I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I am always a little overwhelmed thinking about all we have been blessed with. Truly, even if we had no earthly possessions, we would still have it all. This year has been one where I have been intentional to find things daily that I am thankful for – small and big. We have so much all around us and complaining seems so common. I have taken to heart Philippians 4:6, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” I loved reading so many statuses about gratitude and thankfulness yesterday. Let’s hold onto that thankful spirit!
This week has been going good so far!. Just about what I expected truthfully – a little of everything! : ) It seems that each day brings a new side effect to the forefront while the one from the day before disappears nearly completely. It’s the strangest thing. I have dealt with the worst hot flashes – the kind that make you sit down in the middle of a mall, rip off your boots and ask a stranger to get you a glass of water. I also had to get very comfy on the floor of a Hallmark waiting for the dizzy flash to pass … while reading Hanukah cards for Grandson’s because it was the closest thing to the floor. Ah, that day was fun. Then the next day I experienced cramps that took my breath away. Day after, an extreme loss of patience. I haven’t been sleeping well, but that is okay. I do get exhausted quickly – but it tends to go in waves and brief rests help. I have only had a couple headaches and they pass quickly. One of my least favorite parts is constantly feeling bloated, but that’s superficial. Anyways, I figure, I don’t have a choice, why not embrace the chance to carry an ice pack in my purse and take a nap?? All in all, it’s been a good week. I knew to have no expectations and that has been very helpful going in to each day. On a side note, I officially have my first 3 bruises on my tummy. It is a little sore, but again, manageable.
Alright, so a lot of questions have come in about the actual “date” timeline of all of this, so for your reference here is the rough estimation:
- Suppression – now until Dec 1
- Stimulation – Dec 1 – week of Dec 10th-ish
- Egg Retrieval – sometime week of Dec 10 – 15
- Embryo Transfer – 3 to 5 days after the day of the egg retrieval
- Waiting – ahhh, the lovely 2WW!
Hoping and praying that we have some answer by the end of the year. As we keep moving, I will continue to share as many details as we feel comfortable with, knowing your timely prayers are such a blessing, while also allowing some boundaries as well.
I know we talk about our Thing on this blog often – that area in life that you are waiting to have a prayer answered in or addressed. An issue that is hovering over your head waiting for direction or strength. Ours is obviously infertility and trying to have a child of our own. Yours is part of your story. I read this great devotional this morning from Proverbs 31 and wanted to share the thoughts. While it applies literally to waiting on God for a child, it’s so applicable for waiting on God for anything:
“Do you ever get tired of waiting on God to answer your prayers? I do. I get tired of saying the same old prayer day after day, month after month, year after year. Tired of telling God about the same old problems still going on. Tired of hearing myself pray about the same old issues, leading me to wonder if God is as tired of hearing my prayer requests as I am of praying them. Recently I bowed my head and admitted to God that I was simply tired of praying and waiting. In a heavy state of emotional exhaustion, I turned to my Bible. I hoped a few verses would jump straight into my heart and give me patience. That day I read about when Isaac’s wife Rebekah gave birth to twin sons. One sentence in particular caught my eye and God used it to speak hope into my soul. Genesis 25:26 tells us that Isaac was sixty years old when his twins were born; a simple Bible fact, yet profoundly meaningful to me on that specific day. You see, Isaac had waited patiently for the Lord to provide the perfect wife. He was forty years old when he married Rebekah. That means Isaac waited twenty years for Rebekah to bear children! He was a man of great patience who waited on God. And eventually his patient faith was rewarded. In Genesis 25:21a we see that “Isaac pleaded with the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was unable to have children.” (NLT) He earnestly and strongly prayed about their desires to have kids. He did not half-heartedly ask God for a son, he pleaded! He begged. He poured his heart out. He trusted that God would provide and continued to pray the same desperate prayer for a son, day after day, month after month, year after year. Isaac never gave up hope that his Lord could make the impossible, possible. And after twenty years, God gave him a son. Are you tired of the wait? Tired of pleading with God just like Isaac? It may take twenty years for God to answer, or it may only take twenty minutes. But today, let’s find comfort in remembering Isaac’s patient faith and take hope in believing that God is not tired of hearing our prayers.”
How great is that? How often are we pleading with God? How often are we finding ourselves talking about our hardship, rehashing it with friends, talking about praying for our Thing, without actually taking the time to plead with God? I constantly have to ask myself “Have I prayed about this as much as I have talked about this?”. Sometimes the answer is a good nudge that I am losing focus on communication with God, but becoming really good with my communication with others. Humbling.
I leave you with my top 5 list of things I am thankful for … the big ones … I could go on forever on each one, but will try to be brief:
- My relationship with God. And simply that –the fact that it’s a relationship. A personal friendship with the One who saved me, who carries me, who restores me and strengthens me. He is all I need.
- My husband – Josh. Without him, I don’t know who I would be or what life would be like. He is my human rock, my supporter, my best friend. He always makes me laugh, makes me feel cared for and loved, and treats me like a queen. I can count on him for anything. He speaks my love language when it may not come naturally; he is a hard worker, a great puppy dad, and the best life partner I could ask for.
- My family – both by blood and by marriage. I am so blessed to have Christian parents/parents-in-law who love, encourage, and bless me in so many ways. I have 2 beautiful little nieces who bring us such joy. My sister and best friend who gets me in only a way a sister can … my sister/brother-in-law, amazing cousins, caring aunts and uncles, loving grandparents … the list is endless.
- My friends – they are truly incredible. They make me laugh, they care, they support, they pray. I never feel alone. I always have someone there to share and do life with. Their loyalty touches my heart.
- My dog Cali – she is my joy each day. She loves unconditionally, she knows my moods, she makes me laugh and I adore her quirks. She has been my “baby” these last 6+ years and makes me smile instantly.
Life is good. God is good. These trials are so small in comparison to the blessings of waking up each day and participating in this short breath of life. Can I get an Amen!?
PS – Yes, for those reading on a desktop, I did give my blog a wintery makeover. :)