mom life.

Why hello friends! It’s been 3 months since I last posted and they have been 3 months unlike any others. This summer has whizzed by, and has been filled with the wonderful joys and exhaustion of having newborn twins. We, of course, would have it no other way! Don’t get me wrong – the hard is hard, but it’s hard with a purpose, laced with joys and answered prayers. Exhaustion due to two little peanuts is far better than exhaustion caused from Lupron shots and early morning monitoring appointments, wondering if it would all be worth it.

There’s no good way to summarize how life has changed. The first 8 weeks were completely disorienting as we worked to get to know our newest family members and discover who we were as parents. Toss in 8 times a day feedings, 16-20 diaper changes, 4-6 hours of pumping (I am exclusively pumping and bottle feeding) and I feel like life was a blur. A wonderful, tear-filled, humbling, redefining blur. Both kiddos struggle with reflux and it took a good 2 months to find the right medicine to help their writhes and wiggles. I vividly recall sitting in the nursery at 2:00 am, night after night, staring at Josh with sleep-filled eyes as we tried everything we read to keep Logan from spitting up more than he was consuming. Josh only got a day or two off of work once we got home from the NICU stay, and we have been incredibly thankful for the family who has stepped up to help out, especially in those early weeks.

Once we hit 10-12 weeks, I feel like a fog lifted! And now they are nearly 17 weeks! Our routine is starting to feel more feasible. Smiles are emerging and Kirsten and Logan’s little personalities are beginning to shine through. The smiles change everything and make every hard, tiring, moment SO worth it. What can we do to make them smile again!? Cue dance moves, silly sung songs, wacky flaily arm twirls and much more. And guys, they are the BEST. BABIES. EVER.

I kid you not, at least once a day, Josh and I look at each other in awe that these two kids are ours. We constantly thank God for blessing us with them in His perfect timing, timing that never made sense to us in the moment, but timing that could only be explained as perfect now. We have been blessed with the most precious son and daughter and knowing that God chose us to be their parents is so humbling and the best feeling of all.

I didn’t want you guys to feel like I disappeared – I am still here! Life certainly looks different than it did 6 months ago. I am in the slow process of learning who I am now as I add “Mom” to the list of roles I play. I miss writing more than I thought and spend the wee small hours of the morning writing in my head, but I miss getting it out as much as I used to. I know there will be a season for that ahead and I hope to dabble in it a bit more as our daily routine steadies even more. But the days, though sometimes long, are short when laced together. In just a week, K & L turn 4 months – a third of a year – and where the time went baffles me. I don’t want to miss out on moments with them, but I also am learning how important it is to also incorporate self care. It’s a fine balance, one I am not even close to perfecting.

I feel like we are in the season of Psalm 34:8a – “Taste and see that the Lord is good…” We have waited and are now in a season of harvest. Reaping in blessings where we had planted and watered in tears years ago. It’s hard work still, but rewarding work. We constantly look at their little fingers, toes, eyelashes, knuckle dimples and think about how many people have prayed for them. It blows us away and we continue to be so grateful for the role you have played in God’s story for us.

Last night was the first night we attempted to move the babies from rock’n’plays in our bedroom, into their cribs in their room. Oh how the tears fell! How are my babies old enough for this next step? I feel the time slipping through my fingers – have I savored it as much as I need to? I close my eyes as I cuddle them close, hoping to imprint everything into my brain and heart – the smell of their post-bath heads, the feel of their tiny fingers curled around my hair, their breathy sighs as they lean into me. This is everything I prayed for, everything God knew He would be providing me in His time.

It’s about time for bed and I am reminded that another day has passed and tomorrow they will be a little bit bigger. I love seeing the new developments they are learning and listening to them finding their voice, but also know they will never be this little again. Oh my heart.

I’ll leave you with a few pictures, and a promise to return again soon…and ask that if you think of it tonight as you close your eyes in bed, if you could pray that our transition to their cribs would go well? Last night went great until the middle of the night, and they have been amazing sleepers thus far and we are hoping that will continue even in their cribs. I would *so* appreciate it!

Leave a prayer request in the comments and know I will be praying for each one late at night when I go to pump. It’s my privilege.

With love,

Chelsea

(Newborn photos taken by Molly Sheilds Photography)

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18 thoughts on “mom life.

  1. Katie Boswell says:

    I love this update so much! I need the hope! This week was supposed to be my due date (the 6th) and I’m having a hard time. Prayers of peace would be greatly appreciated. Love you guys so much ❤️

  2. Vicki says:

    Thank you for the update! Your babies are both so gorgeous and I am thrilled for you! Will pray for you and babies tonight that they will transition well in their new beds. I am 31 weeks tomorrow and incredibly thankful after years of infertility and then IVF last February to help bring us this far. God is good. Prayers appreciated for a safe & smooth delivery in 9 weeks. Thank you!

  3. KFH says:

    Oh how precious the babies are!! There is nothing like a sweet baby to remind you of God’s Greatness! Thank you for your update. I have been following you and praying for your family. Our miracle baby is almost 9 months. We prayed for 1,497 days for her. When you go through a trial it makes the blessong so much sweeter. I’ll continue to pray for you and those sweet babies!

  4. Erin Maree says:

    Such cute babies!
    I’m just struggling with unemployment, its been tough but recently I have just not been caring for lack of better words. I do care but its more I have just given it to God and am focusing on what I can control. I have a specific job criteria due to have anxiety (part-time being the big one) and I know God has the right job out there for me and I will get it in his timing.

  5. Michelle says:

    Yay an update! My heart is overflowing as I reach 13 weeks tomorrow with my own set of miracle twins! My prayer is simple but repeated so often as I look at my growing bump – for each baby to continue to grow heathy and strong over these next six months until the day the Lord sets aside for their birth (hopefully end of February). Good luck! I can’t wait to hear more updates as you fall into your rhythm

  6. iambrisus says:

    This is such an amazing update! Seeing were you both were and where you both are now! I can totally relate on how much life changes after your blessing(s) are born! My little miracle just turned one in August and we are in complete awe of how fast the time went and how much they grow, especially in personality! I am beyond excited for the next few months for you and your family–you’re going to have SO MUCH FUN and things will definitely get a little easier until they are mobile. Congratulations again on such beautiful children! <3 God certainly has shown some wonderful works in your life. What a testimony!

  7. dalinsors says:

    Yeah for the update!! My girls are a senior in high school and sophomore in college. It goes by so fast!!
    Please pray for a good friend – Mike Bell – a police sergeant getting ready to retire in a few weeks and was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He is a good guy, we hope he can beat this!!
    Thank you!

  8. DitchTheBun says:

    Those pictures are gorgeous and that owl onesie is perfection!!!
    Glad to hear you are doing well and that you found something to help them with the reflux!
    Currently towards the end of a two week wait and would love some prayers if you have some spare time :)

  9. There Is A Chance says:

    Love love love this! Your babies are so adorable! That “mom-bie/zombie” stage is so difficult… knowing you should enjoy it yet being so incredibly tired! It sounds like you all are doing an amazing job finding a balance with it all. I look forward to seeing those cuties again soon (they are minis of you and your hubby!!).
    We have one embryo waiting for us. Scar tissue preventing lining growth and implantation is our issue right now. We start our next and final IVF transfer cycle in January 2018. Thank you in advance for prayers of peace and acceptance of God’s will.

  10. Amie Price says:

    They are just the cutest!!! I tried and tried to put in my memory the look of Bowen’s face as an infant while he was sleeping but as time goes by it’s like I can’t remember it…ugh I hate it!! I look at pictures and it’s like they seem soooo far away.

  11. Amanda Koch says:

    Those babies are so adorable!!!
    The email address that I have associated with this account will be deleted in October so I need to change it to a different one. Not sure how to do that?

  12. Christine says:

    Congrats on those beauties momma! <3 God is amazing! We did IVF as well and our little girl was born on 5/26/17. You can check out her story and my oldest's adoption story at hispromiseskept.blogspot.com.

  13. Disorderly Love says:

    It astounds me just how much you write my exact thoughts & feelings lately. I got my miracle around the same time K & L were born, he will be 4 months on the 28th & I feel soooo much of what you describe here. So thankful God blessed us with these tiny miracles (who are growing too fast BTW) at the perfect time. <3 <3 <3

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