update.

2 post in one day – whoa! Settle down, thankful this one will be short too. I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers and all the encouraging words sent this morning. I really needed it and am so thankful I can rely on each of you to help support us in prayer and thoughts. There are times I don’t know the words to pray or say, and knowing that you are all supporting us gets me through a hump. So thank you.

An update – My ultrasound shows two “packs” of follicle sizes – ones that are mature and to the size they want them to be, and other smaller ones, that are nearing mature size but not quite there yet. The doctor wanted to see lab results to determine which “pack” of follicles that they should go after. Walking out of the appointment, it seemed likely we would go after the current mature follicles. However, my lab results were less than ideal.

There is a certain hormone that is lower than they would like to see – they would like it to be minimally in the 1,000+ range in order to result in mature, usable eggs. Many women are between 2,000 – 4,000. I am at 923. My doctor says that needs to get higher before we can do a retrieval. What this means is they are going to double my medication doses tonight and tomorrow morning and have me come back to the clinic for another ultrasound and lab work in the AM to determine next steps.

Follicles can grow 1-2 mm a day. My mature follicles right now are at a stage where they can and may quickly grow past the point of mature and become “too big” (they are within 1-2 mm from hitting that stage). So we are praying that the smaller ones, which are 3-4 mm under the minimum “ripe” size, grow quickly. Big follicles tend to absorb the majority of the medication so we truly need to recruit prayers for these smaller follicles to grow, the larger ones to stop growing, and for my hormone levels to skyrocket … overnight.

The plan from here – in order to have the egg retrieval, 36 hours before its scheduled I will be injected with what is most commonly known as a “trigger shot”. This is a hormone shot that helps with getting the follicles ready to ovulate. It has to be timed very carefully as we need the follicles to be just about to ovulate, but retrieve them before they do. (Literally the minutes count here!). We anticipate if the results tomorrow improve to what the doctor would like to see, that this shot would be administered tomorrow evening with the egg retrieval surgery taking place on Monday morning.

This has been a continued emotional rollercoaster! It is such a helpless feeling having no control over what my body is doing and relying so heavily on the knowledge and experience of the doctor. I’m scared things won’t go as hoped but know I can’t get ahead of myself. I need YOU to help support us in prayers and pray against discouragement. I have no other option but to fully rely on God during this. Josh has been such a positive, confident supporter. And each of you – gosh, the words and messages I have received today have met me right where I am. I love what one friend said … “IVF is such a blessing … but I love that it still takes GODS MIRACLES to make it happen …” That is the truth and I need to be reminded of that each hour. The hormones don’t help logical thinking and truthfully, we are still absolutely in this and excited for the next step. Please join us in praying:

1) for hormone levels to rise;

2) for the follicle sizes to be and become what we need them to be to give us the most optimal changes;

3) for clarity and direction of the doctor; and

4) for hope to continue to penetrate my heart.

I am reminded of God’s goodness in this passage someone sent to me …

“I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; He saved me from all my troubles. For the angel of the Lord is a guard; He surrounds and defends all who fear Him. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in Him! Fear the Lord, you His godly people, for those who fear Him will have all they need. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing.” (Psalm 34:4-10)

Thank you my friends.

calling for prayer…

I don’t tend to blog “rushed”, but I need some prayer warriors out there today!

Before I talk about “me”, I am going to ask you to pause a moment a pray for friends of mine, Mommy A and Daddy P who lost their little girl Molly yesterday born at 24 weeks, after a tough 30 hour fight. There really are no words to say to make the pain go away so I just ask that all my readers out there, lift up a prayer for them today, praying that God brings their family comfort in a way only He can.

I have to say, following that up with prayers for myself seems difficult and selfish. I am comforted by the fact that we know that God hears all of our prayers and each is important to Him. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” (1 John 5:14-15)

My appointment on Wednesday went well – it was a difficult morning based on the fact that I realized I had been administering the wrong dosage of medication to myself, much less than what I was supposed to be. I walked into the appointment with the reality and fear that the cycle could be canceled. Instead, God chose to surprise us with better than anticipated results, showing 14 follicles, 2 already mature, and many more growing. We know that not each follicle carries an egg, or even one that has potential to be created into an embryo, but the volumes and my body’s response was great. In fact, my body responded so well, that had I not made the med error for 4 days straight, I likely would have overstimulated and ended up in the hospital. How’s that for God answering prayers??

My labs turned out great as well. I have an appointment this morning at 10:15  and my excitement from Wednesday has turned into fear. Fear that I might have too big of follicles and they might cancel the cycle. Fear that something happened between then and now that results in bad news. Fear that perhaps, although rare, I already ovulated and it’s all too late. It’s been a fearful morning for me, and I am not used to be so anxious about things. So I know it’s the enemy trying to attack my head and heart and for this, I recruit prayers from you. Please pray that 1) my body is exactly where they need it and want it to be, 2) that the doctor and nursing team have a clear direction on what the next steps will be for me and 3) that my mind would be at peace knowing that whatever happens, it’s in God’s hands.

I will update you all more later…Thank YOU!

(Hey, an 8 minute blog … not bad! I apologize for an grammatical or spelling errors!)