the new plan and how you can help.

November 9, 201432 Comments

There has been 387 days between the date of our last transfer and today. 387 long days. I remember typing this post about our 4^th cycle failure like it was yesterday. I remember sharing with you all that we were being called into a season of putting a hold on fertility treatments and let me tell you, it’s been a long year. Between last October and today, I have seen a naturopathic doctor, an acupuncturist, had a laparoscopy surgery done and many tests run, drunk teas, sucked down pills and above all, prayed for wisdom, guidance and direction. This wait has been LONG. And yet even though it has felt unproductive compared to years past, both Josh and I felt incredible peace that this was exactly where we were supposed to be, even though it wasn’t easy.

Then a month or so ago both of our hearts started stirring, feeling like we were supposed to restart up treatments. I don’t think either of us were prepared to start thinking about it again and the thought of jumping back into things caught me a little off guard. We began to talk and pray and felt that gentle nudging to make some calls.

I reached out to 2 new clinics in the area. One thing Josh and I felt strongly about was the need for a second opinion, a new set of eyes, a fresh space. Doctor consults can often be booked out 6-8 weeks so I made a call, thinking that we would sit down with them towards the end of the year. Imagine my surprise when one of them shared that they had a cancellation just open up – for 3 days later. (The other being consistent with the longer timeline we were expecting.) With a swiftness that could only be God, charts were exchanged, papers were filled out, and there we were, walking into a new RE, waiting to hear his thoughts on our case. I instantly felt relief when he said that he still has hope for our case, even though I know that our hope is found in God. Still it was reassuring that he felt so positive for us. The hour we spent with him was incredibly educational and we loved how he explained his thoughts and our options.

For the sake of brevity, the plan he proposed is that we do a few IUI (artificial insemination) cycles using Femara and a trigger shot, which I have responded to well in the past, combined with estrogen and progesterone supplementation.. He also wants to put me back on Metformin to improve my egg quality and felt strongly about completing some more blood test to ensure that my reoccurring miscarriages haven’t been caused by any autoimmune disorders. We have done a few of these tests in the past and I am in full agreement that we need to complete the panels. Regardless of how the results come back, we will add in Lovenox injections which are useful for a whole slew of things. If this doesn’t work, the next step would be to do another IVF cycle. This clinic in particular only does cycles 4 times a year, making the next one we would be eligible for at the end of March. After our appointment, we continued to pray. My prayers were that God would make it abundantly obvious if we were supposed to move forward. The nudging in our hearts that it was time to step out again seemed so clear, but still, I kept praying for two things – 1) that God would make it very evident that moving forward with IUI/IVF was His plan and 2) that the financial part of these medicated cycles would be provided for.

Within a DAY, and I mean a DAY, God answered both of these requests clearly. The first answer occurred while I was sitting in my Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) meeting the next morning, where we were talking about Moses, specifically Exodus 14. Our lecturer was talking about how the Israelites were standing in front of the Red Sea while the Egyptians were chasing after them. My lesson picks up here:

“Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.”

What God spoke to me was that sometimes He brings us to the point where we are supposed to be waiting. (Like the Israelites did for 400+ years.) But then other times He brings us right before our answer to prayer and says “Why are you still standing still?? Stop talking. It’s time to move forward.” Had Moses not acted and lifted up his staff, had the Israelites not taken those scary steps into the parted Red Sea, the story would have ended there. But instead, it was time to move forward in faith. That day God affirmed “I will fight for you – it’s time to move forward.” Message heard, loud and clear. (This is one of many affirmations that have come my way since offering up that prayer!)

He then answered the financial part in a variety of ways. At the start of the week I was committed to a job share position, which ended up changing into a short-term, full-coverage opportunity, giving me more hours. I then was contacted by an Editor in Chief at a large online fertility resource website, who asked ME, little old me, to become a paid blogger for them starting in December. (I never reached out to them, this was completely God-initiated. And I said yes so more on that to come in another post!) And then I had 2 friends, within a few days of each other, reach out to me, offering to use their online businesses to throw a fundraising product party, both offering to donate 100% of the commission earned to our medical treatments, without any conversation about our future direction. Wow. God, you are so good!

So let me summarize – we are doing this again!!!!

The plan is to get some blood work done this Friday and then start 28 days on birth control to reset things. Then after that, we are going to move forward with a Femara+trigger shot IUI cycle. I could see how to some of you, it feels like we are stepping backwards, since my IUI days are years behind me, however there is SO MUCH PEACE in this new plan and we are GIDDY to get things going. And of course, excited to see how God will act. We can’t do this without the prayers and support of those around us, so THANK YOU!

With all that said – now how can you help!?

Continue to pray for us. This is the biggest way. Prayers, vibes, energy, whatever you can throw , we will take it. I know those prayers go from your mouth to His ears.
Another way is to shop! For the next 10 days, there are 2 online parties being thrown by two generous friends to assist with the medical costs involved. Please do not feel ANY pressure to make a purchase, but if you are looking for any Norwex or Younique products, I would love and appreciate you using these parties to make your purchase! Being able to receive some assistance through these amazing women’s commission is nothing short of an answer to prayer.
Feel free to share the event link with your friends/family. There will be an entirely separate link (www.trialsbringjoy.com/fundraiser/) that will give you information on where you can do this online shopping, complete with details on purchasing and without boring anyone with all these details above.
Lastly, I ask that you pray a special blessing over the lives of Annie and Jana, both of the women who has made this offer and are allowing Him to answer our prayers through their generous kindness. God knows exactly what prayers are on their hearts and so I simply ask that you lift up a prayer of gratitude and blessing over them.

These online parties will run from today (November 9^th) until November 18^th (next Tuesday). Again, if you are not in a place to make a purchase, please don’t feel any pressure. But if you are and are looking to support these next steps of ours, Josh and I both would appreciate it more than you know. Plus YOU get some fun products from 2 great companies! I call that a win-win!

Thank you again for all of the prayers for wisdom and guidance over these last years. It’s hard to believe it’s been nearly 6 years of trying and waiting, but I am trusting that GREAT things are ahead! XOXO!

CLICK HERE FOR ALL FUNDRAISING DETAILS!

storyline.

October 30, 201411 Comments

I’m sitting here waiting for the Storyline Conference to start and am completely overwhelmed with the beauty of what’s to come. The conference touches on what to do with the story of our life and how we can use it to partner with God to reach others. “Living great stories involves changing the way we approach life. To live a great story, we need to know who we are, what we want, what conflicts/tragedies we need to engage and then we must take action.”

This breakout already has me emotionally empowered and emptied and it hasn’t even happened yet.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I process the story God is giving me …. Today is going to be a beautiful, messy day. I can’t wait.

Ps – lunch time talk? Bring on these healing tears.

PPS – I brought 38 pens.

the joy comes in the morning.

October 7, 2014October 7, 201421 Comments

The summer before 11th grade, our youth group decided to take a camping trip to Tennessee. Being that I don’t like to camp and dislike all things “roughing it” in general, I thought it was a great idea to go. (No, really, I have no clue why I thought this was a good idea.) Add in some friends, a chance to do something cool away from home and the opportunity to shop for some new outdoorsy clothes and I was on the list.

Now I had done the summer camp thing loads of times before. A warm cozy cabin set a few hundred feet away from a full bathroom, pool and snack shop? I’m game. My idea of roughing it was having to use a sleeping bag for a blanket and only being able to pack 2 pillows. I was certain that this couldn’t be too different. A tent sounded fun! I bet it was a cute one too. And it was called “Confrontation Point”. That couldn’t mean anything right?

Wrong.

We pulled up to the campgrounds, er, well, basically a forest. As we trotted our way through the weaves of the trails, our leader finally called out “We are here!”. Here? Wait what? Where were the cute tents? The bathrooms? I thought the whole ‘bring your bio-degradable shampoo’ thing was just a 2001-attempt to start a “go green” trend. Huh?

Before I knew it, everyone around me started dropping their backpacks on the ground (wait, I don’t want to get mine dirty!) and pulling out tarps. What is going on!?! I shouldn’t have talked and passed notes during all of the pre-trip meetings! Before I knew it, tarps were being tied to two close trees, with the bottom corners staked to the ground. Where were the tents? We were sleeping on a tarp on the ground with another tarp loosely tied overhead? I wanted to faint. What about the bugs?

Time out. For those of you who don’t know me well, you now need to know that I am terrified of spiders. Like, shriek, dance, shake and cry. The spotting of a spider across the house can typically cause the neighbors to be concerned. I shudder just writing the word spider. Ughhhh. (I have never even watched the Harry Potter scenes with any spiders. My eyes have always remained closed. Even fake spiders freak me out.)

Okay, time in. Campsite is set up, fire is built, everyone around me seems to be frolicking with joy about this whole nature thing, and I wanted to cry. No new clothes, time with friends, or summer adventure was worth being this outside my comfort zone.

Ugh, why did my hair keep tickling my arms? I kept brushing my shoulders off absent-mindedly. What was I going to do? Tickle, tickle. Again? As I glanced down to pull my hair back, I saw it. IT. A gigantic daddy-long legs spider that was about the size of a baseball, crawling up my arm. (Granted, my memory could be playing tricks on me but this is what I remember. HUGE HUGE spiders.)

Well, you can only imagine the scene from there. I was horrified, terrified, crying, screaming, you name it. And that’s when a few other people commented that they had spiders on them too. No one seemed to be hyperventilating like me though. “Oh don’t worry about those! They are completely harmless.” Our guide told me, “They actually just live in the trees and fall out of them. Just brush them off.”

I actually don’t think a paragraph is needed to try to articulate my horrified reaction. The next thing I know, I am talking (okay, sobbing) to our youth group leader that I need to find a payphone. I ran back up the trails to the shelter and with shakey hands, found my 35 cents to call my mom.

Chelsea (me): (wailing) “Mom, you have to come and get meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.”

Mom: What are you saying honey?

C: Youuuuuu hhhaaaaavveeeeeeee to come and get meeeeeeeeee. Spiidddeeerrrrrrssssssss.

M: Take a deep breath, I can’t understand you.

Well, it took some time and another 50 cents but I eventually was able to explain to her the horror that was my youth group “retreat” and the urgent need for her to drive from Chicago to Tennessee to pick me up. Imagine my surprise when she lovingly said that wasn’t possible.

Plan B. Find a hotel.

Well, my youth group leader didn’t agree with that idea OR with my idea to let me sleep in the van the whole time. Yada yada yada, not safe to be alone in the van a few miles from the campgrounds. Either way, it was clear and evident that this would be my week to die. Confrontation Point had to do with confronting your fears? Oh boy ….

To be honest, it’s hard for me to explain how truly terrified I was that first night sleeping on the ground knowing that the tiny tinks I was hearing on the tarp above was likely light, fluttery, can’t-really-feel-them spiders falling down on me. Someone from my group gave me a little stuffed animal, a Junior Asparagus Veggie Tales toy, that when you squeezed him would sing “God is bigger than the boogey man, He’s bigger than Godzilla or the monsters on TV, Oh God is bigger than the boogey man and He’s watching out for you and me. So are you frightened (no not really), are you worried (not a bit!). I know whatever’s gonna happen, that God can handle it …” Squeeze. Repeat. Squeeze. Repeat. I am certain that the entire group heard that song over and over and over again all night long, along with my muffled sobs.

But then the next day came and we were off to our next adventure. White water rafting, repelling, hiking, there was enough distractions until dusk set in. Then the fear kicked in and the long, long nights.

I just went and pulled out my old journals that I had on that trip and found several entries scribbled in there – this one kind of made me giggle.

(Dated August 6, 2001 – age 16)

(At least I apologized for disliking His creation, HA!)

Every time morning would come, I would repeat this verse in my head.

(Apparently I brought markers with to this camp.)

Now hear me out – how many times in life have we been faced with something we just don’t want to go through? A situation where you need to confront someone else? A trial with a boss or friend? Facing your fears with something or carrying the heaviness of something like infertility, a broken marriage, looming debt, the death of someone we loved, a terrifying diagnosis or an addiction? The weight of the night rests on us and we just want out.

God, please, take this away from me. Can you come pick me up? I don’t want to face this. No? Then can I have an easy way out? Sleep in the van? Find a hotel? Do anything but face my fears?

The night seems to never end.

But at some point my friends, it ends. The sun rises. And perhaps it only rises briefly. Maybe there is another night you have to spend in the tent, facing your fears, fighting your obstacles, crying as you pray. But then there is a break – and the joy comes in the morning.

You know what? That week in Tennessee was really hard for me. I can’t tell you how many times the words “SPIDERS” appeared in my journal, how many times I squeezed Junior Asparagus and how many times I slapped my body, certain there was a spider crawling on me. But somehow, somehow, I made it through that trip. And you know what I wrote in my journal at the end?

“THIS IS AWESOME….it’s cool that .. I’m toughing it out.”

Pride. A sense of gratitude for His presence that went with me into what felt like the scariest and darkest of nights. A strength that I could get through my biggest fears and a spiritual growth that I wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t been forced to stay.

Sometimes we have to stay through the nights. I beg, routinely, to be “picked up” from the infertility camp. And for some reason, I’m still here. But you know what, I am learning so much. About God, about myself, about my marriage and about compassion. I know one day, I will look back on all of it and say “THIS IS AWESOME.”, I really do believe that.

Oceans by Hillsong doesn’t say “Spirit lead me where I am comfortable. Let me walk upon the waters wherever its convenient…” How can we expect to gain trust without borders if we are constantly asking to stay in our little cabin, away from anything that would challenge us?

The joy comes with the morning … and so we patiently (and not-so-patiently) wait for morning to come. Because we are not alone, and because if we are willing, we have so much to learn during the nights.

friday favorites – august 15.

August 15, 2014August 15, 20145 Comments

Happy Friday friends! Does summer seem to be flying by for anyone else? Granted, I love so many things about fall, but as a Minnesotan, I savor every drop of summer I can! If anyone participates in the #FridayIntroductions on instagram with @jessaconnolly and @thetinytwig, you would have seen that last week’s question prompt was asking ‘what are you looking forward to about fall?’. This question made me excited to answer as my brain started spinning about the upcoming ROUTINE that would soon be established, the scarves and boots and sweaters to be pulled out, the pumpkin spice lattes and apple ciders to be consumed and the apple scented EVERYTHING to be set up around my house. I love the freedom and flexibility that summer offers, but I am also ready to get settled into new fall Bible studies and patterns. So I will continue to enjoy these last few summer days while they last, knowing that good things are ahead as well.

Ok, let’s jump into Friday Favorites!

Favorite Crop: My mother-in-law has a garden at our family cabin and the zucchini plants are going nuts! We were sent home this weekend with these beauties and have enjoyed zucchini noodles, zucchini breads, zucchini sautés, zucchini soups and many other zucchini snacks. Delish! (And yes, I managed to find a great gluten, dairy and sugar free zucchini bread recipe – I still want to tweak the recipe a bit before I share, but according to my sister, it was one of the “best things she’s eaten in a long time.” The drama runs thick in our family folks.)

The fork is there for size comparison … yes, they are HUGE!

Favorite Meal: Can you go wrong with kebobs in the summer? When asking for chicken recipes, one reader suggested kebobs and it has sounded so yummy ever since. We threw some chicken and steak on skewers, added tons of fresh veggies on others and even diced up a pineapple too. The overall flavor created in 15-20 minutes on a hot grill was perfection. This is what summers are all about!

Favorite Things I’m Looking Forward to: Um, is it childish to say my birthday? The big day is next Tuesday, the 19^th, and I just love everything that has to do with birthdays. I love the parties, the celebrations, the excuse to get together with friends and family, the note that fill my mailbox, the affirmative words that are given over Facebook and Instagram … it has nothing to do with presents and everything to do with feeling so loved. So I get to celebrate turning 29 and spending it with people I care deeply about. WIN!

Oh yea, and there’s this little trip to San Diego we are taking soon too that is making my heart beat faster and my smile spread bigger. I can’t wait!

Favorite Surprise: My dear friends Marilyn and Danielle showered me with surprise love this week. I was so thankful for their kind thinking-of-you gifts and encouraging words that filled the cards. Check out my new Alex and Ani anchor bracelet – inspired by Hebrews 6:18-19 “… So we who have found safety with Him are greatly encouraged to hold firmly to the hope placed before us. We have this hope as an anchor for our lives…”

Plus all these fun goodies!

A notebook? Tea? Colored pencils? Hair ties that sparkle? These girls know me well. I am so blessed!

Favorite Photo: A tie – it’s either this one of Cali and her auntie Bella, who both were waiting for the chipmunks to appear at the cabin this weekend (“Ummm, where are they?”) and this casual attempt at a selfie with Cali. Her face cracks me up – she CLEARLY has no interest in taking selfies with her mom. She is 8 after all.

Favorite Award: I recently was nominated by three fellow bloggers for a Very Inspiring Blogger Award! Thank you Mel, Elisha and Alexandria for this nomination – you all inspire me and I feel thankful to be on the receiving end of this. You ladies are awesome and I’d nominate you back if it wasn’t counter productive!

Here’s how the award works:

1.Thank and link the amazing person(s) who nominated you.

http://thereisahigherhope.blogspot.com/

http://waitingforbabybird.com/

http://inallthings828.wordpress.com/

2.List the rules and display the award.

3. Share seven facts about yourself. I will make these quick facts for the sake of your reading time …

1) I am the oldest child of 2, separated by a little over 4 years from my younger sister Courtney. I am wired so consistently with oldest-child traits that it’s a little scary.

2) When I am stressing and driving, I find listening to the radio on ‘scan’ to be incredibly soothing. I have no idea why.

3) I prefer paper planners to electronic planners but have to keep up with both since my husband relies on our shared iPhone calendar. (But really, nothing beats the beauty and simplicity of paper and pen.)

4) If I had to chose any cheese in the world to be my favorite, it would be, without a doubt, feta. The delicious briney Greek kind. I literally could add feta to anything. If only it had no calories…

5) I still haven’t updated my iPhone software to iOS 7. It might have to do with my resistance to change. But because of that, I can’t update about half my apps or use FaceTime anymore. Oh well, I am perfectly happy with my little phone.

6) Daisies are my favorite flower. In the words of Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail “”They’re so friendly. Don’t you think that daisies are the friendliest flowers?” I wish my house could be filled with them.

7) As a child I dreamed about getting the chance to speak at large conferences. Every convention I went to, I sent up a prayer that someday, I could be that person making speaking and impact. Who knows what’s ahead for me – it’s still a giant passion!

And lastly, I get to nominate some others who have inspired me! Without further ado … meet Caroline, who’s faith and heart for the Lord inspires me daily (subscribe to her blog and receive awesome verse-of-the-week posts each Monday!), Charity – who trusts the Lord with such steadfastness that it makes my heart swell (and also bakes amazing cookies), Anna, a real-life friend who has seen her share of pain after losing her first born daughter and yet still shines with beautiful faith and authenticity, and Justine, who’s raw posts and words of hope, recovery and struggle lifts my spirits. Thanks ladies for being a light to all who cross paths with you. Keep writing and know I will keep reading! (Feel free to keep the award going by following the above steps and passing along the nomination love!)

Favorite Funnies:

Have a great weekend friends!

friday favorites – august 8th.

August 8, 2014August 8, 201411 Comments

Whooo hoooo! Another Friday! My dad sent this to me this morning and I feel like it’s fitting:

Here we go!

Favorite Moment: After all our family had left after such a fun trip, Josh and I got to enjoy a date night and boy, did we have a blast! We first headed down to St. Paul where our friend Jason’s food truck (Jake’s Street Grill – check them out if you are in the Twin Cities area!) was stationed at an outdoor festival. We saved our weekly “cheat meal” for this occasion and Josh enjoyed some wings and I had lobster and shrimp tacos. OMG – SO GOOD! Anytime you put fresh seafood on a corn tortilla and add fresh pico, guac and cheese, well, you can bet I am swooning. From there we took a pit stop at Cabella’s, which is a favorite store of my hubby’s, a breeze through Starbucks for a cup of tea, and then we drove to the drive-in theater where we parked, played cards for an hour, then leaned back into the thousands of pillows and blankets we brought. We watched Planes 2 and Guardians of the Galaxy – both great! The weather was perfect and the company was my favorite. :)

Favorite Drink: I love Yogi teas and have found 3 that I have particularly been crushing on the last few weeks. I love the Green Team Blueberry Slim Tea iced, the Berry Detox hot and the Bedtime tea at night. Holy cow, the Bedtime tea knocks me out like a drug! There is something magical that is laced in there that puts my mind into an instant sleep-mode. Give them a try! (Plus the tags always have such a great little sayings on there too.)

Favorite Act of Obedience: You know those times when you are prompted to do something and you ignore it? And then the times that you are prompted to do something and you follow through? Well, I had one of those this week and am so glad that I listened to His gentle whisper.

It happened yesterday at the end of a long work day. My bladder was pleading for me to drive faster and my brain was reminding me of the meal I signed up to bring to a church friend and the groceries I had yet to buy for it. Stop now, make your bladder your motivator to get through Aldi fast. I swung through the store, racing around and pulled up to the front to check-out, noticing 2 cashiers working, one with a long line behind her and the other empty, just finishing checking someone out. I dashed to the near empty line and that’s when I noticed him. (He looked like a Bill, so that’s what I will call him.) He was about 40, standing far away from the register, almost in the first aisle, but facing the register.

Me (C): Are you in line?

B: Well, yes kinda of, you see …

And that’s when I noticed all that was going on. He had several copper rings wrapped around his neck, large ones, almost touching his belly button. His head was covered in a fishing hat that looked like it was lined with aluminum foil. On his right shoulder he held more large metal rings, those ones silver and he was resting on a cane while leaning into his cart. Around his neck he wore a huge cardboard sign that said “SEVERE EPILEPSY – PLEASE, NO CELL PHONE NEAR ME.”

He continued.

B: You can go ahead, you see I have to wait for her to come to me …

C: Oh gosh, you’re fine, no worries, I will just go in this other line.

My brain was still trying to process everything and I turned to wait in the long line while I observed several other people coming up to him to see if they could scoot in front. Thankfully everyone decided to either pass him and come to my line or wait behind him. People were starting to stare and I started feeling this deep nudge in my gut of empathy for this man. I watched as the cashier walked over to him and he handed her his credit card for the purchase. She was relatively pleasant and he explained that he couldn’t go near the register so would wait by the boxes for her. He then slowly held out his hand and I observed as he struggled for nearly a minute to open up his fist and drop some change into her hands for a few bags. By then it was my turn in line and I was pulled away from watching his struggle. As I breezed through, swiped my card, packed up my bags and turned, I noticed him standing by the door waiting and watching as the cashier rang everything up. My heart and my head just kept screaming to do something, say something, acknowledge him. (My bladder was screaming RUN FOR THE CAR!) I moved quickly to walk towards him as he turned to walk towards the door. There was an old lady, probably in her mid 80’s between us. He set the pace for the exit line, which seemed like it was in slow motion. You could tell every step was painful. He moved so slow that the old lady behind him gave an exasperated sigh and muttered “oh man, come on” more than once. His metal rings were banging and each move he made seemed to be in difficult. I waited patiently behind him as the old lady blew past him. I looked to my right where my car stood and to my left, where he was slowly turning and I knew I had to act.

C: Can I help you load those up in your car?

B: Really? You would?

C: Absolutely, let me bring these bags to my car and drop my cell phone off and I will be right back.

By the time I did that, he managed to move a few feet and I slowly walked with him back to his vehicle, where we unhinged the back of his blue beaten down truck. My mind was racing, what do I say? Just talk to him, the voice whispered back loudly.

C: How’s was your day today?

B: chuckled Hard.

C: I have to say, I really admire your drive to come out here today and get these groceries. It looked really hard. The line, the looks, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. You have severe epilepsy?

B: I actually have muscular dystrophy and the epilepsy is a side effect from that. It’s really hard. He managed a small smile.

C: How hard, you still seem to manage to have a good attitude despite it.

B: No, you should see me when I get home. It’s really really hard to keep living. The cell phones are so hard, when people have them near me, it can set me into a severe seizure. I ask people to put them away in stores and they say no. I had a seizure in a store the other day and a man just stepped over me while on his phone. No one sees me. Less and less stores are willing to help me. The cell phone towers made it hard. I don’t have a good attitude, I just try to make it through each day.

By then I had everything loaded into the back of his truck.

C: Let me return your cart, I will be right back with your quarter.

As I pushed the cart back, my heart ached for him. I turned back, returning with his quarter as he slowly loaded his metal rings into his car.

B: Why did you stop? His voice started to shake. No one ever stops. No one ever notices me. I am just a big inconvenience to people.

My emotions were starting to take over and my words weren’t articulate anymore.

C: I stopped because I noticed you and I saw how hard this must be for you. I admire your persistence to come out here and buy your groceries and face the difficulty that it must be.

We soon after wrapped up our conversation and I headed back to my car and drove home. The whole way I drove home I was so mad at myself for not asking his name, for not telling him that I would pray for him, for not even thinking to tell him that I stopped because God put it on my heart to do so. I wish I would have grabbed his hands and prayed out loud for him. I was so mad at myself for not letting him know who I represented. But even in those moments of self-frustration, I heard But you saw him. And that’s what he needed today. Let Me handle the rest.

Friends, I am so glad I saw Bill. I am so glad that I followed through on those promptings and was richly and deeply blessed by my encounter with him. If you could, stop right now and say a prayer for him. God knows his first name, He knows his pains, his struggles, his worries, his hardships. Pray that God will renew his spirit, that others would see Bill too and that he wouldn’t feel so alone. When we obey, God acts. We may never know how, but we can leave that part up to Him. (And just so you know, I actually didn’t even think twice about my bladder from the time I said something to Bill until the time I walked in the door.)

Favorite Quote: “Intentionally look around for measures of joy each day … Remember joy is a choice we make, not a feeling we hope to get from our circumstances. It’s good to look for the good to celebrate it, even in small ways.” –Lisa Terkeurst-

Favorite Meal: I got to enjoy a patio night with some girlfriends earlier this week and loved it. My salad was amazing, but even more so, I am so thankful for friends who can laugh together and do life with.

Favorite Funnies: Alright, this has gotten long so I will wrap this up with some giggles for the day. Enjoy and have a wonderful weekend!

But wait, there’s more!!! Here’s an added bonus Favorite –

Favorite TV Clip: Bobbie Thomas opened up about her journey with IVF on the Today Show this week and I found it incredibly touching. One of the best videos I have seen about what’s it’s like. If you want to peer into our world for a few minutes today, I encourage you to check out this link. — click here for the video. (The image below is just an image and will not direct you to the video. You will likely get a 15-second commercial prior to the video starting.) I promise, it’s worth it.

friday favorites – august 1

August 1, 20146 Comments

Happy August! Gulp, August? Where have the days gone? Personally, August is a favorite month of mine so I am secretly excited, except it does mean the summer days are winding down. Sad. But this month we have a trip to San Diego to look forward to, my birthday, my grandparents coming into town, the Minnesota State Fair and much much more. So let the fun begin!

Okay, be prepared, this Friday favorite is totally my-life related. We have been having so much fun having my aunt, uncle, and cousins in town and this last week has been busy and full of awesome moments. So here is a Family Friday Favorites edition!

Favorite Moment(s): Playing mini golf with my cousins, exploring Fort Snelling, showing off the Mall of America, trying to bowl, laughing loudly while playing Apples to Apples, and in general, just creating so many fun memories.

(Cali’s) Favorite New Friend: Cali fell in love with my Uncle Jimmy and basically melted into his arms as he carried her around the house. I mean, seriously, how cute is this? She has found her new place of bliss.

Favorite Crop: Our green beans are finally ready for picking and eating! Well, okay, so many there aren’t enough for a whole meal, but we are excited that the seeds we planted actually produced a mini harvest. Yum!

Favorite Quote: “Fear less, Hope more, Whine less, Breathe more, Talk less, Say more, Hate less, Love more.”

Favorite Song: Is anyone else cranking up “Boom Clap” by Charli XCX every time it comes on the radio? It’s so catchy! Plus it reminds me of The Fault in Our Stars. I am sure I will be sick of it in a week since it plays every 16 minutes on one station or another but this week, I love it.

Favorite Mistake: Awww, I decided to try trimming Cali’s hair for our incoming guests. I mean, she is small and it didn’t seem that tough. Well, once I got the scissors in my hand it seems that I became incredibly uncoordinated and slightly blind. Poor Cali got a little butchered but I laugh whenever I look at her … I’m like that mom that tries to give her daughter bangs and we all know how that story turns out!

Favorite Reminder: Trying to balance this week has been tough. Super fun, but tough. It’s been a busy one at work and truthfully, I don’t want to have to be worrying about work, I want to be with my family! As I was driving home the other night, trying to think about what I couldn’t forget to do in the office tomorrow, what I was going to do tonight, the groceries that needed to be shopped for, the laundry that needed to be washed and put away, the friends that needed to be called back, a blog post to write, the blank ‘thank you’ cards that needed to be written out, and on and on and on, I couldn’t help but feel a bit overwhelmed. But then I was quickly reminded that I can thrive in chaos. I made lists. I prioritized. I tried to think about what mattered and what I could delay slightly in order to maintain my sanity. I knew this week in particular I had to prioritize my devotional time in the mornings first – getting my head cleared and foundation reset; then focusing on the must-do’s at work and setting aside the things that could wait; then spending time with the people I love. Laundry can wait. We have food that we can piece together. The notecards can wait as long as I texted my gratitude. Basically I needed to remind myself that it was okay to not be able to do it all for a week. Yes, some people were probably disappointed and inconvenienced, my blog was left untouched for a whole week, my cards might arrive a little late, we may have just eaten a salad made from leftover greens, feta cheese and watermelon (because that’s all that’s in the fridge) and that’s okay. When I think back to this week a year from now, I won’t remember the salad or the need for clean white tank tops. I will remember the laughs, the trips, the joy of being with others. Remember today that it’s okay to let go of some of the little things. Make lists. There is a mental freedom that comes with seeing everything on paper – it’s a little less overwhelming. (I carry a small notebook in my purse at all times in order to jot down things to do as it comes to me.) I had to be reminded this week I can’t always do it all and that doesn’t make me any less capable.

Favorite Funnies: Enjoy!

Okay friends! I am off … next week I should be able to get a post or two out between Fridays. I am thankful for your patience when life gets busy. XOXO!

friday favorites – june 13.

June 13, 201413 Comments

Whooo hooo! It’s time for this week’s edition of Friday Favorites? Who’s excited?

Let’s jump right in.

Favorite Moment:

My favorite moments this week were centered around friendships. I had so many great conversations (and food) with special people in my life this week. Crispy buffalo wings and saucy fingers while Josh and I sat across from Andrea and Ricky, chattering away summer plans, weddings and hunting (you can probably guess who was having which conversation.) Fish tacos in the sun on a beautiful afternoon in Uptown with Alicia, sipping Chamomile Mint iced tea and chatting about life and its ever so present highs and lows. A few days later, creamy cashew chicken salad served out of a pineapple with Sarena, words pouring out of our mouths about how God is moving and working in our lives. Then at a kitchen island with Jana, a Starbucks in hand, a candle burning on the stove and a 5 year old Chloe carefully applying her Hello Kitty lipgloss next to me. As I sat across from Jana, my soul was refreshed as we processed life, challenging one another and laughing as we carefully applied polish to our fingernails. Authentic relationships can be hard to come by and it was in each of these moments where I realized how grateful I am to have such beautiful relationships in my life. People I can laugh with, cry with, vent and be honest with. These moments are so very special.

Favorite Product:

A few months back I got a sample of Dr. Jart+ BB Beauty Balm Cream in my Birchbox and fell in love with it. I went out to Sephora and bought the full-size tube of it and have used it every day since then. It’s a little pricey (I got the kind with the sunscreen) but I bought it in early March and it still has another good couple of months left to it, so well worth the money. I particularly love it during these summer months since it’s light weight and easy. (And if you ever are interested in getting in on the Birchbox fun, let me know and I will send you an invite so you can skip the wait!)

Favorite Photo Taken:

This picture was just captured earlier today at the start of an outside dance party. In my books, when a good song comes out, you drop whatever you are doing (in our case, making a play-doh spider) and move to the rhythm. (Plus their adorable outfits just make this auntie smile!)

Favorite Project Completed:

Do you ever have those projects that just loom over your head? The ones you keep putting off and that when enough time passes, you begin to rationalize that doesn’t need to be done anymore? (I’m raising my hand.) For me it was boxes in my basement. A mixed assortment of unpacked boxes from our move (3 and a half years ago …) and a collection of junk that has grown and grown and grown. Well, enough was enough! My amazing sister came over early on her day off and we tackled the boxes. We ran bins and bags over to the Salvation Army, filled up the garbage can, and oooohed and ahhhhed over memories we ran across. Man, it feels SO good to be done! As I laid back in bed Tuesday night, I couldn’t help but think “why didn’t I do that sooner???” (And seriously, Courtney, thank you SO MUCH for helping me! You kept me focused and on track!)

Of course we found time to stop for an ever-important iced coffee at Starbucks! We may be sweaty but at least we are caffeinated.

Favorite Meal:

Easy! It was a gluten free sandwich that my sister and I shared midst our work on Tuesday. We ran down to St. Paul to use a Groupon to the Finnish Bistro (a favorite!) and met this yummy combination of flavors. It was an open-faced slow braised pork sandwich that was topped with sautéed cabbage and onions, melted Swiss Cheese and a creamy Thousand Island dressing. It was drool worthy and I wish I had a picture! We ate it was too fast for that though.

Favorite Funnies:

Okay, this totally is going to be a favorite section to do. So many giggles!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! Thanks for reading!

awards and randomness.

February 4, 201413 Comments

My thoughts have been scattered recently. I don’t have a full post with direction and after sitting on that fact for over 2 weeks, I realize that my posts don’t have to be perfect, nor do they have to have a lengthy point. So today I simply bring you some randomness and a TTC update – and with it I will hopefully break out of my no posting rut!!

While unintentionally away, I was nominated for 3 blogging awards, so fun! I gotta admit, I felt like dancing around like the dad from Christmas Story shouting “I won, I won, I won!” I mean, blogging love feels like I a warm hug, so thank you to these awesome ladies who thought of me.

My friend over at Tales of a Twin Mombie nominated me for the Liebster Award and instructed me to answer the ten questions she created as part of the nomination. Since I have a few other questions to answer with the other awards, I picked my favorite 5 questions – here you go!

What led you to start your blog and how long have you been blogging?

I started blogging in the spring of 2012 (which seems like yesterday and an eternity ago, all at the same time) simply based on the fact that I felt called to share our story and struggle with others. It took a while, in fact I had the website registered for almost 6 months before taking the plunge, but am so glad I did. It has blessed my life SO much. In fact, in a few more posts, I will be celebrating my 100^th entry! Whoa!

If you could recommend a MUST READ, what would it be and why?

I am a READER. Anyone who knows me can attest to that. My books are well loved, often dressed in crinkled pages as a result of being dropped in the bathtub or tossed into a purse. So to narrow it down to ONE must read!? I can’t image. But one of my favorite books to read is Blue Bistro by Elin Hildebrand. There is something about her writing that I love (her older work especially) and I am a foodie too, so this is a perfect blend of all things great. Another recommendation of a good book that you can laugh and cry (okay, bawl) to is Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah. Oh and Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. Actually anything by her is fantastic. For Christian books on infertility I highly recommend Hannah’s Hope by Jennifer Saake.

I better stop now. If you ever need a book recommendation though, just shoot me a message and I would love to make some suggestions.

When you are feeling stressed out, what is something that almost always works to calm you?

Quiet time. This most typically can be fulfilled in a coffee shop, bookstore, or bathtub. Introverted time to myself, preferably with a tea or latte, a journal and a Bible, refills my bucket and calms me down.

What do you admire the most about your husband?

I could go on and on! But simply put, I admire his cheerful attitude and his ability to see the glass even more half full than me. He rarely has a down day, is someone who just wakes up chipper and ready to embrace the day and will never let himself sulk into negativity. He reminds me of the positives and blessings on tough days and has such an optimistic spirit. He is the BEST. (Plus he is a stud, so win win!)

What is your guilty pleasure? Something you shouldn’t indulge but just have to sometimes?

French fries and real sugar lattes. Both of which don’t go with my eating habit changes so it’s been a little tough.

The other award I was nominated for is the Sunshine Award which is an award granted by fellow bloggers to whom they feel bring sunshine to their lives. How sweet and special! These ladies at Team Ricci and Waiting for Baby Bird gave me this award and with it, several more questions to answer – here are a few!

What is one of your favorite quotes?

I have been finding myself scribbling down quotes and reminders lately and posting them around my kitchen. While I have many favorite quotes, here are two are my scribbles from last week!

Where is your favorite vacation spot?

Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Every spring Josh and I are blessed to be able to vacation with his family and have fallen in love with our home away from home each year. This year will be our 10^th year down there together (more for Josh) and its one of my favorite, relaxing spots! Plus they have a STARBUCKS so it’s pretty much perfection.

Provide 5 RANDOM facts about yourself. (Is it sad that I had to recruit Josh to help me with this? My mind drew a complete blank.)

I am becoming an awful text and email responder. I typically don’t love phone calls. The older I get, the more I value one-on-one, face to face time with people (preferably over a caffeinated beverage) and less and less the technology version of them.
I love coffee mugs. Each one tells a story of where you got it or who gave it to you. Josh on the other hand doesn’t love all my coffee mugs since our cabinet is out of room and he has had more than one come crashing down on him.
I am an introverted morning person. I don’t like to talk for at least an hour after waking up. In fact, Cali and I typically don’t acknowledge each other until we have both been awake for quite a while. I will wake up an hour earlier than Josh on the weekends simply to have my quiet time before his energy explodes.
I don’t like to be spooked or startled intentionally and when scared, I will immediately begin crying. Josh has learned this the hard way as he loves a good “BOO!”. Please do not see this as an invitation to scare me either. It does not go over well.
Having fresh flowers in my house is a must. I love flowers.

Now I would love to pass along the love and nominate 3 girls whose blogs I just love and whom are creative and beautiful authors! Check them out!

Girls, all you have to do is mention who nominated you and answer these 5 questions to help your bloggers get to know you better!

Do you have any furbabies? If so, share a picture and tell us about them!
What is your favorite warm beverage to drink? Do you have a favorite coffee shop spot?
What is your favorite Bible verse?
Tell us about how you met your spouse.
What would your perfect day look like?

I also wanted to say thanks to all those who remembered our should-have-been due date last Monday. I was so blessed by the amazing kindness of those who checked in. And thanks to a sweet somebody, we even received these beautiful flowers from our babies.

I also received some beautiful jewelry handcrafted by my friend Martha. One of my favorite things are these tokens she designed. They are filled with some of my favorite verses, words of encouragement and symbols of hope. She has an Etsy shop filled with gorgeous work and is currently saving towards her 5^th IVF cycle, all while dealing with being the wife of a deployed husband and mother of a heaven-held daughter who left this world too soon. Here is the link to her shop – I urge you to check her out and support a great cause!

Lastly, a small TTC update – I have been experiencing some weird pains and symptoms since stopping IVF and have been trying to track that and determine what may be normal, what may be from PCOS, what may be from my body working to try to heal itself, and what isn’t right. The other day I decided it would be best to check in with my OB just to check things out. We don’t have many answers yet but I was able to get in and have things looked at. We were able to, for the most part, rule out really scary things like cancer, fibroids, tumors and polyps and I was thankful that my labs and ultrasounds didn’t show anything of immediate concern. She did express a little unease that one of my ovaries was swollen up about 30% larger than it should be and that there’s a cyst that’s just a bit larger than normal. While we don’t know for sure if it’s what’s causing the pain, we will keep an eye on it for the next 4 weeks and rerun some tests then. It has all been placed it in His hands and we are feeling comfortable with the game plan. We haven’t really talked about it with anyone simply because we really don’t know much and it’s just a small web of unknowns. I share this with you simply to ask for prayers for healing and wisdom and still, would prefer not to talk about it.

Well, for not having a lot to say, I certainly filled up the page! How about I don’t wait 2 and a half weeks to post again. Mkay, I’ll work on that. Until next time!

learning to say no.

January 7, 201412 Comments

Happy New Year! How many of you are trapped in the world of writing “2013” still and then ferociously scratching a 4 over the 3 and contemplating just starting over? I know I am! It always takes a while to get into the swing of the new year and the calm that follows the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Here in Minnesota we are still braving brutally cold temperatures and most schools were canceled the last day or two, which has extended some holiday breaks, but alas! It’s about to warm back up (aka above 0º) and we all will be fumbling our way back into our old routines.

As I begin 2014, I have been thinking a lot about the routines I tend to find myself in and what commitments are on my plate. If you know me, you know that I tend to be a “yes” person. Got something that needs to be done? I would LOVE to! (Shoot, I really don’t want to do that.) Oh you need this? Absolutely, I’m your girl! (Oh man, when am I going to fit that in?) It starts next week and you forgot to look for a leader? Of course I will lead that. (Nooooooooooo. I don’t have the time/ability/interest/desire/passion.) It actually is a really bad habit of mine, saying yes to everything I am asked to do, because at the end of the day, I am left feeling depleted and unable to give my best to people who matter most – like my husband, family and friends.

A month or so ago, God began to stir in my heart that He wanted me to fine tune the art of being prayerful to consider what was asked of me. It made me scrunch up my nose, because the thought of saying “no” and disappointing someone felt uncomfortable. But I took the bait. Okay God, I will bring you opportunities and consult with you before saying yes or no. Just make it clear.

Around the same time, I read these powerful words in a book: “I realized then, that while there are many things that need to be done, things I am capable of doing and want to do, I am not always the one to do them. Even if I have a burden for a certain need or project, my interest or concern is not a surefire sign that I need to be in charge. God may only be calling me to pray that the right person will rise up to accomplish it. What’s more, I may be stealing someone else’s blessing when I assume I must do it all… It is a costly mistake, for often, when the Holy Spirit does ask something of me, I’m either knee deep in another project or too exhausted from my latest exercise in futility to do what God wants of me.” (Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World)

It was exactly what I needed to read to give myself permission to say no to things that I didn’t feel called to do. Steal someone’s blessing? Being too exhausted to actually do something that I should be doing when that time approaches? Totally convicted.

And wouldn’t you know it? I was tested nearly immediately with an invitation to serve in an area that I know I would be skilled at. However, instead of saying “yes, sure thing!” right away, I prayed about it. And felt strongly that this was not a venture I was supposed to take on and instead, simply needed to offer to pray for the right person to step up to the job.

Awkward.

I don’t do well saying “no”. I don’t think it was the response this person was hoping for and I know that obeying Him will likely cause more work for this person and I feel awful about that. But what outweighs that feeling and gives me peace is simply knowing that I am keeping myself open to whatever it is ahead where I am supposed to say “yes”. I will have the time, the passion, and the capability to take that on. OR, I will simply be able to focus with greater attention on what’s already on my plate. The team in our early childhood ministry at church that I direct, or the small group I lead, or the relationships I have built. The lifestyle changes we are making to our diets and bodies.

As you step into 2014, I challenge you to look at what you have on your plate. Are you carrying things around simply to please others, but as a result, draining yourself of everything – like your joy? Are those activities or responsibilities keeping you from being open and available to things that do interest you? Are you able to put Him in the number one spot in your life or is He getting pushed aside as you work to please everyone around you? Here’s the thing – responsibilities are a good thing. We all need that structure and we all need to work hard at things – but not at the sake of our relationship with Him or our sanity. We can’t be consumed at keeping everything in the air because our focus will shift and we will find ourselves frantically missing the good opportunities. I even have to evaluate the small, fun things that add up. The coffee dates, the evenings meetings or movies with friends. How many yoga classes to commit to a week and how much running (figuratively, not literally, but I literally don’t run) I am packing into a day. All these things can easily deplete us if we don’t guard our calendars and time.

A new year. A new chance to look at our busy schedules and no longer allow Satan to use the hectic-ness and commitments, our worn out bodies and our exhausted emotions, to create barriers that push us away from what we are supposed to be doing. For some, what you are supposed to be doing is simply spending time with your family. Or maybe it’s taking on a weekend serving position at your church. Or perhaps its saying “yes” to joining a Bible Study or (gasp) leading one. Will you allow your energy and joy to be swallowed up in obligations that He has never called you to take on? Or will you join me at His feet waiting to find out what His will is for us before saying “yes”? And then faithfully taking the step of obedience towards the commitments we are called to do?

Here’s to a 2014 filled with the right callings. Filled with JOY. Filled with Him!

PS – Join me in the awkward celebration of having my shortest non-medicated natural cycle EVER! 63 days. (If you are wondering what I am talking about right now, let’s just safely assume you don’t need to know. You can stop reading now.) But seriously, my PCOS has prevented me from having natural cycles without the eventual use of Provera (a AF inducing medication) literally for years. It was an answer to my desperate prayers to God to show me that this new naturopathic route was actually doing something useful. Honestly, it has been really hard. I am not used to taking 80-million supplements a day and the anti-inflammatory drinks that I am temporarily drinking as we fight this internal infection has been testing every ounce of strength. The diet changes have felt a lot more natural now and I am getting pretty used to my new routines and lifestyle. But it’s slow. And while I *expected* that, I forgot what slow felt like. I have been missing the pace of IVF and western medicine. But He was faithful to hear my frustrations and discouragement and getting AF was a wonderful sign that *something* is starting to work again. And with that brings renewed hope that someday we may be able to celebrate a miracle baby. So thank you for continuing to faithfully pray for us in this slower time. It still is a battle, but we still have our boxing gloves on. :)

A favorite verse of mine! And a great anthem for January.

Dear Santa, part 2.

December 11, 2013December 12, 201315 Comments

Dear Santa,

It seems you received my letter last year! Christmastime 2012 was the first time I received a positive pregnancy test, just like my letter requested! However, I have now learned to be a little clearer with my wish list, as a positive pregnancy test will only go so far. So with a humble heart, I am writing you again this year asking you to fill my stocking with more baby dust and a pregnancy that results in an on-earth, living, breathing, take home baby. Piece of cake, right??

Let me start by saying I have been more nice than naughty this year. I have tried my best to take every pill and shot with a smile, hopeful with the expectation of what could come. (Granted, I am failing miserably with drinking these stupid shakes from the naturopathic doctor but let’s ignore that fact.) I have been drinking tons of water and have even learned to stop complaining about not being able to drink soda anymore. I smile at most of the children I encounter, with the exception of that unruly little one who tried to kick me and told me he doesn’t like me. (I might advise you to put him on the naughty list.) I have done my best to treat Josh with love and only have occasionally given him “that” dirty look. (You know the “what are you thinking!?!” look.). I haven’t pushed one smoking pregnant lady down this year, nor have I parked in the “Expectant Mother” spot, even though I am tempted to “just pretend”.

Santa, I have been responsible for keeping the Target baby section in the black with all of the baby gifts I have been buying and surprises I have been mailing. I haven’t complained more than a dozen times about the still-numb spot on my butt and thigh from the progesterone in oil shots and I am even starting to accept the fact that I may never regain feeling. I have genuinely prayed for and celebrated many other TTC pregnancies and births this last year, even when it is a tough reminder that it’s not me.

I have been journaling and writing to my future child and simply ask that someday, he or she will be able to read those words. I have limited my Starbucks addiction and am trying to get healthier, even though it’s more challenging than I had imagined.. And unlike last year, I haven’t stuck my tongue out at one person yet this year. (Well, with the exception of Josh, but he was really being difficult that day.)

I have sat through more blood pokes than I could count and haven’t cried yet. I have patiently sat on the phone with the insurance company to fight my D&C denial and didn’t say to their face that it was insanely absurd that they would cover an abortion but not a miscarriage. (Okay, minus points for thinking it though. Again though, I may advise they be moved to the naughty list.)

Josh and Cali have been so good this year too! Josh lovingly abides with the dreadful dinners recently. (I figure if I can’t eat carbs or sugars, he shouldn’t be able to either.) He fills up the gas tank in the winter so I don’t have to and pays attention to things like oil changes. He has waited on me hand and foot as I have recovered from 2 egg retrievals, 4 embryo transfers and the D&C with such love and care. He always wakes up and rolls over to hand me a tissue when my nose is running in bed so I don’t have to get up. (And never questions why I don’t move the box to my nightstand since he understands it just wouldn’t fit the decorative balance of the room.) And then there is that time, okay, every night, where he goes back downstairs to bring up whatever it is I forgot. And Cali? Well, she has been ever so patient with me as I continue to dress her up and pretend like she is a human child. She only slightly glared when I put the antlers on her ears this week and gracefully allowed me to put her in 7 (yes, seven) Halloween costumes this year. I really think she would love a brother or sister. (Okay, honestly, it would be an adjustment, but one I am sure she would love to make. No need to check with her on that, just take my word.)

So please, again, I beg of you, fill our Christmas with every good thing you have in your bag. I ask for all the joy, hope patience and strength that you can bring. (And you don’t even have the wrap it.) Take our stocking and make it overflow with fertility and determination. I ask for nothing more but a 2014 filled with more than our hearts can imagine and bigger than our dreams can dream.

Love,

A Patiently Waiting Mommy to Be

PS – If you can, also send our angel babies up in heaven a little hug from their mom and dad. We will miss them so much this Christmas and wish we were spending it with them.