“Gotta be patient. Gotta wait.”

This sentence has become a popular one in my niece Scarlett’s vocabulary. When I asked her about the gifts around the Christmas tree, she simply said “Gotta be patient. Gotta wait.” When I asked her about some friends coming over later that day and if she was excited, the answer was simple, “Gotta be patient. Gotta wait.” Even a simple question like “are you ready for dinner?” has been answered with a “Gotta be patient. Gotta wait.” Not only is her little voice saying that one of the cutest things, “godda be pashent, godda wait.”, but the message is simple – she knows she has something to look forward to but the time isn’t now. She doesn’t doubt that the time is coming when she will have the gifts revealed, the friends at the door, the dinner on the table – but the time isn’t now.

When I think about waiting till April to start another IVF cycle, her little voice echo’s loudly in my head…”Gotta be patient. Gotta wait.” But with it comes the simple realization that it will be happening and it is in the future. Now is the time of demonstrating adult patience. I swear it should get easier the older we get, but it doesn’t. In fact, kids seem to be much better at distracting themselves while they wait. As an adult, all I can think about it wanting to fast forward to April, to feel the poke of the needle in my stomach again (who’d have ever thought that!), to make the 55 mile round trip drive to and from the clinic each day, to have the excitement about the potential to be even more real. Instead, I have to practice my ability to be patient.

Bah.

I hate waiting.

I feel like all I have done is wait.

And I am surrounded by others who are waiting too – waiting for a job, waiting for direction in a relationship, waiting for a baby, waiting for a spouse, waiting for test results, waiting for treatments to be over, waiting for an answer to a massive prayer. It seems nearly everywhere I turn right now, I am with someone waiting. Half of the time we stare at each other saying “It’s gonna be ok! We can wait. It’s for a reason. Let’s look at what we are being taught in these moments, what we can take away from this.” And then to the other half of the time it’s a “WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!?!?!?!”

We have all heard the lovely patience quotes before … “Patience is the greatest of all virtues.” and “He that can have patience can have what he will.” Words regarding patience show up at least 50 times throughout the Bible. In fact, a popular song in my house growing up was this one – “Have patience, have patience, don’t be in such a hurry. When you get impatient, you only start to worry…” We are inundated with the reminders that patience is important. And yet, truthfully, most of us suck at it.

Webster’s defines patience as the “ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with a delay.” Restlessness is a good word. As is annoyance. It later uses the words ”steady perseverance”. I WANT to be more patient. I WANT to say I am fully embracing every second of waiting, but truthfully some days are harder than others. I KNOW I am right where I am supposed to be. I work to try to find the moments in each day that make it meaningful and matter. But I am still learning the art of patience. I read the other day “Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.”

Hebrews 12 talks about running “with endurance the race that is set before us.” It’s empowering to know that this path before me is set. I am not making the way, God has cleared this path for us and now I need to roll up my sleeves of perseverance and endurance, equipped myself with patience, and charge ahead.

“Gotta be patient. Gotta wait.”

52 days till shots start again. 7 days till I start my first pill to prepare me for the cycle. 48 days till my last day of work. 20 days till my spring break vacation. 33 days till our balance is due for the cycle. Days whirl by. I can do this.

“Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I (God) indeed you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway.” (Jesus Calling)

So, wherever you are today, whatever you are waiting on, whatever needs a little extra dose of patience sprinkled on it- do it. Let’s do it together. Time to strengthen our patience muscles, continue to suppress our annoyance at waiting and embrace what today offers. That means smiling through the hard time of waiting and wonderment. God is in today.

“Gotta be patient. Gotta wait.”

On a side note, Josh and I had a fun photo shoot with a friend last November and I wanted to share a few of my favorite pictures of our family. Enjoy!