pinterest – Trials Bring Joy

Happy Friday! First of all, I am so excited about all the participants sending over their information for the Lucky Sock Exchange! There have already been a few hundred women who have signed up and if you haven’t sent over your email yet, don’t delay! The deadline to get in is March 11^th.

Oh my word. I am wiped. This round of 2WW meds have kicked my butt. I have so many things I need to care about and can’t muster up a single ounce of energy to do anything. I’m currently on estrogen pills three times a day. Three times a day I swallow the infertile’s little blue pill and embrace all of the side effects that come with it. Mild nausea, bloating like you wouldn’t believe, boobs that have blown up like Heidi Montag’s. If I am inside my house (or my car), you can be assured that my bra is off. Then I throw in some progesterone, vaginal suppositories, and thanks to insurance being un-supportive of people (me) who can’t have babies, shove a $12 pill into me via a cheap plastic dispenser three times a day. As if that wasn’t enough, I also am getting nightly progesterone in oil (PIO) injections into the back of my hip/butt. I walk like I have pulled a muscle but it’s because I ache from the injection sites. This cycle, more than others, I have experienced extreme dizziness when standing and have learned this is a progesterone side effect. Oh what fun. And the tiredness, don’t even get me started. I feel like I am operating like a zombie. Natural hormones are tough to deal with, but synthetic hormones add a whole other level of struggles. Yozzers.

But you know what? I try to welcome it all. Because one day, SOME DAY, this will all be worth it. I know not everyone has the chance to try to start a family and so, because of that, I grimace and ice up my butt one more night, I swallow one more pill, and I pray to God that this will end sooner than later.

Do I sound like I am complaining? I am sorry, I am trying not to. My brain and body are just so tired, my fingers verbally vomiting what it’s been like to be me the last week/several years. I am writing this down because I want to remember it. I want to remember this. As hard as it is, there is beauty in the process and one day, my child(ren) will know exactly how much their mama wanted them.) Don’t get all excited by my side effects thinking THAT MUST MEAN YOU ARE PREGNANT! Nah, it really is just the side effects of my meds. So, if you are looking for me, I will be laying on my kitchen floor trying to muster up the energy to sit up and do the dishes. (And note, I am not looking for sympathy. I will be completely fine! I just can’t wait to one day feel all of these side effects because there is a baby in my tummy, not simply because I am trying to get a baby in my tummy.)

Thanks for engaging in my online therapy session. Now, without further ado, let’s dive right into Friday Favorites!

Favorite Replacement: I FINALLY got a new iPhone case (to replace a cheap and peeling one I bought a while ago), and love it! It’s nice having a hard case, a first for me as I have always had that flexible kind, plus the colors make me happy. Thanks Sister for helping me pick it out and encouraging me to finally get to the store to get one!

Favorite Pin: I love these kinds of drapey sweaters and am adoring the colors in this one. Can you tell I am ready for spring? Or maybe I am just envious of skin that isn’t translucent like mine. *gulp*

Favorite Family Show Down: We had a blast on Sunday playing cards with my family. We call it “poker” but all that means is we have a deck of cards and a pile of change, playing our own modifications of the game. I learned that I must be storing up all my luck for this IUI cycle but regardless, enjoyed sharing in a Sunday afternoon filled with laughs and shuffling.

Cali loves her auntie!

“whats going on outside guys?”

Favorite Kitchen Product: This indoor grill is just the best. If you live in a state that has 6 months of winter like I do, this is a lifesaver. Who wants to grill outside in the cold when you can turn your stove into a grill? I use my grill pan all the time and it’s worth the investment! (Or add it to your birthday or Christmas list like I did!) I have had mine for about 7 years and it’s still going strong. (There’s a flat side and a griddle side. It’s perfect for everything!)

(image found on Crate and Barrel’s website)

Favorite Bit of Drama: Oh the Women Tell All episode of the Bachelor. My head could barely handle the confrontation, TEARS, drama and awkward tension. Going into the finale, I am Team Whitney (for Chris). I love Becca and what she stands for, I really think she is a quality gal, but for Chris, I think Whitney will be a better long term match. That being said, who knows!!! Can’t wait for 3 hours of the most dramatic finale ever. (PS – Chris Harrison wrote a book? Was anyone else like this when he announced that?)

Favorite Date: We had a blast on Saturday night on a triple date with some of our close friends. Chili’s (hello chips and salsa! Swoon.) + bowling (this post-iui gal sat out on the actual bowling) made for a hilarious, laugh-filled evening. I am so thankful for friendships like this.

Favorite Make-over: Cali got her spring hair cut! She’s feeling so fly.

the morning of)

(after!)

Favorite Funnies:

There you have it! And can I note, since I originally started writing this post, I ran across this verse in Luke 9 (MSG): “Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how.” Bah. Leave it to God to remind me that suffering is okay and that I need to take my eyes off of the suffering itself and turn them to Him. Well there you have it folks, He is constantly speaking to us all in all our situations, we just have to make ourselves available to listen.

Until next time! XO!

Happy Friday friends! I don’t want to countdown days, but secretly I am excited that January is halfover. This month seems so long and gray and cold. I love the sparkle of February, the spring-breakness of March, the promise of spring in April … January is hard for me to get through. But the good news about today is that Friday Favorites are here!

I’m heading off to a doctors appointment here shortly, so hopefully things are looking good and we can look at doing an IUI in the next few days. Stay tuned! Anyways, yay! Here we go!

Favorite Thing I am Looking Forward to: This weekend! I am SO blessed to have an amazing small group of women who “do life” with me. We meet together every other week, spending time doing a Bible study and in prayer, catching up on life and supporting each other through the ups and downs. Community is one of the BIGGEST and BEST things isn’t it? I don’t know what I would do without these girls and their friendships. Anyways, now I’m off topic – this weekend we are all spending a few days out of town at a cabin together. All these beautiful ladies are mom’s and will be able to relax and be freed of all responsibilities for a few days – as a friend, I am so excited for them to just kick back and enjoy! There will be laughter, delicious food, 80’s movies and of course, sweatpants. YES! I. can’t. wait!

our christmas party 2014

Favorite Recipe: I posted this picture of homemade shrimp ceviche on Instagram earlier this week and have gotten some requests for the recipe. It’s so simple and I am excited to share! I got this recipe from a family friend and have tweaked to our preference, which really just means this recipe has a lot of flexibility to make it to what you enjoy!

The juice of 2.5 – 3 limes (depending on taste, size and juiceness. Start with less and add more if needed.)
1 pound of cooked shrimp diced into smaller pieces (I buy frozen wild caught shrimp at Trader Joe’s and cook it fast on the stove in boiling water till cooked.)
1 small finely diced yellow onion
1 bunch of cilantro finely minced
2 avocados, diced the same size as your shrimp
5 diced seeded Roma tomatoes (I only use the outside flesh and remove the seeds and juices)
2-3 tablespoons of Worchestershire sauce (this will have gluten – a tablespoon or two of briggs aminos are a great substitute if you are gluten sensitive)
4 oz of cocktail sauce
crackers or tortilla chips to serve. (I love the Food Should Taste Good multigrain tortilla chip)

Cut it all up, mix together, chill and serve! It’s also great with a flaked fish like talapia or mahi mahi! Mmmmm!

Favorite Verse: I need to be reminded of Zephaniah 3:17 this week. “The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you with His love; He will exult over you with loud singing.” My brain felt cluttered – so many things to do, goals to set, appointments to worry about, things to plan for. The chatter of NOISE took over. And then I was reminded that there is so much power in being quieted with His love. To trust that because of His love for us, we have nothing to worry about, that He will provide for us in every way we need and that it will be okay. Yes, we have to be responsible and work towards our goals, however, there is no need to doubt that He will take care of us. His love is enough.

Favorite Upcoming Change: Slowing down a bit in February. Yes, I know we aren’t supposed to live for what is to come and not to use life as an excuse to put things off, but I really feel like I have been putting a lot off this month as work is busy and my commitment list seems long. The job that I have been helping at since July is ending in a matter of weeks. The new gal starts on Wednesday. WEDNESDAY! I’ll train her through January and maybe a little into February and then am re-retiring! I am so grateful for the chance to jump back into the (paid) working world and have enjoyed seeing co-workers/friends again, while stretching those working muscles, however I am also grateful for some quieter times ahead, focusing on writing and being intentional with relationships. Let the countdown begin.

Favorite Song: Yesterday was a hard day for me. If you follow me on Instagram, you saw that I shared this message: ” I woke today with that surprising ache of sadness. Not the kind of sadness that pairs with hopelessness, it’s the sadness that catches you off guard, resting in your eyes and filling your lungs before you even know it’s there, almost more of a physical sadness than a mental sadness. It’s the sadness that is paired with His presence and peace, yet the emotion is real and the breaths seem a little shorter as you try to hold it together. These days always catch me off guard, hitting me when I least expect it and yet bring a gentle comfort with them as I know bringing my sadness to His feet is powerful and that He will rest with me in a no-reason tough day like today. ••• it’s days like this when I have to be keenly aware and tuned into my blessings, otherwise the sadness can run wild and free and do far more damage that it should. So today I’m thankful for the flowers my husband brought home last night for no reason, the sun that is shining, the kitchen sink that is empty and the liquid cups of caffeine that steep for me as I get ready to start me day. ••• If you’re caught off guard by an emotion today, I encourage you, acknowledge it and bring it to His feet. Worship Him and thank Him despite the hardships and ask Him to walk with you. He is faithful to meet us. What are you thankful for today?” I was SO grateful for the prayers, messages and emails of those reading and also, for those in my BSF group who listened to me ask tearily for prayers. I am happy to report that today I am feeling better and feel back on my game!

However, where I am going with this – as I was driving from Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) to work, I heard this song on the radio and it was a perfect song for the day. Thanks Kari Jobe!

Favorite Hair: I have a hair cut coming up next week and while I usually just get a little trim, thought this length would be a fun little change. Will I take off the 3-4 inches? Not sure, but it sure is cute!

Favorite Encouragement: Emails. All the emails I have been receiving this month from readers who have been following along our story, sharing their story and reminding me why it’s SO worth putting my heart on here. There have been so many emails lately I have been concerned I am being punked. Thank you to each and every one of you who have been reaching out. You are all in my prayers and I am so incredibly thankful for the rawness of your words as you share with me what you are going through and how this blog has impacted you. I am humbled as I read each word and wish I could live close enough to do coffee with each and every one of you! (Side note – I actually DO get to grab coffee this morning with someone who connected with me through this blog. A, I am excited to meet and visit!!) You are always invited to contact me here!

Favorite Funnies: