1,209,600 seconds of waiting

Waiting. What’s that? Ha.

If you are anything like me, waiting is hard. Especially when it’s something you really want.  The world is filled with inspirational quotes about waiting – “The longer you wait for something, the more you’ll appreciate it when you get it, because anything worth having is definitely worth waiting for.” Yahoo! Yeah waiting! Love it! Wait on!

I joke , but I do love that quote. And it’s true …. But it doesn’t make the waiting any easier.

I wish there was a magic pill to take to give you just a little glimpse of the future (like let’s say, a week and a half from now). Or I wish that God would just TELL ME already. (Impatient much Chelsea?) This 2 week wait is lonnnng and hard. Doing this time and time again doesn’t necessarily make it any easier.

My dog  Cali decided last night that she really just wanted to make sure I was awake when she was. I need a drink of water, her little doggie brain thought, I must make sure to scratch Mom’s pillow until she wakes up just to let her know I am jumping down to get a drink…..Ahh, back in bed. What? She fell back asleep? Not okay. I must lay on her face to ensure she knows I am back in bed. It was like this all night! And as a result, I laid wide awake after a while. Ah, a perfect time to pray and make it really easy for God to tell me if I am pregnant or not.

“Okay God, you don’t have to audibly speak to me, I’ll make this easy for you … how about you just give me the hiccups if I am pregnant.”

No hiccups.

Okay, well that was a hard one.

 How about if I just feel a really big pinch in my uterus on 3 …. 2 …. 1 …. “

Ouch! Wait. That was just a feather from my pillow poking through on my arm. Dang.

 “How about if you DON’T give me the hiccups if I am pregnant.”

 No hiccups! I WIN! Wait.. that really doesn’t mean anything … shoot.

I got to the point where I realized God didn’t want to play this game. He just wanted me to trust Him. Trust that He is in control. Trust that He will bless us with a child whenever the time is right (again, God, next week would be great, just throwing that out there…)

 I have continued to look for physical feelings and such of a pregnancy, (granted I am only 5 days past transfer, meaning that they really wouldn’t be appearing now anyways, but one can dream …) when I came across this line in Jesus Calling earlier this week. “Affirm your trust in Me, regardless of how you feel….Concentrate on trusting Me and fearfulness will gradually lose its foothold within you.”

 I love that it used the word “feel”. So often that relates to our human emotions, but to me, it spoke directly to the physical feelings I had been trying to search for. And the message from Him was clear – Affirm your trust in Me.

Proverbs 3:5 (AMP) says “Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.” Hmmm, so maybe my limited, heavily-searched for insight really will do me no good. I’m getting it God.

So on and on we wait. Similar to previous cycles, we will share with our blogging friends the news as soon as family and friends have been told. Keep those prayers coming in the meantime! I believe God is hearing every single one of them and that His promises will be fulfilled.

blessed

19 thoughts on “1,209,600 seconds of waiting

  1. Stacy Ricci says:

    Ha!! I LOVE the Cali talk, and the prayer conversation… it made me giggle. Hiccups, no hiccups, a pinch in 3, 2, 1… You are so cute! I know this is so hard waiting and waiting and waiting. But I also know how strong you are and that you will rise above this! And your time is coming! <3 xoxo

    • chels819 says:

      Hehe!! I’m nearly certain that’s what was going through her head! :) Thanks for being such am encouragement to me! I greatly appreciate you and can’t wait for you to be in your own 2WW God willing this fall! And ill be there to help try to keep you sane too. :)

  2. roadtofertility says:

    If you haven’t heard it yet, I recommend the song “While I’m waiting” by John Waller..really awesome Christian song! I will be praying and praying. Waiting for me was so difficult…this whole thing can just make one crazy..I really admire you’re unwavering faith and trust in God. He is truly faithful. Around this time last year my husband and I were given news that I would not be able to have children on our own and through IVF we were almost full term with twins. Never lose hope. God bless you!

  3. Stacey says:

    I definitely feel ya. I’ve done IVF many times (on my 9th…yikes) and I’m working on child #3. Here’s what I’ve learned… Just enjoy being pregnant for your 2ww. Don’t rush to find out. If it’s bad news then you’ve enjoyed being pregnant as long as you could. If it’s good, then, well, throw a freaking party! Lol. I, amazingly, got a BFP on July 8 so I’m in my next 2ww for the u/s (scheduled tomorrow). As much as I want confirmation that this is really happening, I’d almost rather wait a few days to keep enjoying being pregnant as long as I can! Good luck. The 2ww is a killer. Prayers!!!

    • chels819 says:

      I love that reminder to enjoy being pregnant right now! Good encouragement! And 9th time?! Girl, you are amazingly strong! Praying this results in a perfectly expanded family! XOXO!

  4. Kate says:

    I am praying for you and all my TTC sisters. Such a timely reminder – HIS timing (so hard!) We will probably make our first appointment with a fertility dr. in Aug (unless we strike it rich this time around). I’m on CD 8 and according to CBOPK, levels are going up. We’ll see. But you are right! Trust regardless of how we feel! Thank you!

    • chels819 says:

      Thanks Kate! I hope you don’t get to that appointment and are blessed with a miracle before that but if His timing is different, know you have so many people caring and here to support you!! Xoxox!

  5. Katie Campbell says:

    HAHAHA! I am laughing so hard at your prayers in the middle of the night, because I have done that so many times. Hope this 2ww goes by quickly for you. Fun that our cycles are close together, I am the worst at the 2ww, I drive myself and everyone around me crazy! Saying a prayer for you!

    • chels819 says:

      Right!!? Haha! Why doesn’t He just respond?! I bet He has a lot of funny stories about all our silly requests. I am praying for your cycle and hope that we are going to share baby bumps as well!!! Thanks for the prayers and for reading!!

  6. tiffanyhopkins says:

    As always, I loved the blog! Although I’m not waiting in the same sense that you are right now, I am waiting for the same thing… just in a different way… if that makes sense. You know what I mean. I hope this is the last 2ww you have to endure for a loooong time. I’m praying for you always.

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