squawking.

Don’t you wish we had a Magic 8 ball that we could shake? One that would tell us our future, you know, for planning sake. Or perhaps God could rent a skywriter for the day and with smoke, transcribe the answers we are looking for in the sky.

I’m with you. I struggle when I feel a little restless, uncertain of what lies ahead, feeling naked with my plan stripped away from me. What’s next? I ask this question to God on repeat so much that I have started to sound like a talking, squawking parrot.

Have you been there too? Do you ever feel like a little kid sitting in the back of the parent’s car.

Are we there yet?

Are we there yet?

How about now?

Where are we going again?

How do we get there?

Are we there yet?

When are we turning? 

I am thankful that God’s attributes include compassion and patience, but I am sure at times He gets exasperated with me.

Child! Trust Me! I know where we are going. We aren’t there yet. Just stop talking for a minute and listen for Me to lead the way.

I was having this conversation with Him this morning when I flipped to my Jesus Calling devotional. I had to chuckle when I read the first line: “Trust Me enough to let things happen without striving to predict or control them.” Ahhhh, so this is where active trust comes in.

I’m in a season right now where I don’t know what’s ahead. My heart is torn between a lot of options for our future and I feel restless not knowing which path to choose. Even more frustrating is that God isn’t making any particular path very clear to me. Instead, He is answering back that I am supposed to wait in this season of unknown, intentionally NOT choosing one of the paths in front of me. That is hard for me! I don’t mind waiting with direction, but waiting without direction makes me itchy, clammy, and a little discouraged.

Yet, God has continued to reaffirm that this place is exactly where He wants me. He wants me to stop and learn to wait for Him, to trust Him enough to be okay without knowing the future or being able to control it.

I love Psalm 37:5: “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” It seems SO simple when we read it, but it’s not easy! But I know He honors this act of faith. The thought continues further down in verse 7a – “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him….”

Stillness is never easy. Being in a season of unknown can be exhausting, but I am learning that it’s only tiring when we allow it to be. I am wasting a lot of energy squawking like a bird and screaming like a child in the car when God is just telling me to be still. Stillness, in fact, should be the least exhausting action at all! Stillness involves rest, restoration, and listening. Even my vocal cords should be getting a break! (Imagine that!)

Psalm 38:9 seems to perfectly describe my prayer at the moment: “O Lord, all my longing is before You; my sighing is not hidden from You. My heart throbs; my strength fails me, and the light of my eyes – it also has gone from me.” Ever been there? Maybe you are there right now. Maybe you have vulnerably set your longing before Him. You know what? He hears our sighing. Perhaps your heart is throbbing and you feel so tired and weak. He is with us.

Read these words from Psalm 40 with me today (I found strength in reading them outloud) and claim the victory that He has promised!

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what He has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” (v.1-3)

Seasons change. Trusting in Him is not purposeless or pointless. He lifts us up. He steadies us. He fills our mouths with a new song. And in the end, as a result of our patience, our steadfastness, our trust, He is glorified! Doesn’t that make it all seem worth it?

Lord, help me to commit my ways to You. Help me to trust in your promise to act. Allow me to be still and wait patiently for you. Amen.

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18 thoughts on “squawking.

  1. cleavinghearts says:

    waiting is always hard as we are scared in case we have missed it. I feel that I am wasting time when I just wait the reality is that waiting on Him is he best use of our time, it is the place to be. Bless You

    • chels819 says:

      YES! I can relate with feeling like you are wasting time, yet after that time of waiting is over, I realize how valuable and UNWASTED (is that a word? Ha!) it was Thank you for your comment and sharing!

  2. Marixsa says:

    This post really showed me something very personal in the Ps. 40 you referenced and our current situation. Simply awesome when God ties things together for us in the most unlikely ways. Thanks for sharing :)

  3. Linda Deal says:

    I thought of this acronym when I read Ps. 37:7 in your post: STILL – Stop To Incline Listening Lobes. Okay, I admit the last word is corny, but when I think of lobes I think of my ears. It’s hard for me to be still before God, but I sense Him calling me to wait upon Him during this season of my life. I was just sharing this with a friend today, so the timing of your post is perfect. Thank you!

    • chels819 says:

      I love that acronym! STILL! So good and so much truth in there. Thank you for reminding me that it IS a calling to wait upon Him. Thank you for sharing with me!

  4. Danielle Cooke says:

    “He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God”… Ahh, could these words be any more true?! Praise glorifies Him so much more than “are we there yet?”. Praying for praise to be on my lips every time I lose trust in His plan, or desire for things to be in my timing rather than His.

    • chels819 says:

      I love what you wrote – “Praise glorifies Him so much more than “are we there yet?”” YES!!! Thank you for bringing that wisdom so clearly into my heart today! Praying for you Danielle!

  5. Ashley says:

    Your post is so beautiful. The Lord has brought me to this verse of waiting patiently for Him to act three times in the last two days! Also, the Psalm 40 verse has been one I’ve held onto during this struggle with infertility. It is so precious to see the Lord speak to me, and today he used you. Thank you for your openness.

    • chels819 says:

      Ahhh, I love how gently He speaks themes into our hearts and lives. Thank you for sharing. As I read your comment today, it reminded me how intimately involved He is in this struggle and how tender He brings reminders and reassurance into our life. Thank you for sharing with me. <3

    • Jen Falk says:

      Oh. My. Goodness. I’m in exactly the same place. After 2 IVF cycles and 2 miscarriages, I am so broken-hearted and all I want is light on the path forward. And I too was taken aback by Jesus Calling on 10/10! He’s lovingly teaching us to be still. It is so difficult but you’re not alone, friend.

      • chels819 says:

        Thank you for the reminder that I am not alone. You are right, it is difficult! But I am thankful that others understand it and push forward with me to hear Him in the midst of sorrow and hardship. Cling tight my friend!

  6. Shravanishukre says:

    Hi Chelsea..I felt as if I am looking at a mental mirror and saw reflection of my feelings ..of uncertainty. .fear..restlessness. ..hope and despair..strange but yes. .human emotions are the same..n also is our mental strength.. surprisingly..just read ur blog after praying today..and felt as if God gave me a new “song of hope” to sing..let us be still and reflect our faith n strength in our prayers… n god ll have to help us…someday.

  7. Jen Noonan says:

    “I am wasting a lot of energy squawking like a bird and screaming like a child in the car when God is just telling me to be still.”

    You couldn’t have said that better. A great many of us have been there. I admire your awareness of everything you described, and for making the choice to take a step back. This requires trust and determination. Wishing you well, as always!

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