friday favorites – september 12.

September 12, 2014September 15, 20144 Comments

As I type this it’s currently – wait for it – 55º outside with an overnight low of 37º. Wah wah. I am afraid summer ended pretty abruptly for us midwesterners. My allergies are looking forward to the near freeze but I feel like my open toed fall shoes are not going to get a good season in. I’m not complaining though. I do love that we get to experience all four seasons and fall is one of my favorites. So bring it on!

Alright, let’s jump in to the Friday Favorite fun! (Triple F? FFF? F x 3? None of these? Ha!)

Favorite Moment: Josh and I got to have a fun date with my nieces Scarlett (3) and Kinsely (2) on Saturday and we had SUCH a wonderful time. These little girls are hysterical, so loving and funny and so well behaved – it’s evident their parents have done an amazing job raising them so far. (Shout out to Joe and Monica!) We packed the day full of activities – starting with a treasure hunt and hidden clues (leading to the final prize in the oven, which the girls thought was so funny), spent time on the driveway painting pictures, had a surprise stop from the ice cream man (which as an uncle and aunt, we couldn’t pass up), played water ball tag, made button picture frames (and they both picked out Cali as the photo they wanted featured which melted my little fur-mama heart), had a tea party and tickle fight, and then attempted to dance like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum as we watched Alice in Wonderland. We were tired afterwards but goodness, our hearts were full!

Favorite Recipe: We tried a great recipe this week, one that I found on a Whole30 page (IG @ Whole30Recipes). (But then I added parmesan cheese because I love cheese. Whoops!). It was delicious – give it a try!

(I wasn’t planning on putting this picture on the blog so excuse it’s unedittedness and uncenteredness, ha. Real life here peeps)

Cashew-Almond Crusted Tilapia Salad with Lemon-Pepper Ranch

Tilapia Prep: In a food processor (or Magic Bullet!), blend until fine: – 3/4C cashews – 3/4C almonds – 1 tsp ea. of chili powder, paprika, salt & pepper. Transfer to a shallow dish. In another dish, whisk 1 egg and 2T water .Rinse and pat dry 4 tilapia fillets. (I think any white fish would be yummy!) Dip in egg and then crumb mixture. Transfer to baking dish or parchment lined baking sheet. Bake at 400 for 25 minutes. (Always check the doneness of your fish, it should be white and flakey. Thicker fillets may need a few extra minutes and I took a thinner one out at 20 minutes.)

Salad: – Bed of mixed greens (I love butter lettuce and Trader Joe’s now has it bagged!) – a Thinly sliced red onion (in the recipe but I didn’t have one handy) – Tomato chunks (hiding in this picture of mine apparently) – and tons of Mini Cucumber slices (and parmesan cheese if you don’t mind the little bit of dairy)

Dressing: Whisk: – 2T homemade mayo (I’ll be honest, I used Hellman’s while is not Whole30 compliant) – Juice of 1/2 lemon – 1 tsp EVOO – Dash of: cayenne, paprika & cracked pepper.

{note: I sliced the tilapia after it was baked.}

Favorite Picture: Hands down, this adorable one of my niece Scarlett on her first day of Pre-K. Her smile! Oh my word, my heart melted. She can’t possibly be preschool aged! Gulp!

Favorite Thing I’m Looking Forward to: Damien Rice’s new album! He hasn’t had a new cd come out since 2006 and his new album that is supposed to drop on November 11^th. Love his stuff.

Favorite Tradition: Every year, on the first fall-like day, my sister and I sneak away to Starbucks and celebrate the new season with our first Pumpkin Spice Latte. Now, I have been trying to watch carbs and sugars so this year I rang in the season with a kiddie sized, no whip breve PSL, however, I believe that diets are all about balance and that one kiddie sized PSL wasn’t going to kill me. Traditions and new memories are so special and I am glad I splurged. :) Cheers!

Favorite Quote: “I am always available to you. Once you have trusted Me as your Savior, I never distance Myself from you. Sometimes you may feel distant from Me. Recognize that as feeling; do not confuse it with reality. The Bible is full of My promises to be with you always.” –Jesus Calling-

I loved this section from Jesus Calling this week. If you knew me at all, you know that I am a very feelings-based person. This was such a great reminder for me that even when I don’t FEEL like I am being heard, or He is present, that doesn’t mean I am not and He is not. It brings us back to basing our faith off of His Word and His character. I had an ah-ha moment last night at small group when I was sharing with my group how I just want some sort of feeling or affirmation that He is hearing us, and then I flipped to a page in my book that I highlighted (and clearly forgot), that said “Is it possible that when we are not getting the affirmation or confirmation that we desire, it’s because God doesn’t want our faith to rest in affirmation we can feel? In these times could it be that He’s at work on a deeper level, teaching us to rely on His character rather than our performance?” (Steven Furtick) I felt immediately convicted that I need to spend less time analyzing my feelings and spend more time trusting His character and Word.

Favorite Funnies: Apparently I was hard to impress this week because hardly any funnies cracked me up! So there are only a few this week – as always, if you have something to share with me, send it over via email! (Check out the Contact page). Enjoy!

As always, hope you have an awesome weekend. Thanks for reading today. :)

… in the land of the living.

September 6, 20149 Comments

I loved this verse I read from Psalms 27:13-14 today: “I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” Ahh, 6 simple words – “In the land of the living.” My prayers echo this, believing we will see answers to our prayers on this earth during our life. And so we wait. We pray. We remain strong by His might. We find courage in Him. On days of despair, when my heart is in shambles and the statistics shout against my hope, I will wait. I will believe. I WILL see His continued goodness. Breathe in and breathe out. Whatever you’re waiting for today, find Him first then lean into His gentle yet mighty strength.

I believe”– the definition of “believe” is to accept something as truth and be sure of something. So when we say “I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living”, we are saying “I trust, without a doubt, without question and with completely certainty, that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” The Message translation reads like this: “I’, sure now I’ll see God’s goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit. I’ll say it again: Stay with God.”

It can be so hard to stay with God when you feel weary. But here’s where I have been challenged in the past – when I am feeling my weariest, I realize that I have not been staying with God. I have been trying to manage it all on my own and inviting God to walk along side me, I have not met Him first or sought Him first. I tend to make it about me and my “needs”. I’ll consult Him, when I have the time. His Bible, hey, it’s great to read when I am done with my prayer list. Quiet time to listen? Shoot, well, I have to catch up on the Real Desperate Housewife of Orange County finale …. It’s only in the moments when I put Him first that I truly and completely feel the wave of peace wash over me and the weariness lifted. Because it’s in THOSE moments, when God takes over, carries the load and the invites me to walk beside Him.(And more often then not, He ends up carrying me.)

It’s so worth it and yet it can be so hard. I love the control. I love the adrenaline of the challenge, but it’s so draining. This verse today has reminded me to believe without a doubt that God will grant our prayers on this earth and has increased my confidence and trust in waiting on Him.

friday favorites – september 5.

September 5, 201414 Comments

Another week is behind us … let’s jump right in!

Favorite New Home Decoration: My brother-in-law and sister-in-law got me this awesome pillow for my birthday and it’s now made its home comfy inside my library. Seriously, loving the texture of the material and it makes me giggle whenever I see it. Whooo hoooo! (And while Cali jumped up on the chair herself, I totally pulled a Ross when rapping to get her to look at me. HA!)

Favorite Relief Method: Am I the only one STRUGGLING with allergies right now? Man, I don’t remember them being this bad before! I have small spurts of great moments and then other moments of complete and utter sneezy, snotty, pink-eyey-looking hotness. Yikes. I am keeping my go-to’s well stocked and should have bought stock in Kleenex before August hit. Next year.

Favorite Pens: I love all the back to school aisles. Like, to the point where I can’t pass them up and just wander down touching all the new folders, binders and notebooks. I am a little jealous of all the kids who get to use their new supplies this week. I loved strategically picking out which color notebook I wanted for what class, there always was some sort of rational to the color system. Blue …. hmmm …. blue like water, water like H2O, H20 like elements, elements like a periodic table, ah blue is for chemistry. See, it makes total sense. Anyways, I couldn’t pass up the Target aisles without picking up a new pack of my all time favorite pens – Pilot G-2 – but NOT just any kind, it has to be the Ultra Fine 0.38 kind. They are so perfect. I needed them for Bible Study okay??

Favorite New Couple: Yes, we have had a few things going on in the celebrity world this last week or two (I am ignoring Brad and Angelina, I still miss him with Jennifer Aniston) – but this new couple takes the cake…my sister and her new boyf! Yay! Sorry men, this amazing lady is off the market. Ahhh, gotta love observing this first season of a relationship, so sweet.

Favorite Planning Sesh: Alright readers, another vacation is in the works – Savannah, Georgia! Every year I am blessed to be able to sneak away for a few days with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law for a girls trip and I can’t wait for this next one! We were able to meet last night and go through the travel books and scribble down ideas and itineraries, however, we still need your help! Do you have a restaurant or MUST-SEE place in Savannah? Send it my way!

Favorite Article: This. Go read it. I am so guilty of thinking really warm and fuzzy things about my friends, how much I appreciate them, value them, and grateful for them, but there can be such a communicate breakdown sometimes! Do they know how much I love them? Are my actions speaking what my brain is saying? Shauna nailed this post – READ!

Favorite IG Picture: I follow this account on Instagram and loved this photo and verse they shared this week. One of my faves!

Favorite Funnies: Here you go! I was in stitches preparing these for this post. Enjoy and have a great weekend friends!

discouragement and expectations.

September 2, 201420 Comments

My highlighter has run dry. I recently read a chapter in the book Crash the Chatterbox by Steven Furtick that had my highlight moving at the speed of light. In fact, if you peered at my book at the moment, you would likely find more things NOT highlighted than highlighted. My underlining skills have much to be desired however there was so many great points packed in this chapter about expectations, discouragement and disappointment that I just couldn’t keep it to myself. So here’s my list of my favorite quotes – (and this won’t do the book justice so order a copy today*!):

1. “When the internal dialogue of discouragement starts in your heart, remember – the Enemy’s goal goes way beyond putting you in a bad mood temporarily. He’s trying to talk you out of trusting God’s plan for your life at a foundational level. And he’s not just trying to derail you. He aims to limit the impact God wants to make through you and beyond you.”

I know I am not alone when it comes to that internal dialogue that starts talking to me at night. You’ll never have a baby. You’ll never see an answer to these prayers. You are broken. You should just stop trying. Everyone else is meant to have a baby, look at you, being passed up again, and again, and again. You heard your calling wrong. The chatter in my head is insistent. But every word of the chatter is taking God out of the equation and causing me to doubt what I believe in the bottom of my heart that God has called me to be (a mom). When the devil starts churning that doubt in my head, it isn’t just a temporary stumble, it begins to root those lies in my heart and brain, affecting every aspect of my life. Time to put those lies aside and focus on the TRUTHS I have been given. Easier said than done, right? But like muscles, it just takes some training – continued training – and never giving up.

2. “The greatest source of discouragement for me is going through pain when I can’t see the purpose.”

Isn’t pain so much easier when you can see a domino effect of good that has come out of it? You work out every day and you see results. You give up soda and you lose a few pounds. You lose your job only to get a better job. There is a feeling of accomplishment and strength that keeps you motivated because you see the purpose, sometimes immediate and sometimes it takes a little while.

But what about when one of your parents passes away? Or you have a miscarriage? Or your son dies away shortly after he is born? Or your husband gets cancer? Then what? The pain and discouragement lingers and you don’t see a purpose, you can’t find any good in the situation and the discouragement gets heavier.

While I will never sit here and tell you that your child dying is a good thing, I do believe that good things can come from immense pain. My miscarriages were not good – they were so painful that there doesn’t seem to be accurate words to convey that pain – but out of that, good things have come. I became more relatable to many of you, forming friendships and being able to walk in faith along side of you. I have seen friends turn back to God after reading a post and I have met so many of you that I am able to pray for and with. Those are good things. The stories I hear, how you share with me about how God is working in your life despite your struggles, that gives purpose to my pain. It lessens my discouragement.

3. “Let me offer a working definition of disappointment: disappointment is the gap between what I expect and what I experience. And the chatterbox (that voice in our head) looks for ways to exploit your disappointment by filling that gap with doubts about the goodness of God.”

I have continued to learn that there’s a central thread that runs through expectations and that is communication. There have been nights that I have been out for the evening and hope that Josh magically reads my mind to unload the dishwasher while I am gone. When I get home and the dishwasher is still full, I am disappointed – what I experience is not what I expected. I could be mad at him, frustrated for his lack of mind-reading capabilities or I could communicate with him what I was hoping for and let it go. Or even better, I could communicate my expectations before going out so that he knew what I hoped to experience when I returned. How many times have we been mad at God for not answering something we never prayed to Him about? Or held an unanswered request against Him, even and especially when its something we have prayed and pleaded with Him about? One question I ask myself regularly when I am disappointed is “Was his/her intentions to hurt me?” Josh would never intend to make me frustrated on purpose and God doesn’t intend to cause us pain either. He does expect us to trust in His goodness however which builds our faith as we navigate disappointments.

4. Disappointed expectations, when full-grown, give birth to chronic discouragement. If you allow this discouragement to run rampant in your life, you’ll lose your hope.”

We can’t be people that constantly focus on what we are lacking or where our expectations have fallen short. That focus is what guts our faith and drains us of our joy, purpose and hope. I am been a victim of falling into the cycle of chronic disappointment and losing my hope – the good news is it’s possible to regain but it takes time spent with God, a commitment to seek Him above your prayer request list and the faith to say even if my request isn’t answered, You are still good.

5. “If God always met our expectations, He’d never be able to exceed them. Sometimes God takes us to another level by building higher. Sometimes He does it by digging deeper.”

The first time I read this quote I starred it, highlighted it, underlined it, shouted a mental ‘amen’ in my head …. then a few hours later as I washed my hair in the shower, I thought about it some more. And it irritated me. God, I am not even asking you to exceed my expectations, I am perfectly fine with you just meeting them. I would be thrilled with just getting an answer, it doesn’t need to be anything fancy. Just something, anything, please …. I have to admit, I am still sorting through my thoughts on this one but I like where it is going. (But really God, I’ll take 3rd place, just let me be on the podium …)

(The story I shared of Lazarus in this blog post from September talks a lot more about failed expectations and the richness that can be found in Him exceeding what we ask.)

6. “Don’t let what you expected keep you from what God wants you to experience.”

We are living in the present moment and as much as we hope for _________ (a baby/a new job/a bigger paycheck/a healed spouse/a repaired marriage/student loans to be paid off), we have to live in today. That means experiencing everything that God has given us right here, right now. I believe that some of the richest blessings in life come from acknowledging that what we are experiencing, as imperfect and difficult as it may be, is something that is molding us for even greater days. These are precious moments.

7. “Believing God means assuming that He is always working, even when our faith and prayers and love doesn’t seem to be working at all. Realizing this opens our hearts to accept what God has allowed in each season of our lives without being overtaken by discouragement.”

This is where faith is tested. Faith is tested in the season of silence, in the season of unanswered prayers, in the season where sorrow and disappointments swirl around us like a frigid winter snow. It’s also the time where we can be strengthened if we allow God to meet us where we are and walk with Him during the storm. Disappointment sucks, but there IS a future ahead, where disappointments fade away and peace is given. It’s exhausting but completely worth it.

Good stuff right!? Should I do a similar post on the chapter about gratitude later this month? Weigh in on the comments and let me know! Until next time …

Oh and a random PS – you know what’s crazy – that if my first IVF cycle had not resulted in a miscarriage, today would have been our child’s 1st birthday (assuming the due date was spot on). I am not sure where time went and that makes this journey feel even longer than ever. Happy first birthday little Boone and Crockett. Sorry Dad nicknamed you such silly names – we love you!

* – I don’t get anything for recommending this book or link, it’s simply to make your purchase easier. :)

friday favorites – august 29.

August 29, 2014August 29, 201417 Comments

Friday Favorites after 2 of the busiest and funnest weeks of the summer? Nearly impossible. Instead of the normal format, I am going to share some of my favorite moments through photos and captions. Then next week I will be back with some regular posts and more of the usual! Enjoy!

Favorite Movie-Watching Experience: In San Diego, Josh and I got to watch Disney’s Planes on top of the historic aircraft carrier USS Midway. Being on the ocean with the breeze and a firework show in the background was truly spectacular!

Favorite experience with ocean animals: Yes, this one is a stretch. But we had a BLAST at SeaWorld!! I got to pet dolphins, I cried at a few of the shows (I am way overly emotional when I am excited), we laughed, I rode a ride – all in all, it was so much fun.

Favorite Sunset shot: Sunsetting over the ocean as we took the ferry back from Coronado. Gorgeous.

Favorite Historic Moment: Josh and I rode on the world’s oldest wooden roller coaster at Mission Beach. A little clanky, but so. much. fun.

Favorite food on vacation: Ceviche and fish tacos. We ate our weight in them. Oh and Iced teas. YUM!

Favorite Concert: Ahhhhh, you guys, seriously. The Jason Mraz concert was one of the top 10 favorite moments in my LIFE. The music, the theater, the energy, the songs …. I was a little nervous I would pass out before I could enjoy it all. Music speaks to me like no other creative force and great music (especially acoustic music for me) is such a raw, beautiful place. Love.

my super excited face.

Favorite Challenge: Josh and I decided to take a 14-mile guided bike tour all around Coronado and I have to admit, I was a little (okay a lot) nervous going into it! We were the only two signed up for that time slot and had a great guide who we could pedal and chat with. It ended up being a breeze to accomplish and we got to see the island from all angles. Such a blast!

Yes, we wore helmets. They are just not pictured here. :)

Favorite New Treat: Lemon Basil gelato for the win.

Favorite Get-Together: The Minnesota State Fair of course! Check out some of my favorite pictures from the night.

Me and my Mom :)

Me and my Sis

Love my girlfriends!

Favorite Views: The beaches and cliffs in La Jolla were just gorgeous. None of these pictures will do them any justice!

Favorite Summer Finale: Pretty Little Liars anyone? Oh my goodness! Anyone with a good theory, let me know immediately.

One of the only clues I caught – totally not the right hair!

Me the last 3 minutes.

Favorite Back to School Photo: Why it’s Cali of course! Who remembers always wearing the wrong type of clothing the first day? I swear I always wanted to wear my new fall clothes and sweat my face off the first day. Cali is no exception with her GAP hoodie. :)

Waiting patiently for the school bus.

Favorite Birthday Celebrations: I had so much fun celebrating my birthday this year! Thanks to everyone who made it SO special. There are no words.

My adorable nieces made me painted birdhouses. So cute! Thanks to my mother-in-law for hosting a great dinner party for me!

Josh decorated my car for me - and my birthday selfie was bombed with Cali. Ah, real life.

Josh decorated my car for me hence the balloon – and my birthday selfie was bombed with Cali kisses. Ah, real life.

My mom handcrafted 3 of my favorite mini desserts in little shotglasses. These look so much bigger than they really were. :)

My girlfriends took me out for dinner and spoiled me rotten. I am so blessed.

I got so many great gifts, but I especially love this necklace my cousin Brittany got me. The bar has the roman numerals on there for Josh’s and my anniversary. Love!

No funnies this week (whomp whomp), but don’t worry, all will be back to normal next week. Thanks for reading and letting me document my life on here! XO!

Elevator selfie!

day of hope.

August 19, 201415 Comments

Today is a special day. Yes, it is my birthday and I am so blessed and grateful for all of the love you have sent my way via posts, texts, emails ,cards, etc. I am feeling loved and celebrated and am so appreciative of your kindness. But the second reason today is special is that it is the Day of Hope. This day, originally started by Carly Marie Project Heal, is about coming together as a whole community to openly speak about the children who left the world too early – perhaps due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or early death, and celebrating their short lives. I want to take just a short minute to remember our special and loved 7 embryos we transferred through IVF and the 18 embryos that never made it long enough to be transferred. We honor and celebrate the short lives of these sweet babies of our and know that a reunion in heaven waits for us one day.

December 2012

May 2013

July 2013

Because its hatching, it almost looks like a little snowman head on top! We loved Gods sense of humor.

October 2013

A Day of Hope – as a Christian, these words weigh even more heavy on my heart as each and every day is a day where we have hope. Hope: to cherish a desire with anticipation and to expect with confidence. You may remember my post from November 2013 where I talked about the hope we have in God – the CONFIDENCE we have in Him because of Him. It seems only fitting today to repost the verses I shared then as a reminder of the true hope we have.

“So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord!” Psalm 31:24

“We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone.” Psalm 33:20-22

“And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.” Psalm 39:7

“You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope. Lord, sustain me as you promised, that I may live! Do not let my hope be crushed.” Psalm 119:114, 116

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29: 11-13

“For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?” Romans 8:24

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.” Hebrews 10:23

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

Lord, thank you, for always proving faithful in providing our hearts the hope we need to keep moving forward. I am ever so grateful.

Alright, well, just so you know Friday Favorites is taking a vacation this week, so check back next week for a new post. If you are celebrating the Day of Hope today as someone on the “inside”, my thoughts and prayers are with you as you remember your lost little one(s). They knew nothing but love and will always be remembered. Hugs!

friday favorites – august 15.

August 15, 2014August 15, 20145 Comments

Happy Friday friends! Does summer seem to be flying by for anyone else? Granted, I love so many things about fall, but as a Minnesotan, I savor every drop of summer I can! If anyone participates in the #FridayIntroductions on instagram with @jessaconnolly and @thetinytwig, you would have seen that last week’s question prompt was asking ‘what are you looking forward to about fall?’. This question made me excited to answer as my brain started spinning about the upcoming ROUTINE that would soon be established, the scarves and boots and sweaters to be pulled out, the pumpkin spice lattes and apple ciders to be consumed and the apple scented EVERYTHING to be set up around my house. I love the freedom and flexibility that summer offers, but I am also ready to get settled into new fall Bible studies and patterns. So I will continue to enjoy these last few summer days while they last, knowing that good things are ahead as well.

Ok, let’s jump into Friday Favorites!

Favorite Crop: My mother-in-law has a garden at our family cabin and the zucchini plants are going nuts! We were sent home this weekend with these beauties and have enjoyed zucchini noodles, zucchini breads, zucchini sautés, zucchini soups and many other zucchini snacks. Delish! (And yes, I managed to find a great gluten, dairy and sugar free zucchini bread recipe – I still want to tweak the recipe a bit before I share, but according to my sister, it was one of the “best things she’s eaten in a long time.” The drama runs thick in our family folks.)

The fork is there for size comparison … yes, they are HUGE!

Favorite Meal: Can you go wrong with kebobs in the summer? When asking for chicken recipes, one reader suggested kebobs and it has sounded so yummy ever since. We threw some chicken and steak on skewers, added tons of fresh veggies on others and even diced up a pineapple too. The overall flavor created in 15-20 minutes on a hot grill was perfection. This is what summers are all about!

Favorite Things I’m Looking Forward to: Um, is it childish to say my birthday? The big day is next Tuesday, the 19^th, and I just love everything that has to do with birthdays. I love the parties, the celebrations, the excuse to get together with friends and family, the note that fill my mailbox, the affirmative words that are given over Facebook and Instagram … it has nothing to do with presents and everything to do with feeling so loved. So I get to celebrate turning 29 and spending it with people I care deeply about. WIN!

Oh yea, and there’s this little trip to San Diego we are taking soon too that is making my heart beat faster and my smile spread bigger. I can’t wait!

Favorite Surprise: My dear friends Marilyn and Danielle showered me with surprise love this week. I was so thankful for their kind thinking-of-you gifts and encouraging words that filled the cards. Check out my new Alex and Ani anchor bracelet – inspired by Hebrews 6:18-19 “… So we who have found safety with Him are greatly encouraged to hold firmly to the hope placed before us. We have this hope as an anchor for our lives…”

Plus all these fun goodies!

A notebook? Tea? Colored pencils? Hair ties that sparkle? These girls know me well. I am so blessed!

Favorite Photo: A tie – it’s either this one of Cali and her auntie Bella, who both were waiting for the chipmunks to appear at the cabin this weekend (“Ummm, where are they?”) and this casual attempt at a selfie with Cali. Her face cracks me up – she CLEARLY has no interest in taking selfies with her mom. She is 8 after all.

Favorite Award: I recently was nominated by three fellow bloggers for a Very Inspiring Blogger Award! Thank you Mel, Elisha and Alexandria for this nomination – you all inspire me and I feel thankful to be on the receiving end of this. You ladies are awesome and I’d nominate you back if it wasn’t counter productive!

Here’s how the award works:

1.Thank and link the amazing person(s) who nominated you.

http://thereisahigherhope.blogspot.com/

http://waitingforbabybird.com/

http://inallthings828.wordpress.com/

2.List the rules and display the award.

3. Share seven facts about yourself. I will make these quick facts for the sake of your reading time …

1) I am the oldest child of 2, separated by a little over 4 years from my younger sister Courtney. I am wired so consistently with oldest-child traits that it’s a little scary.

2) When I am stressing and driving, I find listening to the radio on ‘scan’ to be incredibly soothing. I have no idea why.

3) I prefer paper planners to electronic planners but have to keep up with both since my husband relies on our shared iPhone calendar. (But really, nothing beats the beauty and simplicity of paper and pen.)

4) If I had to chose any cheese in the world to be my favorite, it would be, without a doubt, feta. The delicious briney Greek kind. I literally could add feta to anything. If only it had no calories…

5) I still haven’t updated my iPhone software to iOS 7. It might have to do with my resistance to change. But because of that, I can’t update about half my apps or use FaceTime anymore. Oh well, I am perfectly happy with my little phone.

6) Daisies are my favorite flower. In the words of Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail “”They’re so friendly. Don’t you think that daisies are the friendliest flowers?” I wish my house could be filled with them.

7) As a child I dreamed about getting the chance to speak at large conferences. Every convention I went to, I sent up a prayer that someday, I could be that person making speaking and impact. Who knows what’s ahead for me – it’s still a giant passion!

And lastly, I get to nominate some others who have inspired me! Without further ado … meet Caroline, who’s faith and heart for the Lord inspires me daily (subscribe to her blog and receive awesome verse-of-the-week posts each Monday!), Charity – who trusts the Lord with such steadfastness that it makes my heart swell (and also bakes amazing cookies), Anna, a real-life friend who has seen her share of pain after losing her first born daughter and yet still shines with beautiful faith and authenticity, and Justine, who’s raw posts and words of hope, recovery and struggle lifts my spirits. Thanks ladies for being a light to all who cross paths with you. Keep writing and know I will keep reading! (Feel free to keep the award going by following the above steps and passing along the nomination love!)

Favorite Funnies:

Have a great weekend friends!

lessons from robin williams’ death.

August 13, 201413 Comments

I, like many of you, was shocked and saddened to hear about the news of Robin Willliams’ death on Monday. Sudden deaths to me always feel surreal and being an empathetic, emotional person, losses are always accompanied with tears whether I “know” the person or not. I cry for the family, for the person, for those touched near and far. Death is never easy to deal with and in this case, it’s brought a few lessons to light for me this week.

1. Live a life that impacts those around you. As tweets, posts, statements and pictures flooded in, it was obvious that the world felt Robin’s loss heavily. In instances like this, I can’t help but wonder what kind of impact it would make on the world if I passed away. No, I don’t expect or want a worldwide hashtag trending, but I do hope to live a life where my absence would affect others in a meaningful way.

We had a close family friend pass away suddenly in April and as I attended his wake and read the steady flow of Facebook comments flood his page, it was obvious that people knew what kind of person he was, what he stood for, and who he believed in. His laughter was infectious, his smile was warm and his hugs were among the best. I remember telling one of his kids how blessed they were to have a father who left such a legacy. We have the chance every day to affect those around us in a positive way. We can choose to show grace and mercy to those who maybe don’t “deserve” it in our opinion. We can genuinely smile at someone who looks to be having a rough day. We can go out of our way to show kindness to those around us – encouraging them, bringing them meals in tough times, and offering hugs when there are no words. And most importantly, we can make it obvious who our Father is and allow Him to seep out of our pores, making it impossible for those around us to question His existence and presence in our lives.

2. Live life as if today is your last day, your last week, your last month, your last year. I hope and pray that you have a long, rich life full of laughter and memories and blessings. I hope and pray that if your life ends sooner than it should, that it is never at your own hand. I hope and pray that NONE of life’s circumstances alter the joy that you carry with you every day. But we know that a long happy and healthy life isn’t always realistic in a broken world and we are surrounded by sudden deaths daily.

At times I wish that I could just have a straightforward answer at what the rest of my life would look like. “You will have 1 child at age 34.” Or “You will never have children.” I feel like there could be so much freedom in simply being able to stop living life wondering what was ahead. But then I realize that NONE of my circumstances should affect my joy. So what if you found out today that you weren’t going to get a different job? You weren’t going to be able to sell your house for 2 more years and the budget would be tight for a little while longer? Wouldn’t there be joy and freedom in simply knowing that you don’t have to worry about it? Well guess what – we DON’T have to worry about it. We do what we can and then we let God handle the rest. His timing, not ours. He carries our burdens, but only when we have the ability to unclench our fists and allow Him to grab them from us. I’ve been guilty of crying out “God, take this burden from me, but let me hold on onto it so I maintain the control please.” So counterproductive.

So let’s embrace the mantra ‘Carpe diem’, seize the day. George Harrison says it best, ““It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.”

3. Mental Illness is real and like any other illness, it has to be dealt with. Anytime there is a suicide, it reminds me of how cruel mental illness is. While cancer might infect your bones or liver, mental illness infects your brain and the way you think and handle life. The good news is that with the help of modern day medicine, psychiatrists, and therapists, help is available and the use of medication can assist with the balance of the chemicals in your brain. Mental illness IS possible to treat. The sad thing is that there is such a stigma around it which prevents many people from ever getting help. But know that you are not alone in your struggle. If you are ever battling depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts, please tell someone, even if the thought of that seems exhausting. While spirituality is a component in healing, it is not the only component. God is our Healer and He has given us amazing medical resources to help with healing, including medications. Please don’t ever feel like you are a bad Christian because of your struggle or ignore your battle hoping to pray it away. Mental illness is not your identity, just like infertility isn’t my identity. It may be something we struggle with but it does not define who we are. Seek help because life doesn’t have to end by your hands. You are too loved to let that happen.

4. Be kind and loving, you never know the battle someone else is facing. Hardships are real and we are in no place to judge or make assumptions about why someone is the way they are. I have never heard someone say at a funeral “Well, I was too kind to him.”, instead, people wish they had been kinder and softer with people. Take the time to lift others up, not tear them down. Life is too short and we never know what the other person’s day is like. Instead of trying to teach someone a lesson about driving too slow or serving your table at a snail’s pace, think that maybe, just maybe, the lesson you are meant to “teach” them is one of undeserved grace. I have a hard time believing that a dirty look, a minimal tip or hands being thrown up in the air is going to make any sort of positive impact on their life.

So Robin, know that your life has affected others around you. I am taking the time to reconsider how I am living my life as a result of your death. Your talent was beautiful to observe. Jumanji scared the heck out of me, Blubber made me laugh, Dead Poet’s Society made me think, Good Will Hunting challenged me, Mrs. Doubtfire made me giggle (and was the first movie my sister and I watched in my parent’s bed, which always made it extra special), Aladdin made me contemplate my life’s wishes and the list could continue. While I will never be in a movie, I hope to use my gifts to impact others positively as you did with yours. I’m so sorry you didn’t find the peace in this life that you were searching for.

Friends, let’s not let another death go by without using it to better our lives. Life is short and a gift, let’s embrace it for all it’s worth.

friday favorites – august 8th.

August 8, 2014August 8, 201411 Comments

Whooo hoooo! Another Friday! My dad sent this to me this morning and I feel like it’s fitting:

Here we go!

Favorite Moment: After all our family had left after such a fun trip, Josh and I got to enjoy a date night and boy, did we have a blast! We first headed down to St. Paul where our friend Jason’s food truck (Jake’s Street Grill – check them out if you are in the Twin Cities area!) was stationed at an outdoor festival. We saved our weekly “cheat meal” for this occasion and Josh enjoyed some wings and I had lobster and shrimp tacos. OMG – SO GOOD! Anytime you put fresh seafood on a corn tortilla and add fresh pico, guac and cheese, well, you can bet I am swooning. From there we took a pit stop at Cabella’s, which is a favorite store of my hubby’s, a breeze through Starbucks for a cup of tea, and then we drove to the drive-in theater where we parked, played cards for an hour, then leaned back into the thousands of pillows and blankets we brought. We watched Planes 2 and Guardians of the Galaxy – both great! The weather was perfect and the company was my favorite. :)

Favorite Drink: I love Yogi teas and have found 3 that I have particularly been crushing on the last few weeks. I love the Green Team Blueberry Slim Tea iced, the Berry Detox hot and the Bedtime tea at night. Holy cow, the Bedtime tea knocks me out like a drug! There is something magical that is laced in there that puts my mind into an instant sleep-mode. Give them a try! (Plus the tags always have such a great little sayings on there too.)

Favorite Act of Obedience: You know those times when you are prompted to do something and you ignore it? And then the times that you are prompted to do something and you follow through? Well, I had one of those this week and am so glad that I listened to His gentle whisper.

It happened yesterday at the end of a long work day. My bladder was pleading for me to drive faster and my brain was reminding me of the meal I signed up to bring to a church friend and the groceries I had yet to buy for it. Stop now, make your bladder your motivator to get through Aldi fast. I swung through the store, racing around and pulled up to the front to check-out, noticing 2 cashiers working, one with a long line behind her and the other empty, just finishing checking someone out. I dashed to the near empty line and that’s when I noticed him. (He looked like a Bill, so that’s what I will call him.) He was about 40, standing far away from the register, almost in the first aisle, but facing the register.

Me (C): Are you in line?

B: Well, yes kinda of, you see …

And that’s when I noticed all that was going on. He had several copper rings wrapped around his neck, large ones, almost touching his belly button. His head was covered in a fishing hat that looked like it was lined with aluminum foil. On his right shoulder he held more large metal rings, those ones silver and he was resting on a cane while leaning into his cart. Around his neck he wore a huge cardboard sign that said “SEVERE EPILEPSY – PLEASE, NO CELL PHONE NEAR ME.”

He continued.

B: You can go ahead, you see I have to wait for her to come to me …

C: Oh gosh, you’re fine, no worries, I will just go in this other line.

My brain was still trying to process everything and I turned to wait in the long line while I observed several other people coming up to him to see if they could scoot in front. Thankfully everyone decided to either pass him and come to my line or wait behind him. People were starting to stare and I started feeling this deep nudge in my gut of empathy for this man. I watched as the cashier walked over to him and he handed her his credit card for the purchase. She was relatively pleasant and he explained that he couldn’t go near the register so would wait by the boxes for her. He then slowly held out his hand and I observed as he struggled for nearly a minute to open up his fist and drop some change into her hands for a few bags. By then it was my turn in line and I was pulled away from watching his struggle. As I breezed through, swiped my card, packed up my bags and turned, I noticed him standing by the door waiting and watching as the cashier rang everything up. My heart and my head just kept screaming to do something, say something, acknowledge him. (My bladder was screaming RUN FOR THE CAR!) I moved quickly to walk towards him as he turned to walk towards the door. There was an old lady, probably in her mid 80’s between us. He set the pace for the exit line, which seemed like it was in slow motion. You could tell every step was painful. He moved so slow that the old lady behind him gave an exasperated sigh and muttered “oh man, come on” more than once. His metal rings were banging and each move he made seemed to be in difficult. I waited patiently behind him as the old lady blew past him. I looked to my right where my car stood and to my left, where he was slowly turning and I knew I had to act.

C: Can I help you load those up in your car?

B: Really? You would?

C: Absolutely, let me bring these bags to my car and drop my cell phone off and I will be right back.

By the time I did that, he managed to move a few feet and I slowly walked with him back to his vehicle, where we unhinged the back of his blue beaten down truck. My mind was racing, what do I say? Just talk to him, the voice whispered back loudly.

C: How’s was your day today?

B: chuckled Hard.

C: I have to say, I really admire your drive to come out here today and get these groceries. It looked really hard. The line, the looks, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. You have severe epilepsy?

B: I actually have muscular dystrophy and the epilepsy is a side effect from that. It’s really hard. He managed a small smile.

C: How hard, you still seem to manage to have a good attitude despite it.

B: No, you should see me when I get home. It’s really really hard to keep living. The cell phones are so hard, when people have them near me, it can set me into a severe seizure. I ask people to put them away in stores and they say no. I had a seizure in a store the other day and a man just stepped over me while on his phone. No one sees me. Less and less stores are willing to help me. The cell phone towers made it hard. I don’t have a good attitude, I just try to make it through each day.

By then I had everything loaded into the back of his truck.

C: Let me return your cart, I will be right back with your quarter.

As I pushed the cart back, my heart ached for him. I turned back, returning with his quarter as he slowly loaded his metal rings into his car.

B: Why did you stop? His voice started to shake. No one ever stops. No one ever notices me. I am just a big inconvenience to people.

My emotions were starting to take over and my words weren’t articulate anymore.

C: I stopped because I noticed you and I saw how hard this must be for you. I admire your persistence to come out here and buy your groceries and face the difficulty that it must be.

We soon after wrapped up our conversation and I headed back to my car and drove home. The whole way I drove home I was so mad at myself for not asking his name, for not telling him that I would pray for him, for not even thinking to tell him that I stopped because God put it on my heart to do so. I wish I would have grabbed his hands and prayed out loud for him. I was so mad at myself for not letting him know who I represented. But even in those moments of self-frustration, I heard But you saw him. And that’s what he needed today. Let Me handle the rest.

Friends, I am so glad I saw Bill. I am so glad that I followed through on those promptings and was richly and deeply blessed by my encounter with him. If you could, stop right now and say a prayer for him. God knows his first name, He knows his pains, his struggles, his worries, his hardships. Pray that God will renew his spirit, that others would see Bill too and that he wouldn’t feel so alone. When we obey, God acts. We may never know how, but we can leave that part up to Him. (And just so you know, I actually didn’t even think twice about my bladder from the time I said something to Bill until the time I walked in the door.)

Favorite Quote: “Intentionally look around for measures of joy each day … Remember joy is a choice we make, not a feeling we hope to get from our circumstances. It’s good to look for the good to celebrate it, even in small ways.” –Lisa Terkeurst-

Favorite Meal: I got to enjoy a patio night with some girlfriends earlier this week and loved it. My salad was amazing, but even more so, I am so thankful for friends who can laugh together and do life with.

Favorite Funnies: Alright, this has gotten long so I will wrap this up with some giggles for the day. Enjoy and have a wonderful weekend!

But wait, there’s more!!! Here’s an added bonus Favorite –

Favorite TV Clip: Bobbie Thomas opened up about her journey with IVF on the Today Show this week and I found it incredibly touching. One of the best videos I have seen about what’s it’s like. If you want to peer into our world for a few minutes today, I encourage you to check out this link. — click here for the video. (The image below is just an image and will not direct you to the video. You will likely get a 15-second commercial prior to the video starting.) I promise, it’s worth it.

randomness.

August 5, 201432 Comments

Welcome to the most random blog post. Today you will get an invitation into the questions and ramblings of my brain. Please don’t be scared.

– Why does Bruce Jenner have this awkward mullet-thing happening? Can someone let him know it just doesn’t look good?

– Why did I waste time watching Bachelor in Paradise and why was it so amusing? It was like a drama filled train wreck that I couldn’t turn off. (In my defense, I worked on laundry while watching it so it was just “background noise”.) Robert getting attacked by fire ants made me laugh. Now that’s romantic.

I so wish this was a GIF.

– Why is it so easy to feel “stuck” sometimes? I had a few friends reach out to me yesterday in their own special ways and it was such a blessing. In a journey this long and slow, it’s easy to feel left behind at times. I get to stand back and wave as everyone struggles, finally succeeds, has a baby, starts working on #2, struggles, succeeds … lather, rinse, repeat. There are times I feel like everyone has forgotten that this is still really hard for me. After 5 and a half years, it almost feels like people are either completing forgetting about our struggles or just saying Oh poor Chelsea, still trying …. Doesn’t she know by now it’s probably not going to happen? Because it has been so long, do people just assume that it gets easier? More often than not lately, I have felt trapped by conversations about kids and mothering. Hi! Still here! No kids! Can we wind this convo down? It’s been a half hour since I could contribute something. Now, that sounds worse than I intend it to. I simply mean that as time goes by, it can at times feel like the sensitivity factor lessens. The time spent waiting doesn’t getting easier, it feels like a daily battle against time and dreams. Am I alone in ever feeling like this?

All of that said, I am still incredibly grateful to be stuck where I am. If nothing in my life every changed in regards to my fertility, I would still have the bomb.com kind of life. I don’t take those blessings for granted and strive to just keep praying for continued peace and reassurance that our hopes and prayers are not in vain.

– What to say when …. ? Being back at work has been busy, but fun. It’s great to see familiar faces, but every time I see some that I haven’t seen since last April, I get the question “So what have you been up to since you left!?” Well, I have enough common sense not to blurt out, “Well, let’s see. I have done 3 more IVF cycles, had another miscarriage, needed a D&C surgery, went under the knife for a laparoscopy and hysteroscopy surgery, gone gluten free, had to eliminate carbs and sugars from my diet, visit a acupuncturist weekly and oh yea, am still barren. How about you!?” But instead I mutter something about enjoying a slower pace or traveling or spending time with friends and family. Their look expresses that they don’t quite understand, but I figure it’s better than verbally vomiting on them. I promise, I am not lazy! How would you handle this? I think I just have to take one for the team and accept that I don’t need anyone’s validation on my life’s choices. Eh, still humbling.

– Does anyone have any good chicken recipes to share? Yes, something gluten and carb free preferably. I am feeling a little stuck in my meal planning rut and need to shake things up. Comment below please!

Until next time … XOXO!