch each of the upcoming stories! I absolutely LOVE connecting with each of you! 

PPS – If you’re ever looking for a devotional on living life while in a waiting season, check out the devotional I co-authored called In the Wait’!

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PPPS – Check out the other contributions from this series, including What It’s Like: to experience multiple IVF cyclesraise a child with special needsuse an egg donorbe a DIY-er and home style blogger , be a NICU nurse,  Live fully in singleness while still hoping for marriagesuffer with endometriosis. experience depressionstart a company, have a micro preemie,  lose a parent, be childless not by choice, have a spouse with a chronic illnessfund raise for fertility treatments, have a traumatic birthing experience, take a natural route with infertility,  be on a reality show, go through the adoption process, have male factor infertility,be a stay at home mom, be an entertainer,  be given a Down syndrome diagnosis for your child , experience multiple miscarriages, have a surrogate, experience a late pregnancy stillbirth, be a police officers wife, be a working mom , be a breastfeeding mother, have weight loss surgerydonate and adopt an embryo,  be on a reality show, go through the fostering process, throw a themed dinner party , have PCOS, have had a cancer diagnosis, be a high school teacher, and love someone who’s experiencing infertilityStay tuned for many other amazing topics to come every Tuesday and Friday here!

what it’s like: to love someone who’s experiencing infertility.

This What It’s Like post will have a short introduction, because truthfully, there aren’t words on my end. Today my own sister is sharing what it was like to be her while we went through our infertility journey; what it was like to love us in the midst of our sorrows and endless attempts to start a family. Her words are powerful and make my heart tender. Above all, I am so grateful for her willingness to share and allow us into her heart. Sis, thank you, I love you and we are forever thankful for your support, prayers, and love from beginning to His ending.

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PS – My sister just launched a GORGEOUS Etsy shop with stunning name prints for children (and adults!). You have to check it out and snag one for a little one in your life! 


Today, this conversation is for all the support people of those experiencing infertility. It’s just a snippet of my experience as a sister to someone experiencing infertility. Your story will be different, but here is mine. 

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Chelsea and Courtney, circa early 1990’s

The biggest thing I have learned throughout this road, is to love somebody with infertility, you go on a journey of your own. Your own grief, your own experiences, your own emotions. Your journey is valid. The pain is just as real, though experienced in a different way, the triumphs are just as glorious, though experienced from a different vantage point.

So we will back up to the beginning of this journey, briefly, because all stories need a beginning!

I was just fifteen when Josh and Chelsea got married. I had my learner’s permit for driving, was navigating the start of college searching, and just got my braces off. To say Chelsea and I were in different life stages is an understatement!

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A few years into their marriage the questions from family and friends started popping up, “So when are you going to try and start a family?” (I have learned this is such a tender, tender question.) From my memory, there was talk about pills helping, and medical treatments here and there. They were having some difficulty, but were hopeful. Those early years of their journey are a blur in my memory. Partly because I really had no clue about fertility. And frankly, the topic was a bit embarrassing so I kind of blocked it out; what teenager actually likes talking about periods?!

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I am most thankful for the day when Chelsea and Josh courageously stepped out to share about the infertility they were facing. To everyone who is experiencing infertility, I can’t tell you how thankful I was to know that this was a thing, and that people I loved were walking the roadWhen I learned the facts, I started to truly understand their hearts, and started feeling the pain of their empty arms. It was a lot to swallow as a sister. And it took me a while to process it all.

Early on, I didn’t really know what to say. I didn’t know how to address or communicate what I felt. I wanted to make their pain go away. I wanted it to all be fixed. Can’t this all be fixed? In my experience, this may be one of the most difficult places to be as a support person. The complete lack of control. It’s so hard to see loved ones go through something trying. So hard. So, if you’re there today, I get it.

As a support person, there were seasons I felt helpless. And that helplessness more often than not led me into my own head. I didn’t know how to process the pain, the miscarriages, the failed cycles. I didn’t want to feel the emotion of grief and loss. This was my sister and brother-in-law. These were my future nieces/nephews. Not only was I feeling the grief for them, I was feeling it for myself, too. As a family, we were all grieving in some way after failed cycles/miscarriages. Looking back, I realize that support people need support themselves during these events. Because grief exempts no one.

Reflecting on this journey is difficult for me, and still brings up emotions of grief. Because nearly ten years of seeing my sister and brother-in-law go through repeated loss, and processing it myself, is still hard. It still has the most tender of emotions attached to it. Infertility is painful, and to love people who are going through it, is raw.

My biggest coping mechanism was prayer and journalling. And for all of you who cry out to God and ask, “Why…?” I have been there. Pages and pages and pages of being there. For all of you who feel anger surrounding infertility, I get that, too.

But woven so deeply throughout this journey were undeniable moments of God’s presence and reassurance. Songs on the radio boasting of God’s faithfulness. Sermons on Sundays reminding me that trials bring joy. Quiet times with God where verses spoke into their situation perfectly. So in the midst of the hurt, God was still there. Quietly, and sometimes boldly, reminding my heart: There’s hope. I am still good. Continue to have faith. There were times I doubted that biological children were in the cards for them. Times I felt foolish for believing “this cycle is going to be the one”. I wrestled with God. I learned about His heart for the hurting, that infertility was never a part of His original plan, and it broke His heart more than it did mine. I learned so much about God’s compassion, so much about my own heart, so much about perseverance. About faith, mourning with those who mourn, and the ministry of presence. 

To say my faith was tested is an understatement. And to say my faith matured is also an understatement. Support people have just as much opportunity to dig into God’s strength as do the person/couple experiencing infertility. Chelsea’s infertility journey brought with it a unique experience for me to learn how to be in a trial for a long time, and yet, to still have hope in a God who can do anything, who loves incomprehensibly, and who asks us to pray without ceasing. I was an outsider looking in, yet connected intimately to the heart of my sister; experiencing her infertility from a different perspective, but still feeling the high of the highs and the low of the lows.

The morning of their final IVF cycle, I blared “Miracles” by Jesus Culture at work, and pleaded with God, “This cycle has to work.” And so my heart sang a song, like it did so many times before during their other important medical appointments, I believe in You, I believe in You, You’re the God of miracles. You are the same. Yesterday. Today. And forever.

And once again, I allowed my heart to be completely vulnerable before God and fully believe that God was capable. He was going to allow them to conceive. It was in the cards. And just like all of the other times before, peace settled in my spirit. Because no matter what the outcome was, God was still God and He was still good. He loved Chelsea and Josh more than I could imagine. He intimately knew how deep their desire was to have a child. And most importantly, He had the absolute best for their lives, even if had another painful outcome.

To love somebody with infertility is stretching. It changed the way I viewed conceiving. It allowed me to empathize with friends who either said, “I got my period” or “I didn’t get my period”. I now understand how both can be devastating for someone TTC.

It also significantly impacted me and my husband’s decision to try for children soon after we got married. As newlyweds, we could have tried for kids in a couple of years. But Chelsea’s and Josh’s story impacted me beyond words. It taught me time is so precious. And this baby boy I am carrying now is the biggest blessing I have ever received. I have not been 1 in 8 for our first pregnancy; and this overwhelms my heart with gratitude. 

To love somebody with infertility is to let their story change you. And that is the best way I know how to honor Chelsea, Josh, and all my little nieces and nephews laughing and dancing at the feet of Jesus.

What God has done and has continued to do in Chelsea’s and Josh’s life floors me, and I am so humbled to witness their journey from the perspective of a sister. The ministry that has been birthed out of infertility is ironic, but not surprising for a God who redeems all things: Even in death, God brings about life. 


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Courtney is married to her supportive husband, Dave, and they currently live in the Twin Cities. She recently opened up an Etsy shop CourtneyJoyDesigns and is finding so much joy in living out her passion of art and encouraging others! Her relationship to God is her solid foundation, and puns, coffee, and potatoes make life something special. 


PS – Don’t miss a thing with this series! Follow along on Facebook and Instagram to catch each of the upcoming stories! I absolutely LOVE connecting with each of you! 

PPS – If you’re ever looking for a devotional on living life while in a waiting season, check out the devotional I co-authored called In the Wait’!

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PPPS – Check out the other contributions from this series, including What It’s Like: to experience multiple IVF cyclesraise a child with special needsuse an egg donorbe a DIY-er and home style blogger , be a NICU nurse,  Live fully in singleness while still hoping for marriagesuffer with endometriosis. experience depressionstart a company, have a micro preemie,  lose a parent, be childless not by choice, have a spouse with a chronic illnessfund raise for fertility treatments, have a traumatic birthing experience, take a natural route with infertility,  be on a reality show, go through the adoption process, have male factor infertility,be a stay at home mom, be an entertainer,  be given a Down syndrome diagnosis for your child , experience multiple miscarriages, have a surrogate, experience a late pregnancy stillbirth, be a police officers wife, be a working mom , be a breastfeeding mother, have weight loss surgerydonate and adopt an embryo,  be on a reality show, go through the fostering process, throw a themed dinner party , have PCOS, have had a cancer diagnosis, and be a high school teacherStay tuned for many other amazing topics to come every Tuesday and Friday here!

quiet time tips.

As I have transitioned into motherhood, I have realized that my quiet times look a lot different now then they used to. Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful that my time is more interrupted by toddler needs, but I have had to readjust what my time with Jesus looks like in this new season.

Before K & L arrived, I was able to spend a luxurious amount of time in the Word. Journaling, praying, worshiping, doodling, reading. It filled my soul and my relationship with Him was my saving grace in surviving infertility and pregnancy loss.

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I recently was asked to share a bit in a small group about how my quiet times have changed now that I am in the chaotic throws of motherhood and while none of this is likely new information to you, it was helpful to remind myself of how accessible God is and how quiet time doesn’t have to look a perfect way for it to be valuable. So, I thought I would share some thoughts with you below!

First of all, keep in mind, if you are a believer, then you are in a personal relationship with God. Key word – relationship! This isn’t a set of rules to follow or things to check off your list …. it’s about a partnership, an intimate friendship, and getting to know one another. Quiet time, prayer, Bible reading … it’s all part of growing that relationship. Relationships aren’t one sided. You don’t meet your spouse at the alter, get married, and then never really talk again. If you only checked in with your spouse on Sunday’s, you would be missing out on so much of the intimacy that makes marriage what it is! If you only talk about big picture things, you miss out on enjoying the small details of life with your partner. Jesus wants to engulf you with His love and presence and we have to slow down enough to meet Him.

Quiet Time – this is going to look different in different seasons. For me right now, my quiet time is scattered throughout the day. I do wake up early, before the kiddos, and intentionally try to start my day with some time in the Word.

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My overall goals that help me with consistency and follow through:

  • Pick a place – free from distractions, comfortable, have my Bible, journal, book, etc already waiting there for me.
  • Schedule the time – will seem like a sacrifice at first, start with 10-15 minutes. It doesn’t have to be a HUGE chunk of time. I found when I put the pressure on to make it a big ordeal, it didn’t happen. And while it feels like a sacrifice at first, you will start to see how filled you are afterwards and you will crave this time of peace and community with Him!
  • Figure out your format and activities. If I only have a short time, I always start in the Word. Pick a Bible verse (YouVersion has a great verse of the day!), or read a chapter from a book in the Bible. If you have more time, include prayer, read a page or two from a Christian growth book, or journal. (I like to write out my prayers because it keeps me focused!). I really like resources like Lara Casey’s Write the Word. Change things up! Some days it sitting in silence listening to worship music. Other days its Bible journaling a verse that I am meditating on. It’s okay to change it from day to day.
  • Be disciplined, even when you don’t feel like it. If you miss your morning time, make it up in the evening. This will help you form the habit and the habit will help you form the relationship.

Devotionals I really like:

Books:

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Quiet Time Journals and Prayer Resources:

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image from pinterest

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Online Tools + Apps:

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Favorite Bibles

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Around the House:

At the end of the day, I find myself doing a little of all throughout the day. I spend time memorizing a verse over bottle washing. I turn on worship music and we sing as we drive. I pray, out loud, with the kids as we change diapers for the names of the people we have posted about the changing table. I spend time in the morning reading the daily devotional in bed from Proverbs 31, or pressing play on an audio reading of scripture from my Bible app while throwing on my makeup. I close my eyes in the bathtub and sit in silence and listen to Him, not expecting to hear an audible voice, but instead a prompting that isn’t from me. I keep a prayer journal in my purse and write down a request a friend shares with me over coffee or pull it out when in a long Starbucks line.

I personally like mornings best for my study time, but that’s because I am too tired by the end of the night to really engage. Others love nighttime devotional time because it gets their mind refocused before they go to sleep. Find what works for you and then just do it.

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Am I perfect with this? NO! I get in slumps and bad habits and hit snooze instead of getting up. However, I notice a significant difference in everything when I am making Christ my priority and investing in our relationship. It’s a game changer. 

The quote that sticks out to me as I write this today is “If Satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.” I really truly believe that the devil loves to thrive on our busyness and throws us off track by making us believe we don’t have time to invest in Christ daily. Don’t miss out friends – don’t miss out on the richness that comes with pressing pause, even in the midst of a full-time job, or motherhood, or starting a business. Jesus has so much more for you than what we try to fill our lives with.

Sound off in the comments below! What helps you stay consistent and grow your relationship with Jesus during the week? New ideas are always welcome!!!!

XO!

Chelsea

the hope narrative: i am.

This past weekend I was invited down to Baton Rogue, Louisiana to speak at the Hope Narrative conference put on by Sarah’s Laughter. It was an incredible honor to stand in front of men and women, all who are experiencing infertility in some way, and share our story. The process of writing this hour-long keynote was one gigantic season of wrestling for me. What did God want me to say? What was I supposed to leave them with to encourage them? Even more, it required me stepping back into deep, murky, thick emotions of infertility.

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God came through, as He always does, and gave me words that weren’t my own, and our time together was so special. And, because I know not all of you could travel to Louisiana this weekend, I wanted to share some excerpts here. Maybe it’ll just be this post, maybe more will show up again. But I pray that as you read it, God will meet you and remind you of His gentle and powerful love for you.

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So jump right in to the middle of my talk here and I pray that you take something away and He meets you in a personal and powerful way.

xo,

Chelsea


“God’s silence doesn’t equal His absence.

This is a powerful truth. Because so often we equate answers with presence, don’t we? Yet the truth remains that even in the darkest valley and the most tragic times, God hasn’t abandoned us. In fact, in order for us to truly realize that God is enough, I believe we have to  live through a season where God is all we have, where His presence is all we are clinging to. Tragedy is unexplainable. I can’t understand why infertility exists or miscarriages happen. I don’t know why adoptions fail, transfers turn out negative, and babies are born without breathe. I don’t know why God doesn’t come through with our every request, however, I know that God is doing something great even when it doesn’t feel like it.

In order to walk away with our burdens eased today, we need to first start at the beginning and that’s with understanding who God is.

God is capable, He cares, and He is willing.

I can tell you those words but in order for them to take root, we have to know His character. And then we have to make an intentional choice to believe His character and His words. We have this book, the Bible, and the whole thing is a documented display of his character and yet we still tend to question who He is and what He is capable of doing. I know I do. I read stories of women like Sarah and Hannah and Elizabeth; women who were barren and felt broken and yet God came through at exactly the right time in a glorifying way. And still, I read these stories and I find myself a day later wondering if God really is capable, caring and willing.

This is what God taught me to do when I started to doubt His goodness – make a tangible list of His character. It’s quite simple. I make these lists anywhere. There’s no shame in list writing in a coffee shop or in a bathtub. I simply close my eyes and ask, God who do YOU say you are? What are the traits I need to be reminded of today?

And I write who God is. And I’m going to pause a second here and say some of these traits out loud to you right now because I always need a refresher. And I encourage you to either close your eyes for a second as I say them or just sit back and listen, but these are just some of the characteristics of God, that He would remind me of over and over and over again when I doubted how capable, caring, and willing He was.

God is compassionate. He is loving. He is caring, He is merciful. God is faithful. He is capable. He is our deliverer. He is powerful. He is righteous. He is holy, He is just. He is omnipresent and He is our Healer. God is sovereign. He is wise. He is full of grace. He is our comforter, He is our intercessor, He is our Father. He is the beginning of our story and the end of our story. He is unchangeable. He is the light in the darkness. He is all-powerful. He never abandons us. He is trustworthy. He is our Redeemer.

I find when I write these words out, my mind shifts. You see, in the long battle of infertility, it is easy to come to conclusions about God because of how we feel. But when we listen to these truths about Him – and they are all based on scripture! – we choose to believe Him over emotions.

Think about it. If we understood everything completely and fully, we wouldn’t need faith would we? If God told us exactly how our journey would end, what our families would look like, what job we would have, how our bank account would end up, which house we would live in, there would be no need for faith! Faith and trust must emerge out of our love for God, not out of obligation, and not because we feel we have no choice. We have to choose to faith over doubt.

So, who does God say He is? Outside that list we just read, I feel like there are two important traits to outline:

The first is this:

1 – He is who He says He is. God uses the phrase “I am who I am” to Moses in Exodus 3 and in the context of the passage, He is telling Moses He would be who they needed Him to be. Isn’t that a hope-filled promise? God will be everything we need Him to be. He is fully capable of filling up every inch of our heart. He reveals Himself in this name. He reveals His love for us, His ability to provide us strength and peace and guidance. He teaches us that no matter what circumstance comes our way, He will be there for us and He will be our I am. I am who I am. My character doesn’t change. I am who you need me to be.

The second trait is the fact that He is our comforter.

A handful of years back, I was on vacation, floating in a pool, reading, when the heavy emotions of infertility started to swirl. Everywhere I looked, there were children and families. I watched a mom rubbing down her little boy with sunscreen. I watched a dad wrestle the arm floaties on his toddler. I watched a set of grandparents taking a hundred pictures. I watched as a mom floated by with her tiny baby, whispering words to him and making him giggle as he splashed gently. And as I watched, I felt so sad. Broken. Lonely. Grief-stricken.

I suddenly felt hot from the inside. My heart felt like it was crying crocodile tears. I was frozen. The sadness started to creep from my heart up my neck, tightening. I felt so empty. I couldn’t process the sudden sadness.

A few hours later I found myself lying down in the spa area with a cool washcloth over my face, trying to sort out all my emotions. And as I lay there, the tears finally burst through, like a dam, flooding my washcloth and speaking words of grief to my Father that only tears could. I felt like I was being covered in a physical blanket of sadness and sorrow.

I kept praying it would go away. And then God stopped me, and He reminded me in that gentle, soothing way only He can, that it’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to want a family and to wonder when it’s going to happen. It’s okay to grieve the loss of dreams and wonder what the purpose of this is. It’s okay to acknowledge there’s a gigantic gaping hole in our heart. God is big enough for our sadness.

It was in that moment I felt like God stepped into my blanket of sorrow and closed both of us back up in it. He wanted me to acknowledge my emotions with Him by my side. He wanted to validate my feelings were okay.

You see, God is big enough for your questions. He is big enough to hold you close when you are crying and big enough for your dreams. I know it’s hard. I know it really doesn’t get easier. I encourage you to invite God into your pain. He is our comforter. He is the one who created us, which means He’s the only One who REALLY knows how to calm our hearts.  

I wish I could promise you that it will all turn out okay in the end. I wish God would give you a timeline so that you knew how to handle another month with a negative test. And while I can’t do that, what I can do is reassure you that God is still in this heartache with you.

Each and every day, you are learning in a painstaking way, that it’s possible to experience joy that isn’t dependent on your circumstances. Here’s a promise: God is bigger than infertility. God knows exactly how your heart is feeling. I mentioned before how God used women struggling with infertility all throughout the Bible in BIG ways. Remember Hannah? 1 Samuel 1 shares her brokenness over the fact that her womb was closed, and yet God answered her prayers in His timing and Samuel was born. Remember Elizabeth and Zechariah? Luke 1 outlines the fact that they were barren, and yet God proved He was bigger than infertility and John the Baptist was born, at precisely the right time. These are just two examples where God reminds us that infertility isn’t without purpose.

Jesus is in the business of taking our brokenness, our pain, our past, our tears, and holding it up to Satan’s face and saying “Look at this. You did this. But look at this beautiful thing we are doing with it. It’s being redeemed.”

That gives me goosebumps. We have Jesus, our comforter, on our team, taking broken pieces and making them whole.

It’s hard to let Him be our comforter isn’t it? Because often times we want tangible comfort. When something bad happens to us, or our days are hard, or our worlds are rocked with tragedy, we find ourselves running to people first or posting it on social media. We crave this verbal comfort instead of turning to Jesus first and sitting in His presence and letting Him calm us with His words. Sometimes the reason we aren’t getting the comfort we are looking for is because we are not willing to pause and wait long enough for God to comfort us Himself.

The writer of Psalm 46:10 quotes God and says “Be still and know that I am God.”

Be still my daughter, and know that I am your comforter. Allow me to comfort you. Allow me to speak life into your broken heart. Allow me respond….


And here’s a few pictures of the fun weekend of community and friendships!

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A handful of women came a night early for a special meet and greet!

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