house for sale.

June 27, 2016June 27, 201634 Comments

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I was stirring my coffee when my friend asked the question: “So how are you really right now?”

With the buzz of steaming milk and brewing espresso around me, I admitted my heart’s been a little weary. I touched on how 7 pregnancy announcements from good friends in 3 days drained me a bit. I tried to explain that while my heart was overjoyed for them, it made me a bit reflective of my own journey, which can be a hard, emotional path for me to walk down sometimes.

I could see in her eyes, as someone who doesn’t struggle with infertility, that she couldn’t quite grasp how someone could be happy for someone else but sad for themselves.

And that’s when this example hit me.

Let’s pretend that you and your spouse have decided it’s time to move from your small apartment. It’s time to expand! It’s not necessarily that you don’t like your current place, but you feel ready to embark into a new neighborhood, have the chance to mow a lawn, use a driveway, and have a little more space.

So you celebrate this big decision! You are going to sell your house! You tell your friends, you have a celebratory glass of champagne and list it. It’s time to sell!

Hmmmm. A few days, weeks, months pass. Why isn’t your house selling? You try to stay positive. Oh it takes time! You just have to wait for the perfect buyer! It can take couples almost a year before their house sells! Take a vacation – then it might sell!

In the meantime, friends around you decide they too want to sell their house and move. And you watch and celebrate as they immediately find buyers. It was our first showing! We hadn’t even listed it yet! A friend of a friend asked to buy our house! In fact, some of your friends who didn’t even take care of their apartment sell it right away. Huh?

What is going on, you asked yourselves. You paint the walls, freshen up the tile, and replace the old floors. And yet, months pass by and still, no buyers. Multiple showings, the promise of hope with each one, but a firm and audible NO after every one.

In the meantime, you’re invited to house warming party after house warming party to celebrate your friend’s new home. You are thrilled for them! What a beautiful new kitchen! Lawn! Bathroom! Is that a walk-in closet?? And you wonder what is wrong with our apartment??? You bring the wine, send the congratulations card, help move the boxes, all while dusting off your “for sale” sign. You pack away the towels you bought for a new bathroom. It hurts too much to look at them each day.

Do we try to get used to staying here forever? You begin to ask yourselves how you should approach this limbo. What does the future look like? Do you apply for that new position knowing it would be across town, near the city you want to move to? Do you redecorate the space and plan to stay there? Oh how your hearts yearn to be in a new place – and yet still, all the showings result in nothing. No. No. No. No. No. No.

So you hire a new realtor. The one who sold your friends house in just 1 day! And your heart breaks as he tells you that you may never sell your home. You see, because there’s this one part of the inside of a wall that is damaged. It’s not really your fault, but it’s your home and because of it, it may be a little harder to sell it.

How did I not know? What can we do to improve our chances?! He provides you with a list of things to do and you eagerly dive into them. You replace the trim, sweat over refinishing your floors; exhaust yourself with tearing out the old carpet. Still – nothing.

Meanwhile, you get the calls from your friends, We’re moving! We sold our house! It’s our 4^th home in 3 years! And your feelings get hurt as some of your friends pull back from you as they are afraid to tell you they sold their house too. You find out when you get their Christmas card in the mailing with a preprinted announcement. Why didn’t they tell us? And yet still, you celebrate their new adventure, move the boxes, ‘like’ the Facebook announcement and wonder if you should take your house off the market. After all, it’s been 3 years.

Then 4 years. More announcements, more moves.

Then it’s been 5 years. You find some friends who too have a hard time selling their house, are stuck in limbo desiring a neighborhood, a closet, a stove with more than 2 burners, a chance to feel at home where they feel called. You relate to one another’s questions and empathize when yet another potential buyer decides to pass. Another lost chance, I am so sorry.

Then those friends who once understood, begin to sell their houses. More celebrations! And the conversations shift from questioning why your house can’t sell, to the frustrations of picking out paint colors for the new living room or the cost of the movers. They forgot what it’s like, you think. Then you no longer get together. I am sorry, I have a house now. There’s so much to do! More dusting, a garden to tend to, bathrooms to clean. Maybe when the house gets a little older.

And still every single morning you wake up, make your bed, clean the house, waiting for the moment you get a call about a showing. You can’t escape the fact that your house is for sale. It’s part of your daily life, reminders everywhere. The lockbox, the sign, the calls. Every day you are faced with the desires to hear the words “you’ve sold your house!”.

6 years pass. You switch realtors again, are given a dash of hope that this is the one! In fact, by this point you’ve had 7 offers on your home, but all of them have fallen through. It’s just been bad luck. This happens to many couples. There must have been a bank loan defect. Unpack your boxes, not this time. Don’t lose the faith!

More moving announcements from friends. We weren’t even thinking about moving but someone came to our door and offered us over market price for our house. And then we got an amazing deal on a new house – in the last lot of the neighborhood you were looking at! What are the chances? We were so surprised!

Housewarming party. Wine. Feelings of defeat. Questions. Did we misunderstand our calling to move? Everyone else thinks we are crazy, yet we continue to feel led is to sell this house. What do we do?

And now here you sit – with 7 more offers sitting on your home and you think this could be it and you are terrified. Everyone around is asking you aren’t you so excited? And while, yes, you are, the truth is you’ve been here before. You’ve had the offers and they’ve all fallen through. You’re hesitant to get your hopes up based on these new offers, knowing what happened last time. And so you smile, nod, and pray harder than ever that one of these offers takes. Because you don’t know if your heart can handle any more. Most days you want to rip down the ‘For Sale’ sign, ignore the aches in your heart, and chuck the lockbox in a volcano. You are now known as the couple who has always had their house up for sale.

Just be thankful you have a house to live in! Everyone around you, many who just sold their house, says to you, as if you aren’t thankful for your apartment. You want shout back that you are thankful, you just hate living in limbo, are struggling to figure out what your future looks like, and that you can’t ignore that nagging longing to become new-home owners.

And still you wait, feeling foolish about the day you drank champagne and told everyone you were going to sell your house. You never expected this.

You get the picture. And while this example may seem silly, can you only imagine having your house for sale for YEARS? I get exhausted just thinking about it. And, oh friends, if only infertility were this kind of exhausting.

With infertility, you take these exhausted, confused emotions and add in the immense deep rooted desire to be parents – moms and dads– and combine it with mind altering hormones, emotions, surgeries, and real life dollars. Every month offers hope that everything might change and when it doesn’t, you have to reprocess what you’re going to do next. Did you hear God right? Why isn’t He moving?

So while your heart is so thrilled for the others in your life who move onto the next stage – first, second, third pregnancies – it’s still very real there will be emotional struggles involved. With every announcement, pregnancy related conversation, baby shower and tiny babies around, it reminds you of the current state of limbo you are in. And with God-given strength, you celebrate the answered prayers, clinging to the hope that next time it might be you, and rejoice that God gave them a miracle. And it’s okay if you still wonder why not me?

Friends, I don’t know why your baby hasn’t come yet. I don’t understand why a 15-year old accidentally becomes pregnant and you can’t get a positive test to save your life. I wish I understood all the specifics. But here’s what I do know – God knows why. And while that can be hard to understand most days, it offers reassurance that we don’t have to be the ones understanding the ‘whys’. We just have to continue to trust the One who does.

I wrote these words in In the Wait and needed to be reminded of them today: “God is not early or late with His timing. Instead, He is right on cue, creating “Ah-ha!” moments when the answers prayers finally come. Yes, it may look different than we expect it to, but we know He will pull through. Scripture reminds us that we can trust Him to stay true to His Word, character and promises. His love is always present. Breathe out a deep sigh with me today and rest assured knowing He is at work, even when we don’t see it.”

I know it’s tiring my sweet friend. But make that bed one more day, accept one more showing, and continue to communicate with the Lord. You never know when you are going to wake up and have your whole life change in one moment. That day of answered prayer is worth the fight.

Lord, I pray for each woman reading this today who understand what it’s like to be stuck waiting. I pray that you renew our strength, our minds, and replenish our weary souls as we wait. We trust that you have the perfect plan for our lives and we ask that you would help strengthen us to continue to celebrate the victories and answers to prayer that you are providing to those around us. Jesus, we simply need more of you to help lead us into the perfect path for our lives. Amen

*photo from weheartit.com

devotional + small group opportunity.

January 5, 201611 Comments

2016 really is here, isn’t it!? With it comes so many great resolutions, and for me, like many, it’s about nailing down a consistent devotional time each day and diving into His word more. Do you need a little accountability like I do? Or are you searching for a devotional to kick off the year with? I’d love to invite you to join our online In the Wait Small Group kicking off on January 17th! We just wrapped up our first online session in December with over 170 ladies and it was so powerful and encouraging – I know this next session won’t disappoint! This study is more than just a book – it’s an interactive devotional that gives you a chance to apply His Word to YOUR own season of waiting, whatever that may be, and process through how to apply what you are learning to your life.

So, what do you need to know if you are interested?

All you need is a copy of In the Wait + a pen + access to a Bible (hello YouVersion app!). You will be emailed the week of launch with all the joining details. The group itself is “secret” through Facebook.
If you don’t already own a copy, you can purchase one here: http://www.hollyholtdesign.com/shop/in-the-wait-6-week-bible-study (You still have time to order and get it before the group starts! Copies are going fast so grab yours today!)
Already have your book and want to make sure you are on the invite email list? CLICK HERE to add your name to the email invite list.
Want to invite a friend to join you in the study? CLICK HERE to send a personalized invitation to a friend!

I have loved being a part of this study. It has really transformed my heart and spiritual life, specifically as to how to live in a season of waiting with purpose. I would LOVE to have you join us if you are interested! I adore seeing what God has been teaching every woman who has gone through the study with us already online or on their own. Thanks for posting your pictures and sharing what God is teaching you! Here are some of my favorite picture’s you’ve shared on Instagram so far:

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Note: after this January session, there likely won’t be another online group till fall so don’t miss out if you are interested! Questions? Fire away below and I will get right back to you!

With that said, friends, 2016 really is here. I am working away on nailing down my Word of the Year, wrapping up what I took away from 2015, and sharing more about what’s swimming around in this brain of mine. I am excited to reestablish the rhythm and routine that January holds and get back into a good blogging pattern. So stay tuned for all the fun to come this month. :) Have a great day!

online ‘in the wait’ community group.

October 18, 2015October 18, 20157 Comments

Happy Sunday friends! I am excited to share with you that an awesome new part of the In the Wait study is coming soon – an online community small group! Yes, that’s right! So many of you have asked for ways to connect with other women doing the study and so that’s just what we are creating!

Starting on November 8^th and going until December 19^th, those who have a copy of In the Wait will receive an invitation to a secret online Facebook group. Each day there, me and another one of the book’s authors, Holly, will help to lead conversation and discussion about that days devotional. This will give you and the other women in the group a place to start sharing, opening up, and talking about what you are learning.

The purpose of this group is to build community, help create accountability, encourage you right where you’re at today, and provide you with a safe place to process through what God is teaching you. All women, in all different seasons of waiting, of all ages, who have the book, are invited to join! And the timing of this study is perfect. It will usher in some daily quiet time during the busy holiday seasons and into advent. I truly believe God is going to move and stir in your heart as you continue to press forward into His.

If you are sitting there with your book in hand, thinking, I already started mine!, please, continue on! We would love for you to still join the group and go through with us what you learned! If you have been waiting for the right time to start it, perhaps November 8^th is it! If you haven’t yet ordered a copy, but are interested in joining this, I will share below all of the details on how to order (plus a limited promo code to get 10% off!).

If this is the first time you are reading about the In the Wait devotional, you should know it talks to women like you and me, women whose lives seem to weave in and out of seasons of waiting. It could be an exciting wait, like for a wedding day to arrive or a new house to close; a mildly annoying wait, like waiting for the end of a school semester or working to pay off a small tedious loan; or, chances are, it’s a hard, stressful painful wait. Family health scares, infertility issues, wondering if you will ever find someone to marry, heart-wrenching marriage battles, or chronic loneliness. The reality is, seasons of wait have the potential to take our minds hostage and leave us exhausted and burnt out, feeling like we are living life in one big transition moment.

Our goal for this study is to show that we can take these seasons of waiting – exciting, easy, hard and painful ones – and grow closer to God in them. It is possible to live life FULLY while being in an unknown season. Some of you have asked what the book is like on the inside and how it works. Here’s a sneak peek at the beginning pages that explain what you need and how the days are broken up!

So, with that said, join us for this online community group starting November 8^th! Pray about it and see if God is nudging you to take this step towards Him. If you are reading this and don’t have a copy but want to take part of growing your relationship with Jesus during your season of waiting, you can order your copy below. Shipping is FAST and, perhaps you want to gather up a few of your friends and go through it together. I find that having others in my life going through something with me is so helpful. (Orders over $50 in the US are FREE shipping!).

Even better, for ONE WEEK ONLY, if you use the promo code TRIALSBRINGJOY at the checkout, you will receive 10% off your book order! YAY! Also, I am running a giveaway over on Instagram for a free copy and if you win it and have already purchased the book this week; your order will simply be refunded. I wouldn’t delay on ordering if you want in since supplies are limited and going fast! (You can find me and details for the giveaway over at @Chels819).

Click here to order: http://www.hollyholtdesign.com/shop/in-the-wait-6-week-bible-study

If this is something you are excited about, help us spread the word about this community group – repost this image on Instagram or any other social media website to help spread the word.

That’s all! I’m so excited to engage with each of you and chat about our seasons of waiting. God has BIG things in store for each one of us as we push past the worried, anxious and overwhelmed season of waiting. With Him, we can claim victory and find a joy-filled life no matter what our circumstances are.

guest post: not just a beauty blogger.

September 22, 20152 Comments

Happy Tuesday friends! I am excited to share with you a guest post I wrote over at Not Just A Beauty Blogger today! I connected with Nikol several months back (you will love her!) and am honored at her invitation to share with her readers. The post is about how I have been learning to wait with God and not just waiting for God, including some practical tips on what that means for me. I hope you will pop on over and check it out!

Click Here to Read

Until next time ….

the hallway.

August 24, 2015August 24, 201520 Comments

A few years back, my mom gave me this wooden sign that now sits by my kitchen sink: “Until God opens the next door, praise Him in the hallway”. It’s become a favorite sign for me to read on a daily basis while I’m washing dishes and I routinely ponder what it looks like in my life.

I envision a long hallway with a locked door at the end. Have you ever stood in that hall with me? Trying to open a door that doesn’t seem to be budging? Perhaps you can relate in the desire to have a baby. Or maybe on the other side of the door is the spouse you’ve been praying for or the job promotion you deserve. Whatever it is, you can see it – some days you feel like the doorknob is wiggling, and yet, you can’t get in the door. So in the hallway we sit.

I turned 30 last week. T H I R T Y. At first I was nervous about entering this new decade, the one that now requires me to check off a new age bracket, start seriously thinking about eye cream and even renew my driver’s license. Thirty.

I didn’t anticipate it, but guess what? I love being 30. Like, L-O-V-E it. It seems crazy that an age can bring with it such a wave of contentment but I am so fully embracing this new decade that it scares me a little. I am doing this. I am being and enjoying life, with all its unknowns, even here in the hallway. Perhaps I am still running off of birthday celebration fumes, the aftertaste of parties and cards and hugs. But it feels deeper than that – it feels like a fresh start.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 says “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” Our speaking pastor, Jason Strand, mentioned it yesterday in his sermon and I absolutely loved what he said after: “You don’t need to be thankful FOR all circumstances; you need to be thankful IN all circumstances.”

You know what that means? We don’t need to be thankful for the hallways – infertility, singleness, job loss, health issues … but we do need to be thankful IN the hallways. There’s a big difference there! Being thankful in the hallway starts with our attitudes, how we view our circumstances, and what we choose to focus on. Our pastor continued by saying “Happiness isn’t getting what you want; happiness is enjoying what God has given you.”

So good.

What is your hallway today? And how are you learning to embrace it and find joy in it? I promise, no matter how lost we feel, God sees us there in the hallway. We haven’t gotten stuck in a maze and disappeared from His sight. Maybe that locked door isn’t opening anytime in the near future. Or perhaps it never opens but another one in the hall does. Or maybe, it opens tomorrow. Either way, we can’t waste today forgetting that it’s possible to praise Him in the hallways.

Now a note to myself:

Dear Future Chelsea, remember this moment. Remember the contentment you have in the hallway. Don’t lose sight on His goodness as you wait. Keep your perspective upward and when you slip, which will inevitably happen because you’re human (and hormonal), come back to Him and keep praising Him. He hasn’t let you down and He won’t start now.

Love, 30 years + 5 days old Chelsea

Have you gotten a copy of the In The Wait devotional book yet? Don’t miss your chance! Preorders close THIS Wednesday and then the book won’t be available for purchase again until September 14^th. Plus, you get freebies if you order now! Check out this post for all the details + your chance to order.

Interested in hearing Pastor Strand’s entire message? Click here to listen.

in the wait.

August 21, 201511 Comments

IT’S HERRRRRE! Oh, guys, God is so good! I am so excited to share with you that the In The Wait devotional has officially launched for preorder sales!

Let’s back up! Did you know that I have been part of an amazing team of women – all talented, godly, fantastic writers – who have been able (through God’s grace) put into words what we have been learning through the seasons of waits life has to offer. If you are anything like me, you know that our lives seem to weave in and out of these seasons. Waiting for a spouse, kids, that right job opportunity. Waiting for your business to launch or your husband’s cancer to go into remission. It may be a an exciting wait! The wedding day is drawing near, your book is launching, you’re about ready to close on your new house! Perhaps it’s an mildy annoying season, like waiting for the end of a school semester or working to pay off a small, but tedious loan. More possibly yet, it’s a hard, stressful, painful one, wondering if your child’s health will ever improve, struggling through heart wrenching marital issues or dealing with infertility or loneliness. The reality is, seasons of wait have the potential to take our minds hostage and leave us exhausted and burnt out, feeling like we are living life in one big transition moment.

Our goal in writing this study is to show that it is possible to take these seasons of waiting – exciting, easy, hard and painful ones – and grow closer to God in them. It is possible to live life FULLY while being in an unknown season. Each of the 5 contributing writers, myself included, have shared with you our own intimate stories, lessons we have learned and are learning, and Godly wisdom that we are taking away. We want to equip YOU to grow with us!

This is an interactive devotional, meaning you get to participate through guided journaling (or doodling!) and prompted reflections on your own wait. You’ll be in the Word regularly, but don’t be intimated, you don’t need to be a Biblical scholar to go through it. All you need is a Bible (or a free Bible app!) and a pen. Then join us for 6-weeks as we partner with God to grow in the wait.

Friends, this is all God. I re-read the words of each of these days and it’s so encouraging to my heart. We give Him ALL the glory for helping us pour our hearts into these pages. What has been sealed up in this 240+ page book is nothing short of Him.

So now what? Well, if you order before August 26th, you will get included for FREE:

A Small Group Study Companion PDF
In The Wait Bookmark
In The Wait Scripture Cards Set
4x6in Psalm 27:14 Print + Thank You Card

These freebies are for a limited time and ONLY if you preorder by August 26th. Then sales will halt briefly until the official launch on September 14th. (No more freebies after that!) If you order during the preorder, your book will ship on or before September 8th, which means you will get it in your hands soon! YAY!

To be clear, this isn’t a devotional written for women struggling with infertility, although my story certainly is woven through the pages I have written. Instead, its for women of all ages who want to build a strong relationship with the Lord. Who find themselves worried or anxious, feeling overwhelmed in their current season. It’s for YOU, someone who dreams of claiming victory and living a joy-filled life no matter what your circumstances are.

I ask and pray that you pause today and see if this is something that God wants you to be a part of. I would love NOTHING more than to be able to watch others grow in their relationship with the Lord during their own seasons of waiting. I know I certainly have a lot more growth to do and am excited to re-dive into these pages with each of you!

So what are you waiting for? Hop on over to the book’s preorder page and order now! It’s $20 a book (well worth it for over 240 pages of devotional content and application questions!) PLUS all the freebies if you order before 8/26. Shipping is $5.95 in the US OR you can order a few copies and get FREE shipping (on all orders over $50). Know a friend that may want to journey through it with you? Or two? Accountability is never a bad thing! :)

Click here to pre-order: http://www.hollyholtdesign.com/shop/in-the-wait-6-week-bible-study-preorder

Thank you all – for your support, for your prayers, for your part in my own journey that has lead me to get on my knees and write out His truths. He provides us SO much power. I can’t wait to see what He has in store for you! Much love!

Want to take it a step further? Share this post with the women in your life who may want to preorder and be encouraged in their own spiritual walks! God is so good and faithful and we trust He will bring this into the hands of just the right women. Share on social media using #InTheWaitStudy!