october 15 – Trials Bring Joy

Today is such a special day to me. Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Today connects so many people together in one beautiful, special day of remembrance. Today we gather together those who are grieving, those who are supporting and those who love, and we remember the too-short lives of lost babies and infants, all while spreading awareness, hope and compassion.

I wrote these words last year and want to share them again this year:

So often we comfort widows, cancer victims, and orphans – all who are beautifully deserving of love and care. But more often than not, there is a group of people who suffer without anyone around them even knowing, ashamed to speak of the sadness that they feel, stripped of the public title of parents or saddened to have other children who will never know they had another sibling. The New York Times last year said “Unless you wear a T-shirt emblazoned with your children’s names or tattoo them on your wrist, you rarely speak their names aloud no matter how much you need or want to tell others. And for women who have struggled with pregnancy loss, there seems even less place to mention the love they feel for babies they will never have.”

There is a special way to offer support tonight, to a community of men and women, moms and dads, people just like you. Tonight from 7:00 – 8:00 pm, in all time zones around the world, you can light a candle to remember the babies who have been lost from miscarriages, ectopic and molar pregnancies, born stillborn or lost to infant death. By keeping your candle lit for an hour, it creates a “wave of light” across the world and is a beautiful, touching, moving tribute to the families who have suffered. It’s not an image that will likely ever be seen, but if you are home tonight, even if it’s not at 7 pm, please, light a candle for those who have lost their precious babies. It would mean more to me, and others like me, than you could ever imagine.

Each family’s pain is unique. Each life, no matter how short, was meaningful and special. 4 weeks, 40 weeks, 4 hours old, 4 days old. Each life creates a ring of love around the parents hearts, changing us, reminding us all of the precious gift of life. So again, I humbly ask you, please, light a candle with me tonight, even if you have not lost a baby. The support and opportunity to spread love and compassion means so much.

I love seeing the pictures that you text, post, tag me in and email. Truthfully, it’s like a small celebration for the 3 babies we lost to miscarriage and every embryo God has created, and every one we had transferred. We fell head over heels with each of these little lives and to know that others are thinking of them and others like them tonight brings tears to my eyes typing this. Thank you for helping us honor their short lives tonight.

Can I humbly ask you to take this one step further? If you are a friend, family member, blog follower, or have even just stumbled upon this post today, would you say a prayer for us tonight as you light your candle? Would you whisper up specific words for us, Josh and Chelsea, to our gracious Father on our behalf? Even in a 5 second prayer, there is power. We would be so appreciative and don’t take your offering lightly, as I know He doesn’t either. Thank you. So much.

To our own babies lost, oh sweet babies, I love you so much. Rarely does a day go by where I don’t think about what age you would be or what milestone you would be hitting. I daydream about what color your hair would have been – would you have had Mommy’s childhood ringlets? Would you have liked to read, color, make noises? What would you have thought about your fursister Cali? She would have loved you. What would your giggle have sounded like? Would “mama” or “dada” been your first words? My heart is with you little babes. You are never forgotten and are so treasured. I know I say this often, but I truly can’t wait for the day our family is reunited in heaven. I can’t wait to hug you all. I am so thankful that you are in the glorious presence of Someone who loves you even more than we do. Love, Mommy

Friends, today is a beautiful day of remembrance. I am so thankful this day exists. Thank you in advance for celebrating with us tonight. We love you all.

– Josh and Chelsea

There’s a Lumpy Rug day, a No Socks day, even a Talk Like a Pirate Day. The silly and humorous days that fall on the calendars bring laughter and create conversation. Then there are other days that we hear about that bring awareness, like today, which is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Let me preface this post by saying this day is not a day where we (generally speaking of those who have suffered a loss) are looking for pity. Today is not about getting sad looks or making you feel uncomfortable because you don’t know what to say. Today is about connecting together a community – those who are grieving and those who are simply supporting those who grieve – it’s about remembering the too-short lives of lost babies and infants and spreading love.

One of my favorite parts about today, other than the comfort that it offers and the community it builds, is that there is a way for each one of you to offer support. Tonight from 7:00 pm – 8:00 pm, in all time zones across the world, you can light a candle to remember the babies who have been lost from miscarriages, ectopic and molar pregnancies, born stillborn or lost to infant death. The lighting of these candles creates a “wave of light” across the world and is a beautiful, touching, moving tribute to the families who have suffered. It’s not an image that will likely ever be seen, but if you are home tonight, even if it’s not at 7 pm, light a candle for those who have lost their precious babies.

Each family’s pain is unique. Each life, no matter how short, was meaningful and special. To our own babies lost, I love and remember you often. I often wonder what milestone you would be hitting, what color your eyes would have been, how your laugh would have sounded. We have treasured every embryo created, prayed for every embryo transferred, and fell head over heels in love with each pregnancy we have experienced. I can’t wait for the day our family can be reunited in heaven.

Light a candle tonight, even and especially if you have not lost a baby. The support and opportunity to spread love and care means more than you will ever know. I’d love to see any pictures you take of your candle burning – feel free to email them to me at trialsbringjoy (at) gmail (dot) com.

Today is a beautiful day of remembrance. I am so thankful this day exists.