Anyone else in shock that it’s Thanksgiving this week? Whoa! My plate has been a little fuller than normal, trying to balance in working full-time with my already busy calendar. I added in a high dose birth control pill a few weeks ago to prepare for our IUI cycle and wowza, there is definitely a learning curve getting back into the steady stream of hormones and reintroducing metformin to my system. EEEEEEK!
I wish I could tell you I was handling the to-do list’s and hormones like a champ, but the truth is that it’s gotten the best of me more often than not. I seasoned my salad on Sunday night with tears as I faced the possibility that I might not be able to do it all. The amount of pressure I put on myself to “KEEP UP!” and the acknowledgement that I might not be able to makes me feel like I am failing. I take pride in being able to get it all done, throw the party, drop off the meal, send that card, reply to that text, sneak in a coffee date, comment back to each loving comment left. And then this last week hit and it was like ….
And a little of this:
However, I have to note, today, I am more like this.
So why am I telling you all this? Well, one, so you know I have the same rollercoasters as you do. Two, because I needed to vent that birth control pills and metformin sucks. Three, well, because I am learning a lot during all this.
My soul needs rest. In the midst of chaos and SO MANY LISTS, I have made the mistake of prioritizing everything else above my time with Him and then when the evening comes and my Bible stares at me, well, my eyes just can’t stay open. I need to learn the disciple of being still, of making HIM the priority instead of ensuring I have the green bean casserole made and the turkey purchased (okay, well those actually are two important things).
Psalm 46:10a reminds me “Be still, and know that I am God!”. The act of being still is one of the hardest things for me in this season, as I know it is for many of you too. Psalm 131 continues, “But I have calmed and quieted my soul…” Solitude, quiet time and rest in God is worth fighting for. It’s worth carving out, worth prioritizing, worth bumping all the way up to the most alert part of your day.
I know I need to work on slowing down and simply enjoying His presence, without asking for anything and without worrying about everything else to do. Simply being with Him. Pastor Craig Groeschel says “Stilling our heart doesn’t happen by accident” and this whole last week or two has been a gigantic validation of that statement. So with that, I ask that you offer me some grace as I perhaps write only once a week instead of twice over the next couple weeks, or take an extra day or two to reply to your comments (which I LOVE reading!!!!!), or skip a Friday Favorites (like I will this Friday to spend some Black Friday fun with the family.) I want to take the little extra time I have and savor it, stilling my heart so I can contemplate the goodness of our Great God.
A few last things to note and to be concise, bullet points it is!
- Thanks to over 85 of you who purchased products through our fundraiser link, we were generously donated over $900 in commissions from our dear friends Annie and Jana. We are completely overwhelmed with gratitude for the amazing generosity and sacrifice of so many of you who wanted to be a part of our journey in this way. Humbled doesn’t even begin to describe how grateful we feel. Thank you. So much.
- Our IUI cycle is set to start the first week of December if all goes as planned! We are still waiting for test results on the autoimmune testing I had done and I have a call scheduled for tomorrow afternoon to discuss all the fine tuned IUI details and hopefully will get those results then. I will be absolutely sure to keep you all in the detail loop as we move forward! YAHOO!
- Starting next month, I will be writing for the website Fertility Authority and will be posting blogs with new content over there in addition to my posts here. (Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere!) Can I ask you all a favor in advance? I get paid by views so when I share a link, would you mind just taking a moment to click over and read? If you weren’t able to participate in the fundraiser, this is a great free way to support us! Another amazing thing is that I get to write about my faith on there too, which as you know is a huge part of who I am as a writer and person. I am pumped about this opportunity and honored that they would approach me with this opportunity. Stay tuned the first of week December and then click away!
That’s it! Hope all my USA readers have an amazing Thanksgiving and I will eat extra turkey and mashed potatoes keeping my international readers in mind XO!
11 thoughts on “tears and stillness.”
The gifs are hysterical, thanks for sharing them. That’s geata bout the new writing gig, I look forward to reading your articles on Fertility Authority.
Oh googling for those GIF’s cracked me up!!! HA! And thank you for the congrats! :) It will be fun and I am thankful to have you as a reader!!
Oooh, girl, birth control pills are the WORST. Out of all the IVF drugs I just took/am taking, I felt the worst on the birth control pills! Be kind to yourself over these next few weeks. I applaud you for taking time to still your heart — because it’s true that it doesn’t happen by accident. Xoxo.
Thank you for the support and kind words. :) And or validating how brutal BCP is! Yuck! Hug friend!
I don’t miss birth control pills at all. I actually begged my Dr to take me off of them lol. Can’t wait to read your post at fertility authority.
Thanks Jojo! :) I appreciate the support and also, completely understand why you asked your doctor to take you off of them! Grrrr! Have a great day!
Happy thanksgiving to you and thks for the extra turkey ;) i’ll re-re-re-watch the thanksgiving episode from friends^^
Hahah! Yes! The thanksgiving episodes are always so funny!! Xoxo!
What a blessing you raised so much money already! I”m happy to click lots of times and can’t wait to read your other posts as well!!! Happy thanksgiving friend!
You have always been such a great supporter and blessing! Thank you Caroline! We are blessed for sure!
Congrats on the writing gig, Chelsea! That’s incredible and I will definitely click on over when you share the link. They are lucky to have you as a writer.
Amazing so much was raised in the fundraiser. Such a blessing.
Metformin will be so worth it in the long run. My body loves that drug- works so much more efficiently on it.
So many prayers for you on this next chapter.