friday favorites – february 20.

February 20, 2015February 20, 201516 Comments

Repeat after me – 28 days till spring. 28 days till spring. 28 days till spring. We can do this.

Favorite Dinner Date: Josh and I had the BEST dinner date to celebrate Valentine’s Day. The food was absolutely amazing (Acqua never fails to disappoint!) and it felt so good to sit for a few hours and talk and laugh and catch up. I am so grateful for this man. (Plus the basil mojito’s there are on point. Like, #winning.)

heading out for my 12th valentine’s day date with this hunk!

quick restaurant selfie.

allllll the food we ate. bacon ketchup. GF clam chowder soup. plenty of sugary goodness. All of it, delicious.

his and hers bread. (gluten free and regular — the best treat everrrrrr)

Favorite Flowers: Trader Joe’s had these gorgeous purple wax flowers on sale at $2.99 a bunch this week. Nothing says SPRING COME SOON like a little bit of flowery life in the house. I have a feeling they will last a while too.

Favorite Quote: “I want to cultivate a deep sense of gratitude, of groundedness, of enough, even when I am longing for something more. The longing and gratitude, both. I’m practicing believing that God knows more than I know, that He sees what I can’t, that He’s weaving a future I can’t even imagine from where I sit this morning.” –shauna niequist-

Remember how my last cycle got cancelled due to overstimulating? Well, I should have started a new cycle weeks ago. And I didn’t. No, I can assure you, I am not pregnant. My body just decided to revolt, shake things up a bit, make me wait a little longer and storm the castle of confusion.

We waited and waited. Did some checking, took a monstrous PIO injection used to induce a cycle and then waited some more. Well, even the inducing didn’t work. (And let me tell you, it makes you feel awesome. Um, not.) So on Monday I zipped over to my clinic for some bloodwork and another ultrasound, all showing that my body is truly just trying to be rebellious without a real cause. Yes, a few smaller cysts here and there, but nothing too exciting or unusual for me. So with that news, the doctors plan is just to start another Letrozole (Femara)/IUI cycle and see what happens. They cut my meds down by half, started the letrozole on Monday and finishing tonight, and I will go in next Tuesday to see what’s going on.

Okay, all of this ties back in to the quote, I promise.

So after my early morning, 7-something appointment, I stopped over by Starbucks to make my grocery list and menu for the week. Well, my ‘quick list-making stop’ evolved into a quiet and relaxing morning, watching the snow fall down around me, making me feel like I was in a snow globe, while ingesting the beautiful words above.

Coming out of the appointment I felt pretty apathetic but Shauna’s quote reminded me a few things – one, that I am to be fully and completely grounded in Him, grateful for life even when I am longing for more. It reminded me that God IS weaving a future, even when I can’t see the other side. It reminded me that it’s okay if we can’t see the other side from where we sit right now. (In fact, if we could see the other side, it would omit the need for faith.) It reminded me that above all, regardless of what is going on in my life, that I want to develop into a person of deep gratitude and surrender to the One who holds my future in His hands. And in order to develop into that type of person, I have to focus more on trusting Him then I do on what I am longing for.

I am so thankful this quote lined up with the messy unknowns of another cycle, helping to re-root myself in Him. Let’s do this.

Favorite Date: I got to have an auntie/niece date with my oldest niece this week, and goodness, did we have fun! First of all, how do kids grow up so fast? Scarlett was chatting away and playing jokes on me and using her big, bright, beautiful imagination in ways that awed me. We stopped for lunch, visited a treasure store (aka a thrift store where she, unfortunately, chose a porcelain bell as the most prized treasure she ever did see. I have a feeling I will pay for this one day when I have children who are out with their aunt, hee hee!), and then spent time chatting over coffee at, where else, Starbucks. I love this peanut. Please, stop growing up.

oh you know, just passing notes at the table.

“this is the best thing I have ever had.”

“i love ringing this bell.”

oh this little girl just melts my heart into a million pieces.

Favorite Reminder: Wednesday was Ash Wednesday and I have to admit, I can fall into the routine practices that seasons like Advent and Lent can offer. In trying to be more intentional, I ordered the She Reads Truth Lent devotion book in hopes to focus more on what Lent means. I loved the introduction and how it defines lent: “Lent sets aside time for believers to focus intently on that action which is at the crux of our faith – drawing near to the cross of Christ and resting in the shadow of His sacrifice, glory, and forgiveness.”

I shared online that my prayer for myself is that I use this time of Lent to be intentional about returning to the cross, repenting and mourning the reality of my sinfulness, and remembering the precious gift Christ has given me. I pray that this season becomes more than just giving up something, I pray that we can all press pause and remember just how much we need the cross. If you are looking for a great devotional to use, follow along on shereadstruth.com or download the app. The website offers free devotionals/scripture readings daily while the app charges $2.99 for the plan for its app-functionality. It’s not too late to start.

Favorite Cali Picture: She certainly was not barking at anything right before this. In fact, she too looks confused as to who was yapping at a blowing leaf. (*eyeroll*)

Favorite Funnies:

And finally, congratulations to Kristin H. for winning the giveaway for the gorgeous Wishbone + Gem necklace! We are necklace twins, so fun! Thanks again to Crystal for sharing your talents with my readers!

Until next week – xo!

Q & A part 2

February 17, 2015February 17, 20157 Comments

First of all, is anyone watching the Bachelor? After 5 hours of Chris Soules + ladies this week, I feel like I need a major girl-chat to process everything that went on. Comment below if you watch and what you think! No spoilers please!

In other news, this week is part 2 of the Q&A Series! Thanks again to everyone who has sent in questions. Today we are featuring another giveaway, this time from Fertile Gems, (see more below), and then next week we will wrap this series up with part 3 and onet final giveaway. How fun has February been!? Love it!

OK, let’s dive into some more questions!

Q: Have you ever questioned blogging or had concerns with sharing private things with your work, friends, family, and church home?

A: Great question! Blogging scares me regularly. Every time I press “post”, I kind of feel like I have stripped down and am running naked through the neighborhood. I would rather strangers read my posts than people I know. It’s such a vulnerable thing, writing, and there are times I hold back thoughts or situations to protect the emotions of those closest to me as well. So yes, there are times I question blogging, but not in a way that makes me stop. It puts a good reminder in my heart and mind to be cautious not to hurt anyone with my words and also, to share in a way that’s helpful to others but (hopefully) won’t damage my reputation either, like in a working situation. I always try to write with the mindset that anyone I know may read this, including the person I may be giving a story about. It helps direct my words and mentality, while still remaining authentic and vulnerable. It’s a tango!

Regarding actual privacy, I try my best to keep identities protected and actual locations hidden if people don’t want that shared. If children are being posted on or about, I run it past Mom or Dad. I also try to make sure that when I am telling stories, I am telling my stories, not someone else’s story. Those stories are for them to share and I don’t want to encroach into their story. It can be hard to untangle experiences and emotions at times, but I want to protect the people in my life too. If I am telling a story about Josh, I run it past him first to make sure he is okay with it. I don’t ever want my blogging to cause others to concern their privacy either.

Q: What are your thoughts about acupuncture?

Ha! Remember the first time I went to acupuncture? Rethinking this experience is making me giggle. Acupuncture is something that I have been doing on and off for almost 2 years now and have to say, am still totally neutral on my opinion. I know some people LOVE IT and others HATE IT. I tend to be pretty undecided. That being said, I found cupping to be an extremely valuable part of my healing process when I had significant hormone-related back pain. I also found acupuncture to help my headaches while on Lupron and stimming during IVF cycles. When I was not on medicated cycles however, I didn’t find it to be hugely successful in helping me ovulate/cycle.

However, one thing that I am hugely passionate about is having pre and post transfer acupuncture sessions in the doctor’s office if they allow it. My acupuncturist came into the clinic and I had the most relaxing sessions right before and immediately after our embryo(s) were transferred. It allows time to pray/meditate, breath, and relax. Plus, you are on valium so it’s like you are floating with glee in a magical PUPO cloud.

Otherwise though, do what you are comfortable with and find relaxing. If it relaxes you, great. If you find yourself unable to relax and over thinking whether its working or not, then maybe it’s not for you. I always suggest everyone gives it a try to decide for yourself.

Q: What are the last 5 movies you’ve seen that have rocked your world?

I wish I watched more movies that rocked my world! I actually tend to be a pretty shallow movie watcher. I feel like the “good”, award winner movies tend to be a little violent/profane/sorrow-filled for me. For example, I would love to see American Sniper if I felt my heart could take it, but sometimes emotions overwhelm me a bit and so I protect me heart and just skip it all together.

So I watch movies on the Hallmark Channel or drag my husband to see Night at the Museum 3 (I laughed … and cried) or Hunger Games or the Divergent series. I love me a good Harry Potter film and PG-13 chic flick too! I wish I had a better deeper answer for you!

Q: How do you feel embryos should be handled ethically?

A: We believe deeply that all embryos created have life. We value the fact that life starts at conception and so it’s been very important to us to ensure that all embryos created that develop and process through the viable stages are used. When Josh and I first started our IVF journey, we knew that it could open a door for our family to be larger than we anticipated, knowing that if we had extra embryos to freeze, that we would continue frozen cycles to give them all a chance at implanting and sustaining life.

Doctors offices will give you the choice to “dispose” of extra embryos, donate your embryos to another couple who can’t biologically create a child or have the desire to adopt an embryo, donate the embryo(s) to science, or freeze them for your own family, continuing to make annual payments to the frozen daycare center. We have always chosen and will continue to choose to freeze them regardless of their quality.

When we were embarking into our 4th cycle, we had 1 little Frostie left. You may remember from this post where our doctors suggested us skipping transferring Frostie because of his/her low quality and instead doing a new fresh cycle. It was important to Josh and I that Frostie got a chance, and so we moved forward with that frozen cycle and our little snowbaby. While that cycle wasn’t successful, I am SO glad that we transferred Frostie and I know that God provided us a lot of peace with our decision to do that, even though it didn’t result in a pregnancy.

If you have a similar mindset as we do and are concerned about the abundance of embryos that could be created in a cycle, please know that there are many options to work with your doctor to minimize the amount of embryos created. It may start with stimulating egg production at a slower rate and removing less eggs, therefore creating less embryos, but it is possible. There is always a chance that when that type of cycle occurs and less embryos are created, that you may have to do multiple cycles, but it is worth pursuing and discussing with your doctor as well. If you ever have more specific questions on this for me, feel free to email me.

All of this being said, these are our opinions that we reserve the right to have so if you view things differently or would make different decisions, I simply ask for mutual respect as these are personal and spiritual decisions each couple makes.

Q: Where do you suggest finding support? How have you been able to develop a good system of support on this journey?

A: This journey can feel really lonely when you are fighting it alone, when no one around you understands, and when you don’t feel you have anyone to talk to. One of the benefits about social media is that it gives you the chance to connect with people who are struggling in a similar way as you, while not necessarily having to live close to you. Instagram has been the number one way for me to connect with other women who are struggling. Did you know that you can also create an annoyomous instagram account, not linked to your Facebook, so that you can have a true TTC outlet? You can start simple, by searching for a hashtag! Phrases like #ivf, #iui, #infertiliy, #ttc, #pcos, #endo, #clomid will all give you a SLEW of women who are ready to share and connect. You would be so surprised at how many beautiful true friendships have formed out of a single hashtag!

Meet my friend Karen! We met over Instagram, started emailing and now not a day goes by where we don’t talk, text or skype date. She may live in FL but all that matters is that I have found my “person”! Love you K.

I also run TTC package exchanges every few months that several hundred women on this journey participate in and I have witnessed SO many awesome friendships form simply by being randomly paired up. You can search for things like #ttcexchanges on Instagram too if you want to get connected right away! There are Facebook groups as well. My own personal experience is that forums can be really aggressive and mean-spirited so I try to stay away from them. Some churches have small groups that form with women who are struggling, so checking with your local church is a great option too. Otherwise, use websites like RESOLVE to find other methods of support.

Oh and guess what, our next TTC Exchange, similar to the Mug Exchange, will be kicking off at the end of the month! Stay tuned!

Now it’s giveaway time!

My friend Crystal over at Fertile Gems sent me the most beautiful fertility necklace and we just HAVE to share one with a lucky winner! Fertile Gems creates handcrafted fertility jewelry that is meant to put a smile on your face, remind you to calm down, relax and HOPE. They also include the choice of a gemstone and each gemstone has different meanings.

The necklace we are giving away is similar to this one below – except yours will be in sterling silver and you will be able to pick your own gemstone. (The wishbone is known as a good luck symbol of life and fertility.) If you are interested in purchasing one, I know you won’t be disappointed. Check out her Etsy store today!

This giveaway will last until Friday morning, and then the winner will be announced on Friday Favorites. Everyone ears 5 free entries just for fun! Just include your name / email so I can connect with you if you win. Good luck!

Click Here: a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thanks for sending in some great questions! Next week we wrap this up by talking about the ever-so-big questions about adoption, gluten-free diets, maintaining faith and hope and more!

friday favorites – february 13.

February 13, 2015February 13, 20158 Comments

Another Friday is upon us. (A Friday the 13th nonetheless!) Time for some Friday Favorites, here we go!

Favorite Thing I Am Looking Forward To: Valentine’s Day celebrations! I have a hot date tonight at one of my favorite restaurants with this stud. Yes, this is a picture from our first date, which occurred 12 years ago on Valentine’s Day. We look like babies. Ah, I love this man. Tomorrow night we are enjoying a quiet night in with our pup and fondue. I am grateful to have him standing by my side through thick and thin. Love you Josh!

Favorite Moment: Thank you all for the amazing support on my Fertility Authority ‘5 Things You Want to Tell Your Fertile Friend’ post this week. The response has been overwhelming and I am so thankful it has made many of you feel validated in your emotions and has given you a platform to start some open and honest conversations with friends and families. Thank you to everyone who shared it, clicked on it and read it. That being said, I am sorry so many of you understand what this feels like, but am always grateful when I can share my heart and it makes sense to others.

Favorite Show: My nieces were on fire the other day, putting on several puppet shows for me. Scarlett’s imagination is hilarious and it’s a really good thing that the magic butterfly saved Cali from the evil witch. (Said witch puppet also played the role of the auntie which was a little concerning, but the girls assured me that the puppet was only imaginary and that it could be a witch or an auntie.)

Favorite Celebration: My dear friend Alicia’s baby shower! Without sharing her story, let’s just say it’s fun to celebrate the upcoming arrival of a longley anticipated baby. She’s glowing and radiant! (Oh and my bib won the “best bib” prize and I am now own the cutest Burt’s Bee’s Tips and Toes kit. Yay!)

Favorite Spotting: I saw this sign at Barnes and Nobles this weekend and loved the reminder, while also chuckling about how true it is.

Favorite Gluten Free Product: This Canyon Bread! Goodness, SO GOOD! Target has it on Cartwheel for 20% off at the moment and I tried the rye bread this week and it made me drool. I have always liked Udi’s but this feels and tastes like real, soft bread. If you are gluten free, give this brand a try! It’s in the bakery section of stores, not in the freezer section.

Favorite Winners: Thank you to everyone who entered this weeks double giveaway! I am excited to share the winners! Congratulations to Sara F. who won a copy of Where Did All the Storks Go and Dawn R. who won the TTC Boost Bundle and BFP bundles from Fairhaven Health! I will contact you both for shipping information. Didn’t win this time? Stay tuned for next week where we have another giveaway featured with our next Q & A post!

Favorite Funnies:

Have a great weekend friends, see you next week! XO!

5 things you want to tell your fertile friend.

February 11, 2015February 12, 201511 Comments

Ever been there? That place, that moment, when you look around the room and realize you are the only person without kids? The conversation drifts in and out as you refresh your thinking “was up all night with johnny .. so tired .. love when they snuggle all morning … watched too much tv yesterday with them … need a night out … love them more than I knew was possible … love the boppy, although I would recommend … ” You catch snippets of conversation, knowing that you have nothing to offer and for just a moment, you want to weigh in and let your friends know these 5 things …

{click here to continue reading}

Thanks for clicking to continue reading and supporting my writing at Fertility Authority! Please feel free to share this post as much as you can within the next month – your views matter! And I’d love to have you weigh in and share what you wish you could tell your friends with kids – comment there or here!

Also, it’s not too late to enter the giveaway for your chance to win a copy of Where Have All the Storks Gone? A His and Hers Guide to Infertility by Michelle and Chris Miller or a fertility pack with a TTC Boost Bundle for Her and a BFP Test Strip Little Bundle. Read the previous post to enter or Click Here: a Rafflecopter giveaway.

See you Friday to announce the giveaway winners and share some Friday Favorites!

Q & A part 1

February 10, 2015February 10, 201528 Comments

I am so excited to launch this Question and Answers series this month, which will be combined with questions you have sent in and featuring some fun giveaways too! (2 packages today, more to come!) Thanks to everyone who submitted a question – if you don’t see your question answered in this post, know that there will be 3 parts so yours will make its way to being answered. Also, if you didn’t get a chance to send in your question, it’s not too late! Check out the Contact page for the best way to connect or leave a question in the comments below.

Here we go!

Q: Do you have any fiction book recommendations that you enjoyed that touch on infertility in some way?

A: I know many of you went out and read What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty and have shared that you loved it! I’m so glad! I have three other books that stand out as a good read with infertility story lines. The first is The Baby Trail by Sinead Moriarty. It is written by a British author and I found it to be hilarious. There are 2 follow up books to this book character and I liked all of them. But this first one is especially relatable to many and I found myself laughing out loud and feeling incredibly understood at the same time. The other book is Barefoot by Elin Hildebrand. While the infertility story line isn’t the predominate feature, it does touch on the emotions and uses language many of us would be familiar with. The third and last one is The Things We Do For Love by Kristin Hannah. I loved this one too. All three of these are non-Christian books so there are mild/moderate adult language and elements, but nothing I wouldn’t allow my Grandma Jones to read. (Hi Grandma Jones!)

Q: What about non-fiction books? Anything that touches on infertility that’s great?

A: YES! So many I love. The first is Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. If you have read my blog for any period of time and haven’t gotten this yet, please do! Her personal essays touch on miscarriage and struggles to conceive in a Godly way (however is not the focus of the book) and this is one of my favorite books of encouragement, relate-ability and hope. (UPDATE: And today only, the e-book is 0.99 on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles!)

The second is a book I recently read called Where Have All the Storks Gone? A His and Hers Guide to Infertility by Michelle and Chris Miller. This book is a funny, touching read, written from both her perspective and his. Her point of view talks a lot about the first steps you take when you learn you are fertility challenged, a great list of questions to bring to your OB/RE, some great advice on how to ignore the comments you wish people didn’t say and what you can expect with medicated cycles and IVF. Michelle does a GREAT job with this! And then the “his” perspective – Chris talks openly and candidly about things like preparing for the changes to the “just having sex” lifestyle, learning how to read semen analysis results, the lessons he has learned as a husband throughout the journey and touching on how he keeps his sanity and stays married through it all. I am SO glad I got to read this book – it was a lot of “you too!?”. It’s funny and touching and I will go ahead and let you know, has a great ending. In fact, I like this book so much that the publisher and I are hosting a GIVEAWAY for you to win a chance to get this book for free! Yeah! Enter below – the contest will end this Friday and the winner will be announced with Friday Favorites. Be sure to enter! (If you don’t win, I would still highly suggest grabbing this book. You can find all the ordering details on their website – www.wherehaveallthestorksgone.com) (This too is written from a secular perspective but is very tasteful!)

The third book is Every Drunken Cheerleader – Why Not Me? By Kristine Ireland Waits. This book is HILARIOUS. It’s written by a Christian author and I am so encouraged and touched by this challenging book. It’s written so that you can relate to it if you are struggling with infertility but also is an amazing resource for those who are supporting someone who is struggling with infertility. There’s an entire chapter (or two) that answers the questions they have like How can I help? What should I do? What shouldn’t I do? When and what should I ask about? How can I best support my friend during this? If I could give a copy to everyone I know, I would. This book is fabulous.

I have many other book suggestions listed under my Reading Resources page so check those out too!

Q: What helps you get though the 2 week wait? Are there any fun activities that help you get your mind off of things?

A: Let me just start by saying 2 week waits (2WW) suck. Never in my life have I known 14 days to take so painfully long. That being said, somehow they do pass. During this time I like to pretend like it’s not happening, while also recording every detail of every day. Makes sense right? I briefly write in my journal each day and this actually has helped keep me sane when reflecting back and reading other 2WW entries. I realize I am crazy EVERY 2WW which somehow brings comfort that this wait isn’t extra special. But anyways, to pass the days, I love to pack my days full of distractions. Coffees with friends (decaf of course!), trips to local and free museums or zoo’s, movie nights, girls days, mall walking (but no buying anything! Never clothes shop under the effects of progesterone.), painting my nails, and doing some gentle yoga (or swimming if you have that option). Things I DON’T suggest you do – Google. STAY OFF OF FORUMS, CHAT ROOMS, AND 2WW symptom websites. I repeat, DO. NOT. DO. THIS. You will drive yourself batty and set yourself up for waves of pointless emotions because you can’t truly count yourself out of this cycle at 3dpo (3 days past ovulation) simply because your left boob doesn’t hurt as much as your right. And don’t start taking tests at 5dpo. They will never show up as positive and you will waste pointless tears. My friend Lisa once told me “I would rather be hopeful and positive and convinced I am pregnant for 13 days and utterly devastated on day 14 if I am not, then spend 14 days in nervous, scared anticipation of failure.” I love that and live by that each 2WW now. Embrace the time you have, even if it doesn’t end the way you have hoped.

But my best advice is to stay busy. I have goals to make a 2WW bucket list for my next wait – it will keep me busy and distracted! What about you? What do you like to do to keep yourself busy during the 2WW?

Q: Are there any pills or supplements you have tried that have worked well or that you would recommend?

A: This is a loaded question! I know SO many people have differing opinions on this so I will keep this brief and allow you to do your own research as well, but here’s what I would loosely recommend*: CoQ10 for egg quality (stop taking this once you get your BFP), Vitamin D (studies showing it increases your fertility), Folic Acid/Prenatal vitamin, and Melatonin (said to play a role in hormone secretion and improve egg quality). Now there are always other supplements that others use and try that are still scientifically unknown if it helps increase fertility, but certainly have positive outcomes and stories! Fairhaven Health is an online source for many of these products and I am excited to try some of the products they sent me recently, like their brand of CoQ10, FertilAid (used to enhance fertility and support overall reproductive health) and FertiliTea. I have heard so much about this tea for preconception and am excited to give it a try! I will keep you all up to date with my thoughts but so far, I am impressed!

That being said, it isn’t fair for me to get stuff and not you! So I am teaming up with Fairhaven Health to offer one lucky winner a GIVEAWAY package of two if their most popular products – valued at nearly $100! The TTC Boost Bundle for Her includes FertilAid for Women, OvaBoost, and FertileCM to encourage hormonal balance, cycle regularity, and to promote fertile-quality cervical mucus and the BFP Test Strip Little Bundle is designed to provide you with the ovulation and pregnancy tests, consisting of 15 BFP Ovulation Test Strips and 5 early detection BFP Pregnancy Test Strips. I can’t wait for someone to give this all a try! Thank you to Fairhaven Health for your generous donations – ladies, check them out and enter for this giveaway below! This giveaway will end on Friday as well and the winner will be announced with the Friday Favorites.

Well that’s it! I have managed to tackle 4 questions and I am excited for the next post in this series, hitting questions like How do you ethically handle embryo creation during IVF? and Where do you suggest finding support on this journey? Can’t wait to answer!

Okay without further ado, here’s how you can enter to win the book and the awesome Fertility package! You will enter using Rafflecopter and it’s super easy – just provide an email so that I can contact you if you win for a mailing address. You can earn more points if you follow me on Instagram, share this giveaway using social media, subscribe to my blog, or leave a comment but regardless, everyone still earns 5 free entries! Can’t wait to share these products with you!

Click Here: a Rafflecopter giveaway

* The opinions shared on my blog are based on my own thoughts, experience and knowledge gained throughout this journey. I am not a doctor or health professional so please consult your own doctor before making any changes to your health or TTC plan. It’s important for you to advocate for yourself and make your own decisions based on your health care providers plan.

friday favorites – february 6.

February 6, 2015February 6, 201512 Comments

You guys – your overwhelming support and validation over my last post – relapse – reminded me of why it’s SO important for people to be open, vulnerable and authentic. Thank you to everyone who connected with comments and love. I don’t know whether to feel comforted by or cry over the fact that well over a 100 of you reached out and said ‘me too’. To everyone who understands this feeling, I am so sorry. I am so sorry you have felt this too. Now, I urge us all, don’t get stuck. I know it’s hard, so hard, but please, promise me you will keep moving past the anger. Anger is sticky. Anger is flammable. Anger is toxic. Anger has to be dealt with and is okay to feel, but after a point, we have to dust ourselves off and move past it because otherwise the anger will consume us and we will become permanently bitter. When we begun permanently bitter people, then infertility wins. And under NO CIRCUMSTANCE do we give infertility that power. Stay strong friends and thank you for meeting me in the dirt and reminding me that the roller coasters of emotions are okay.

Now onto Friday Favorites!

Favorite Flashback: This Jimmy Fallon ‘Saved By the Bell’ sketch this week was the ultimate ‘flashback’. I mean seriously, the original cast members are in their 40’s and they were looking GREAT! Such a fun blast from the past.

Favorite Instagram Pin: Wahhhhh! A few people tagged me so that I saw the new show line made by Sahnda Marie Kids. I mean, look, mini Starbucks Velour shoes. If my heart didn’t already ache for tiny baby things, it’s now official. Aching and loving. If only I could justify this purchase. SO CUTE.

Favorite Tip: I have yet to find a brand of gluten free breadcrumbs that I love for cooking so I make my own! SO EASY! I just buy a bag of gluten free bread (I use Udi’s), throw it on a cookie sheet and toast it in the oven, leave it out for a while so it’s nice and crisp, and then pulse it in a little food processor. I sift out the larger pieces and reblend them until all of the toast is finely powdery. Store them in an air tight container and season as need for each recipe. Sometimes I just add a little salt, or some italian seasoning or leave plain – I make up a batch in bulk and it’s fast and easy and has the same consistency as real breadcrumbs.

Favorite Date: I got to spend some quality time with my sister this week which was just the best. We took advantage of a groupon at a local bistro and then roamed the mall while catching up. I am so blessed to have a sister who I can have deep, real, meaningful conversation with and our time together just filled me up. She really is amazing (and beautiful).

Favorite Cali Pic: Cali’s Auntie Bella (yellow lab) drives her a little crazy, but she wouldn’t of course fully admit that. Cali’s hilarious little diva attitude has her thinking that Bella should play by her rules and I actually think Bella gets a kick out of that. This weekend there were two pictures that made me chuckle – the first, Cali and Bella outside. This was taken right after Bella and Cali got tangled up walking and Bella tried to sit on her. The camera came out, Bella turned into a perfect sitting angel and Cali stood there like “what the heck just happened mom?!”

The second picture is from when Cali was sitting on the stairs at the cabin and Bella came down to the top of the stairs and wanted to pass her. Cali just wasn’t having it and was completely irritated by this big dog trying to take her stair space. This series made me chuckle.

Favorite Selfie: I found this awesome fur hat in Josh’s dads truck (SO WARM!) and being the weirdos we are, a husband-wife selfie had to occur. I love this guy.

Favorite Meal: We got to eat halibut cheeks this weekend, caught from an Alaskan trip Josh’s dad was on and whoa, they were delicious! They tasted like crab claw meat and I am drooling thinking about them right now. SO GOOD. And clearly gone fast because I only got a picture of the last one.

Favorite New Friend: Wednesday night I got to spend time with my girlfriends, hanging out around the kitchen counter, painting nails, eating snacks, laughing so hard. Finally around 10:30 or 11, we pulled ourselves from the counter and snuggled up on the couch to watch Man in the Moon when my new BFF, Bentley, came over to snuggle with me. I mean, seriously, if Cali only knew, she would be so jealous, but we won’t tell her now will we?

Favorite Funnies:

That’s it! Hope you have an awesome weekend. I’ll see you next week for our first Q&A series post, plus the first of three February giveaways! YAY! Until next time …

send ’em over.

January 20, 2015January 21, 20159 Comments

I frequently get emails with some awesome questions from readers – everything from “what books to do you recommend?” to “what words do you have for someone going through a miscarriage?” The questions are all SO good and I love interacting with each of you as you pepper me with some thoughtful questions. They cause me to pause and think and that’s a good thing!

My inbox has been especially filled lately (I LOVE IT!) and it has inspired me with an idea for a series of posts – a Question and Answer series! That’s right, all those questions you have been emailing me over the last few years, send them my way via comment or email and I will work my way through them. Don’t make them all serious – send me over some fun, random ones too! :) I can’t wait to address some of the most common questions to specifics about our journey. Faith, treatment, personal life – nothing is off limits!

My email is listed here, you can write it below, or comment on an Instagram post. If you would like your blog tagged back and your name identified, just leave it in the comments (From NAME at XXXX) and I will credit your question to you. However, if you want to be anonymous, that is completely fine as well, just let me know. (First names only will be used.) The question window is open till the end of the month so send them over. I’m really looking forward to this!

Oh and due to a crazy week, Friday Favorites may not be posted until Saturday … just pretend like it’s Friday when you read them. Hehe!

I’ll leave you today with a great message I read a few weeks ago that has been stewing in my brain: “The mention of a journey implies an arrival. If God guides us, however we may dislike it, it means there is a goal to our journey. Because it is God’s will for us to reach that goal, we can be certain we will reach it. We start and stop and change our minds. People disappoint us; we disappoint ourselves and may give up. Not God! He always finishes what He begins.” Rest in the fact that regardless of our outcome, there is an end to this journey and a destination. Chances are it may be nothing like we imagine or plan it to be, but it’s there and it’s going to be glorious. Have a great rest of the week friends!

keep dreaming.

January 7, 20153 Comments

Hi friends! First of all, thank you all for the support on my first blog post written on Fertility Authority last month! You guys poured out the love (and clicks) and I am SO appreciative. Just think, with every click you made over the last 30 days, you were able to take part in raising money towards our IUI cycles. Now that is pretty cool, right!? I think of you all as I swallow those pills and look lovingly at that trigger shot, hehe!

Well, the time has come for my next post! Same as before, would you guys be just as supportive and head over there to click and read? It’s all about keeping the dreams we have alive despite disappointments. I would LOVE to continue to show them the amazing team I have behind me!

Okay, to read (and support) click this link: CLICK ME! CLICK ME! CLICK ME!

Or here’s the link for copying purposes: http://www.fertilityauthority.com/blog/chelsea-ritchie/2015/1/07/keep-dreaming

As always, feel free to share in any and all ways possible. :) I hope that someone is blessed and encouraged by these words. While I love the self therapy of writing, I am also so grateful for the ability for God to speak to others through our experiences. To Him be the glory!

See you back on Friday for the first real edition of Friday Favorites 2015! Whoooo hoooooo!

Did you miss my last blog post on Fertility Authority? No worries! Click here to read!

less of me.

December 10, 2014December 10, 201416 Comments

When life gets busy, hormones get weird and my brain feels fuzzy, all my emotions seem a bit short circuited. I am a little more weepy, a little more reactive, a little less patient. Can anyone else relate? If I am being honest, an ugly version of me comes out. One that offers less grace, less mercy, and a whole lot less benefit of the doubt. I somehow feel privileged to feel that way (whatever it is) because I am tired/hormonal/hungry/busy/”working on it”.

Reasons I have cried in the last week:

Church was starting. My favorite coffee mug was clean. This video. Ellen gave away a hundred million things to her audience for 12-Days of Giveaways. Child actors did a great job at a play I saw. The 19-pound jar of pickles from Costco didn’t break when it fell from the fridge onto the floor. Getting tons of mail this week from friends, just because.

Okay, so having an extra dose of sappy tears added to my face isn’t the worst thing. But it’s the other side of the coin that I don’t like.

It’s the way I muttered “COME ON!” to the lady slowly merging into my lane on the highway. (Really though, at a snail’s pace.) It’s the way I gave an exasperated sigh to the child who kept cutting me off in the busy aisles of Target. It’s the way I nearly trampled a man to get to this coffee table I am sitting at now. Rushed. Busy. A lack of patience.

This season especially, if you are anything like me, you are finding yourself rushed and busy, hopping from place to place, commitment to commitment, trying to cram in time to stop at the mall to buy that one gift, wrap all the presents (cutely of course, because they may show up in a picture and they have to be Pinterest perfect), and cram packages in the mail for distant family. My brain is chalk full of DON’T FORGET!!!!!!’s, and as a result I am seeing people a lot less. Really seeing people. You know, the kind of seeing people that looks behind their physical presence and takes a minute to stop and make eye contact, smile. I was paused particularly long at a stop sign on the way over (Where are all these people coming from!?!) when I noticed a man caught in the mass of moving crosswalk people. He reminded me of my dad, an ordinary man in his 50’s, in his khaki pants with his button up shirt, work lanyard around his neck. He walked with purpose (likely to cross the street because he could feel my inpatient stop sign rage) and his eyes looked a million miles away.

What was his story?

I stopped at the stop sign a bit longer than needed, temporarily caught up in the realization that each of these pedestrians had delicately woven lives. They have financial burdens, maybe going through a death of a family member or the stress of dealing with a wild child. They may be facing a diagnosis or are worrying about what will happen if their furnace stops working before month’s end. The thing is, every person we encounter is going through something. And yet, me with my self-absorbed head, just keeps running around completely oblivious that a little extra grace and patience might just be what this person needs.

Our worship leader at church prayed these words recently and they have stuck with me – “Let us show others unnecessary kindness.”

Maybe that sales lady at Gap didn’t mean to give me a look and even if she did, the returned look back isn’t going to help matters. A smile in return may be just what she needs. (And sometimes even if kind gestures backfire, I can’t say I didn’t try.) Perhaps the slow-merging driver is just a nervous driver or distracted by the racing thoughts of her mind. Slowing down long enough to let her over and then not trying to prove a point with a dramatic slowdown isn’t really going to impact my day significantly. In fact, it’s showing a lot less of His love and only steals my joy as I let circumstances dictate my emotions.

I want my eyes to be open to others this Christmas season. I don’t want to find excuses for my attitude or the busyness. I want to move more in slow motion and less in fast forward, even if it means embracing the random tears and exuding more patience that I feel.

Right before I began typing this post, I scribbled these words in my prayer journal (not with the intention to share so ignore my messy handwriting, hehe):

Less of me. More of Him. Less busy, more intentionality. We can do this. 15 days till Christmas, let’s enjoy them.

PS – Day 3 of letrozole today! Oh come on Lord … do your thing! Next appointment to check in on things is Monday the 15th. Keep us in your prayers.

PPS – Have you had the time to check out my post on Fertility Authority yet? If not, help me out by clicking and reading today! Every click helps me reach my monthly goals :) Thanks!

fertility authority.

December 3, 2014December 3, 201427 Comments

Happy Wednesday! I am SO excited to share with you my first post over at FertilityAuthority which goes live today. YAY! I am thrilled about this opportunity to write for this website, which for those who don’t know, is an online source for fertility information. They offer some great tools and resources for those being diagnosed and going through treatment and one of the ways they offer support is through a handful of bloggers. Yes, yours truly is one of them starting today!

So here’s what you can do – simply click here and read! Without further ado … here you go!

http://www.fertilityauthority.com/blog/chelsea-ritchie/2014/12/02/i-have-infertility-i-am-just-you

I love being able to write and share my heart with a new group of readers, however know that this commitment won’t interfere with my writing here in any way. It’s simply another opportunity to connect with me (and me with you!)

And can I beg? Even if you aren’t in need of this website, I would GREATLY appreciate your click and support. I would love to come out of the gates with my community strongly behind me (and yes, I do have a minimum requirement of hits that I need to get) so your click does mean a lot! Thank you in advance for the read, shares and comments! :)

Secondly, we heard back about my blood work results last week and while we weren’t really sure what we were hoping for, we did get some answers. My results came back showing a severe Factor V Leiden mutation which essentially is a rare (less than 3%) mutation where my blood develops abnormal blood clots and is known to cause reoccurring pregnancy loss and late pregnancy miscarriages. The good news is we finally have an answer which is a gigantic answer to prayer. While this mutation can’t be “fixed”, it can be treated with twice daily injections to thin the blood, therefore lessening the chances of blood clots, particularly to the uterus while pregnant.

I was a little overwhelmed when the clinic first called with these results but was quickly reminded by my amazing support team that this answer is a blessing and the success stories once diagnosed are impressive. Even more so, I was reminded that God eats odds for breakfast and that who we serve has abilities far greater than this mutation. In fact, I am fearfully and wonderfully made and this diagnosis doesn’t come as a surprise to Him! So with that, we are stepping forward with faith that this answer is the key to unlocking a miracle.

My last day on active birth control pills was LAST NIGHT (arghhhh!) which means we will likely be starting our IUI cycle in the next few days. CRAZY! Can’t wait to keep you all posted on the exciting happenings as we walk with God back into this treatment pool and await His perfect timing. Join us in prayer, will you? Pray then click the link above. :)

Thanks my friends, for your faithfulness to our journey. We adore you guys and are so thankful for all the ways you partner with us.

“I thank my God every time I remember you.” Philippians 1:3