For those TTC, there is a little something known as the 2 Week Wait (2WW). It’s the timeframe from after the day you ovulate to when it’s recommended that you take a pregnancy test. It’s also known as the 2 weeks from hell (author’s definition). During this timeframe, your body is doing all kinds of random things, such as producing hormones to “feed” a potential embryo. And if you don’t have a fertilized egg, it is what eventually leads to PMS and then Aunt Flow (AF) arrives.

Now, the reason I say that this 2WW is from hell is because it’s literally 14 days of absolute nothing other than waiting and trying to interpret everything going on in your body. It is seriously mentally draining and confusing and can be is all consuming. I would rather the first 2 weeks of any month, filled with pills, shots, blood work, ultrasounds, phone calls – than the two weeks that follows where ABSOLUTELY NOTHING takes place. You wait. You take no more pills, you don’t talk to your doctor, and you don’t know what is going on in your body. You are just waiting. It’s nearly torture and enough to drive even the saniest person (clearly, me) INSANE.

So here are the common side effects that are early pregnancy symptoms. (Ones women will experience before getting their BFP (known in support groups as Big Fat Positive, as in the results of their pregnancy test.)

• Spotting
• Swollen/tender breasts
• Fatigue/tiredness
• Nausea/morning sickness
• Backaches and Headaches
• Food cravings or food aversions
• Increased mood swings
• Dizziness

Ok, so those are just a few of them. So you experience those and you just might be pregnant! Now let’s compare those with PMS side effects of someone who isn’t pregnant.

• Spotting
• Swollen/tender breasts
• Fatigue/tiredness
• Nausea/morning sickness
• Backaches and Headaches
• Food cravings or food aversions
• Increased mood swings
• Dizziness

Wow, it’s just CRUEL! Then comes into play this alleged (I say alleged because I have never experienced it before) “intuition” that some women say they get when they are pregnant. “I just knew!” they say “You will just know it!”. Ummm, what does that mean? How does “just knowing it!” differ from “I want it bad enough that I am going to talk myself into the fact that I just know!”

I seriously H.A.T.E.  this wait. I hate that every time I feel tired I think “I could be pregnant!” then I think “Wait, no I just didn’t get enough sleep last night.” 3 minutes pass “I am soooo craving a glass of orange juice. That must mean I am pregnant!” and then “Wait, I am having a bagel and like orange juice with bagels.” 5 minutes later “Wow, I think I might throw up. Is this morning sickness?” followed by the realization that my cream in my tea was expired. It is AWFUL. (I beg someone TTC to challenge my hatred of the 2WW. Go ahead…..)

Here is the thing I think I hate the most. There is nothing I can do. During this timeframe, there is NOTHING I can do but wait. Nothing I can do to make things different. No pill I can take to increase my chances. No feedback from the doctor on how the cycle is going. No way to fast forward and just find out the test results. IT. IS. JUST. WAITING.

I have no wise words to say about this time, other than it’s a great chance to be dependent on God to provide my sanity  each day. It made me feel a lot better to read a laundry list of 2WW Confessions from women – now I know I am not alone and I share these to let others in the 2WW know you are not alone either! Here are just some of my favorites:

• I gave my follicles “pep talks” in the car on the way to work. I promised to buy them ponies if they would just fertilize. (Guilty! Except my follies are promised my entire collection of Baby Sitters Club books (girl) or Boxcar Children books (boy).
• I also washed my hair with baby shampoo and used a baby soap and lotion every day. (Hadn’t thought of that but I guess Johnson & Johnson’s revenue just skyrocketed!)
• I have a BUNCH of good luck charms sitting next to my bed; a doll baby, a plastic stork, and one of those worry dolls that you’re supposed to shake when you’re feeling upset (which I did). They’re all sitting on a plate that belonged to me when I was a baby.
• I make sure to sit up straight at all times. I get freaked that if I slouch while sitting, I might smush my fallopian tube, ovaries, and uterus… therefore causing conception not to take place. (No comment. *back straight*)
• I won’t lift anything in the 2WW heavier than a gallon of milk for fear that the baby will unplant itself and cause a early miscarriage. (Um, Josh, can you bring the laundry basket upstairs for me??)
• I won’t wear my tight jeans, though they make my butt look sooo good. (Thank goodness leggings are in!)
• In the 2WW, I won’t do any type of exercise that requires jumping or abdominal work. I’m worried that it will keep it from implanting, or if it implants, it might knock it loose. (This includes running upstairs.)
• Sometimes when i go to bed I put my hands on my tummy area just in case it might encourage any implanation/faster swimming etc my theory is they are making it warm and it’s important to have a warm uterus etc.. (read that somewhere)
• I won’t sleep on my stomach in the 2WW
• I rub my belly in the shower, and sometimes, talk to it hoping to encourage implantation/growth!
• DH (darling husband) hugs me and I think my boobs are tender, so until AF shows I am constantly grabbing and poking them to see if they really are tender.
• I think I’m peeing lots more than normal, so I keep drinking liquids to see if I’ll wee more often. Do you see the trend in this habit??
• I worry that if I don’t “talk” to my embryos they will feel unloved and therefore will not stick. (This also includes singing.)

Go ahead and think I/we am/are crazy. These are the things that we think about during these 2 weeks! Here is to praying it goes by FAST! I am prepared and ready for any outcome; I just want to know already!

Impatiently Waiting,

Chelsea