I NEED YOUR HELP!

Friends, I’m so excited to share that I’ve been invited to FertilityIQ’s Basecamp in San Francisco this September with a handful of other infertility community influencers. We have a rare opportunity to sit together and discuss what we can do to better serve the infertility community, learn from one another’s stories, talk with some of the top doctors at the Stanford University Medical Center and tour their labs and facilities, and put our needs and ideas into action. I don’t know about you, but I see this as a GIGANTIC GIFT to our community and I am so honored to participated and excited to work collaboratively to better support YOU, a dear friend, who, like me, is 1 in 8, suffering from infertility and fighting to stay afloat.

So here’s what you can do to help – and trust me, there’s exciting stuff in it for you too!

1) Go to THIS LINK and a Google Form will pop up. Share with us what you are wondering about! What is lacking in this community? What do you wish you had at your fingertips easier? What questions do you wish you could ask a doctor? What could bloggers do to better support you? No question is too little or big! These are the questions that will better form our time together and ensure our takeaways best support you!

Friends – we will have Reproductive Endocrinologists, Urologists, dietitians, therapists, social media experts, women like you and me – sitting around us, talking to us, desiring the chance to help you. Let’s not let this opportunity slip by! Share!

CLICK HERE! CLICK HERE! CLICK HERE!

Everyone who fills out this form will be entered to win a $150 Amazon Gift Card! 

Just note on the form (you’ll see the spot) that I’m (Chelsea) your Basecamp Ambassador and I will make sure to advocate for you and your questions, and be sure to address them when I am back as well. YAY!

Send your friends this link too because the more questions, the better! It helps us find and address themes that are lacking information and will allow us the chance to get you what you need. We will announce the winner later in September, but don’t miss out on your chance to get your questions in now!

Thank you friends! (Plus, if you spouse has some questions to ask too – tell him to send a form over too! We know infertility affects both partners and want to ensure all sides are provided support!)

#FertilityIQBasecamp

Shauna Niequist writes: “For me, writing is about control. Or, more accurately, loss of control…Writing for me feels like getting naked in public. It feels like falling to the bottom of a well and finding lots of creepy crawly things down there with you. It feels like opening up a box of snakes. It feels kooky and scary and out of control. It makes me upset sometimes, because it makes me honest … Writing is my best chance of happiness and it is the riskiest thing I can do.”

I’ve put off writing this post because I hate the feeling of exposure associated with public writing. You see, there’s nothing more vulnerable and humbling than sharing the emotions you’re feeling, and processing through them for your neighbors, your gym partners, and your friends and family to see. {Truthfully, I’d love to be anonymous today}. For me, I lose the control when my fingers start typing. And I feel SO exposed, because it’s hard to admit when you’re having a hard season to everyone around you. But I do it because I know I am not alone and if you are in the same place, you need to know this happens and you will be okay.

So here’s my struggle lately: I’ve been really sad. Weary. Defeated. Overwhelmed. Jealous. Angry. Bitter. But mostly sad. The kind of sad where you cry several times a day and you aren’t really sure why, you just know your heart is hurting and the tears are falling down your face.

I feel out of control with my emotions. As a writer, we pray for ways to relate to others, looking for messy, honest, relatable stories to write and share, but I forget it often means I have to live through those seasons myself. The gritty, tender, tear-filled ones. The ones where it feels like I am being swallowed up by grief, grief for things I can and can’t describe.

I’ve been wrestling with God – asking Him how I can feel such exhaustion and weariness and yet, be filled with joy and peaceful trust. I know all the “right answers” but it seems I’m leaking nothing but sorrow for things I can’t quite pinpoint. So I have been going back and forth, asking God why He is allowing me to feel such heavy emotions and why I am struggling so much to live out this command: “ Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Here’s my conflict. I don’t want to numb myself out – ignoring the emotions that are messy and ugly and focusing only on the joy. I have felt more convicted than ever to walk through the murk and let myself feel. So I just keep bringing these honest emotions to God and asking for help, guidance, direction, deliverance and His only response lately has just been “Eyes on Me, not your circumstances. It’s okay to feel.”

As I have been sorting, here are some thoughts:

• God can handle my grief, sorrow and questions. MY job is to bring them to Him. When I bring them to Him, it takes my eyes off of my circumstances and places them on the One who is greater than my world. It invites Him in. I can still be real while keeping my gaze upward.
• Often times I feel like I have to go – go – go to find God. Verses like “Come to me all who are weary …” and “Draw close to me …” make me exhausted in these seasons. Partially because physically I am so drained that I don’t want to “come” or “draw”, but even more so, mentally and emotionally, it feels like so much work. My friend Kyle sent me the best text the other day: “No one can tell you what’s best for you at this time. There’s not a book for all this infertility stuff. Sometimes we don’t have to stand in our trials. We can cozy up in a blanket with our Morkie {Cali} because God will find you on the sofa too.” Her words freed me to stop trying to stand with exhausted weary legs and simply collapse down, because the truth is real – God will come to us when we are too tired to go to Him. We just need to cry out His name and He meets us.
• Similarly, we have to be able to ask our friends to carry us when we can’t. In Mark 2, it talks about a paralyzed man who needed his friends to carry him to Jesus so he could be in His presence and be healed. This story touched my heart so much these last few weeks because it reminded me that it’s okay to ask your friends to carry you. To pray for you, to encourage you, to lift you up to Jesus when you can’t get there yourself. So to my friends who have listened to me cry on the phone to them the last few weeks, texted me reassuring words, sent silly snaps, and mailed encouraging notes – thank you for carrying me with your encouragement, your sensitivity and your prayers. Thank you for taking the time and energy to listen and enter into my murky emotions and tell me it’s going to be okay.
• Feelings don’t matter when it comes to God’s goodness and presence. There may be times we don’t feel like He hears us or is at work in our lives, but feelings aren’t reality. So we are to TRUST HIS WORD, above all, TRUST HIS CHARACTER, above all, and continue to PRESS IN above all. Even when we don’t feel like it will end.

Now I know what you are thinking – what in the world do you have to feel so sad about?! You have 7 embryos on ice, an upcoming transfer this fall, a great husband, blessed life, awesome friends … huh???

I totally get it and wish I could explain it to you. Because ALL of those things above lead me to rejoice! I am incredibly blessed and when I read that, I wonder how I could still have so much grief mixed into each day.

We have another miscarriage anniversary coming up this weekend (Sunday), and for the past 10 days, I just remember what it felt like 3 years ago to be pregnant. To have so much hope in my heart. I remember the positive tests, the excitement, then the bleeding, the grief. I remember how tender my heart felt at the time and I am feeling that tenderness all over again. Because friends, truthfully, I didn’t think we would still be here. And that sorrow is overwhelming. I am learning I can still fully trust God’s and be weary at the same time. This typically mellow emotion of grief is just coming in a bigger wave than usual.

I am afraid of the hope that’s to come with the cycles ahead. I am terrified at the positivity the doctor feels. I have seen, felt, experienced, hoped, for 7 embryos in the past. I have their pictures tucked away in my desk and the thought that there are 7 more to be added in the future terrifies me. Because of the potential pain, because of the lack of control, because of the love I have felt and will continue to feel. Trusting God is dangerous and I keep bringing my fears to His feet and asking Him to help me let go of them, but the waves still come. I don’t know what the future holds but I have to trust the one that does.

I’m frustrated at the expense of infertility. I get crabby when I see people able to do things or buy grand things because their babies were free. I hate that we have to think so far out, being so careful with our savings, knowing the significant cost of transferring each of these 7 babies, the tens of thousands of dollars of meds and ultrasounds and blood work to do so. A beautiful blessing but also, something additional to worry about. We keep writing a check to a storage company to properly freeze our babies, a daycare bill in an icebox for something that may never be – so few people will ever understand this financial budgeted item. Then I hate that I feel jealous and weighted down by the financial worries, because I know God will provide and take care of us. I want to buy new silverware, replace our old couch, and install some shelving without feeling like we are being irresponsible with our money. I am frustrated that I stopped working full-time to pursue treatments because I would “certainly become a mom soon”, only to be left without said title. I am tired of trying to make wise decisions so that we can live life without being handcuffed to infertility, while being kind and generous to others, and also, always being prepared for the fact that it will be a few thousand dollars each month for medication to sustain a pregnancy for 9 months. I hate that I feel frustrated that some people will never understand how hard it is to know a “normal” pregnancy will never be ahead for me.

My sorrow builds when people get offended that I can’t do it all, be it all, meet their every expectation. I am letting people down. I hear their passive comments and it just beats me down more. I am so sorry that I didn’t get a chance to text you back, or visit more often, or help you out in that way. I am so sorry. I wish I was stronger right now. I wish I could be that person for you right now. And then the cycle begins again. I am so tired.

The triggers are everywhere this month. Pregnancy announcement after pregnancy announcement. New babies born. Sweet questions asked by tender little voices about whether I am a mom yet. An abundance of miscarriages and stillbirths in the lives of people I love, restirring up the grief as I try to meet them where they are at. I want to have it all together. I want to be able to like every Facebook post you share of your family. I want to celebrate genuinely. I don’t want to feel stuck. It’s all overwhelming my heart.

And yet, through it all, God keeps speaking and reassuring me HE IS HERE WITH ME. He reminded me of this hymn the other night:
“Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.”

ALL OF THIS. These messy, gritty, dirty, sinful, stubborn, ugly, brittle emotions of mine, the ones I am so tempted to stew in, are released when we look to Him. And so I am left to navigate which emotions to let go of, and which emotions to sort through with Him, all while keeping my eyes on Jesus.

The tender instruction to take my eyes off of ME and lift them up to Him is so humbling yet incredibly freeing and refreshing. Because the me-me-me thinking depletes my joy. But looking at Him is a peaceful comfort that gives me strength. His character floods my heart. Goodness. Compassion. Mercy. Love. Full of grace. Forgiving. Wise. Faithful. Eternal. All knowing. Unchanging. Holy. The list continues on … And that list, in knowing Him, looking at Him, makes all of that “me” stuff grow so dim, diminishing in size and its power to control my emotions.

I know He doesn’t want us to be stuck but He also cares so deeply when I do feel sad. We are allowed to grieve friends. He wants us to allow Him to tenderly take care of us and trust Him enough to do just that.

And so, today I can’t really end with an answer. I believe that God has a purpose for this messy month of mine. I believe that full joy will come again. I believe the ONLY way through this is to hang on tightly to Him. Someone emailed me the other day and asked “How do you keep your faith strong during all of this, even on the bad days?” and my answer is simply to invite Him into the hard. I try to flood my ears with worship music and podcasts, journal, pray, often out loud, not be afraid to cry and keep seeking Him. Keep reading your Bible, your devotional, something that points you towards Him.

Also, take naps. Practice self care. Give yourself grace. {I have to keep reminding myself that my body is going crazy right now, readjusting to significant drops in hormones post retrieval cycle, adjusting to a new birth control pill, chilling with my cysts, struggling with this intense back cramping again, trying to reset before changing it all up again next month …} Ask your spouse and friends to give you a little extra grace too, because you will fail them in seasons of sorrow and remind them you still love them immensely. Our lives have to be woven with the good and bad, the highs and the lows, the moments of strength and the moments of utter weakness. God takes it all and works it for His good.

And so I will continue to wrestle. To figure out how to deal with this mess with joy and thanksgiving, with tears and sadness. I will work to strip off the ugly and let the Spirit renew my thoughts and attitudes. I will trust that God knows what’s hard. I will learn to be okay with not being strong all the time. I will pray for grace, for myself, to give others and for others to give me.

I will do my best to not delete this raw post because I know I am not alone in these seasons and if you are there too, let me encourage you to sink down on the sofa with me, because God’s here too. If we will see one another soon, can I please ask you for the grace and space to process these emotions with you on my lead? This is a super vulnerable shared world and bringing it up a million of times in an unsafe place feels overwhelming to me. Just give me a little extra love and if the time is right, we can talk about it. *Hug*

“Life is a collection of a million, billion moments, tiny little moments and choices, like a handful of luminous, glowing pearls. And strung together, built upon one another, lined up through the days and the years, they make a life, a person.” –Shauna Niequist

My current pearl – June and July 2016 – is a little battered, but that’s okay. God knows, He sees. He sees your pearl too – shining and exciting, scared and grieving, or simply content and routine. He’s stringing them together, knowing what the finished product will look like. Let’s trust Him.

Hey friends!

First of all, can I just say THANK YOU for all of the support you have given to me + my author team over the last year?! We are nearing the 1 year anniversary since In the Wait was published and we’re completely blown away by what God has done. THANK YOU. For joining us, supporting us, praying for us, journeying through the study with us, and sharing what God has done in your life midst these pages. Our heart has always been and will always remain that we simply want to help women flourish in their relationship with Jesus, regardless of  waiting season they are in.

Here’s some of the amazing, encouraging words you have shared with us:

“You can tell that a LOT of compassion, prayer, and thoughtfulness went into writing this book. I’m someone who has read a lot of devotionals over the years and didn’t know what to expect with this one. This study exceeded my expectations and is my favorite study I’ve done in a very, very long time. The topic of “In the Wait” is relevant to us during so many (if not all) times of our lives. My current wait is centered around starting my family and I found it very relevant for my current situation, however anyone who is waiting for anything (marriage, a promotion at work, healing, clarity for their future) would benefit from it. The authors are very real and honest and they ALWAYS point back to scripture. This is a very interactive study so grab a journal, your Bible, a pen, this book and be ready to dive in deep!”
– Lauren

“This was just what I needed and as I have been in a season of waiting! It was well written, very relate-able I almost felt like it was written just for me. I really enjoyed this book and highly recommend it!”
– Nicole S.

“Oh, this study was great! I chose to do this study with a high school student I am mentoring. It was amazing to see it apply so well in both of our lives although 15 years apart. The true stories from the heart really made an impression on me and have impacted my life as I go forward. The high school student I met with feels that now after completing the study her eyes have been opened to difficult situations she may encounter in her future. I highly recommend this book to any one, any age looking to simply improve their Christian walk.”
– Anna E.

“This book has changed my perspective on patience completely. I found I am more able to seek God and find peace in understanding His plans are greater than mine. This is so simple to say but was a process through this six-week study of seeking God and really digging into His word. I loved how everything was tied back to His word and founded in truth. I pick this book up frequently since I finishing the study for little reminders that have been left hidden in my heart and impact how I live. Thank you “In the Wait” ladies for putting together this book to give us a better understanding of seasons of wait no matter what that wait is.”
– Natalie

All of these words remind us that God is faithful in following through when we venture into an unknown. So so grateful!

(Side Note: if you would love to help us out and leave us a review on Amazon, we would GREATLY appreciate it! Simply click here and scroll to the Customer Review section. You’ll see the option and it should only take a few seconds. You rock.)

Now, I have TWO exciting announcements!

1. You guys have brought In the Wait into small groups all over the world. You’ve taken this devotional and combined it with community and that makes our hearts pitter patter! In fact, thanks to your requests and with your encouragement, we are in the final stages of publishing an In the Wait Leaders Guide, which will be available for sale on Amazon and Holly Holt Design by the end of August 2016. YES! This 80+ page guide will provide you with everything you need to take In the Wait from a self-study devotional into a small group. Conversation Questions, Tips and Tricks as a Leader, Individual Study Session Guides, How to Form a Small Group, etc … We are so excited to help equip YOU to bring women together. More details will be out in the coming weeks … but I would love to ask you to begin praying about what God may have planned for you this fall or winter. Maybe He’s asking you to branch out, become a leader, met with some friends over coffee and authentically dive into real life, focusing on growing in Him.

2. Perhaps you aren’t in a place to dive into or lead a small group this year … we have another option! Did you know twice a year we offer an online Bible study community to journey through In the Wait together with women all over the world? And spots are NOW open for our FALL 2016 group!

The purpose of this group is to build community, help create accountability, encourage you right where you’re at today, and provide you with a safe place to process through what God is teaching you. All women, in all different seasons of waiting, of all ages, who have the book, are invited to join! And the timing of this study is perfect. It will usher in some daily quiet time prior to advent and what always becomes a busy holiday season. I truly believe God is going to move and stir in your heart as you continue to press forward into His.

If this is the first time you’re reading about the In the Wait devotional, check out this page on my blog to learn more, check out study details here, or look us up on Amazon. Between these three spots, you’ll a great idea of what this study is all about!

Our goal for this study is to show that we can take these seasons of waiting – exciting, easy, hard and painful ones – and grow closer to God in them. It is possible to live life FULLY while being in an unknown season.

Thanks to the incredibly helpful feedback of participants in our last 2 online groups, we’ll be adding some awesome features for this next session too! A few new highlights:

– Each week will be author-led, full of videos and unique engagement on the stories and words shared that week;
– Tons of NEW downloads, lock screens, prints and resources;
– A members directory will be available immediately, giving you the chance to connect with people in a similar season and build on the friendships that begin;
– New daily questions, polls, community-building interactions and a solid, strong prayer group;
– And that’s just to name a few!

Membership / Access to the group will be LIMITED to 150 spots, first come first serve so I wouldn’t wait too long to sign up, they are already starting too fill up! Membership is $5 (less than $1 a week!) and will give us the chance to provide you lots of extras (like snail mail!).

***To purchase access to the online small group and learn more, click here: http://www.hollyholtdesign.com/shop/online-bible-study-access***

Our purpose for this online small group is threefold:
1) to build a safe community with others who are also in a season of waiting;
2) to create accountability to have daily quiet time; and
3) to encourage each of us, right where we are, to process what God is teaching us all.

So maybe you have a friend that comes to mind that may want to join you … INVITE THEM! Or maybe you’d love to help act as God’s hands + feet and share a little about your journey with ‘In the Wait’ on social media … we’d adore that! Tag us on Instagram at @IntheWaitStudy and #IntheWaitStudy!! Here are some images for you to share if you would be so kind!

Let’s all celebrate what God is doing … because without Him, NONE of this would be possible! Amen!? 

Happy July friends! This summer is flying by, isn’t it? It’s a hot one in Minnesota this week and I am so thankful for comforts like air conditioning, iced coffee and sundresses! Let’s just right into my July Crushes!

1. Comforting worship songs.

My friend Lindsay emailed me this song with the sweetest words of encouragement and it’s been on repeat lately. The lyrics touched my heart and I know they will yours too. (Take Courage ft. Kristene DiMarco)

Also, Hillary Scott’s song Thy Will. Whooooof! All the tissues please! I love these powerful lyrics too.

2. This Younique Glorious Primer.

Gals, this primer is the best. I have been through quite a few different kinds, trying to find the best value for the quality product and finally have the one. It’s much larger in size than other primers’s, meaning you don’t need to replace it often, (I only go through 2 tubes a year – max!). It’s soft, you don’t need much, and works SO well.

My friend Vanessa sells it if you don’t have a Younique consultant yet and I promise it’s SO worth it. (And don’t even get me started on their liquid foundation. Life changer.)

3. UnderClub Subscription Boxes.

Who else has a bad habit of never treating themselves to a new pair of undies? I can’t be the only one! I swear my underwear drawer can get neglected at times and with as many times as I am dressing and undressing at doctor’s appointments, it’s also one clothing item that I see over and over and over again! So – new best thing – Underclub! They are a subscription company that sends you new undies each month, based completely on your preferred styles and fit preferences. They come in the cutest little package and you can review your pair each month. Ladies, if you need to freshen up your drawer, or just want to feel pampered before long stretches of doctor’s appointments, this is the subscription club for you! Go check them out.

4. Funny Girls of Fertility t-shirts.

My friend Sharon has the best website devoted to selling different TTC t-shirts. Oh my goodness, they are SO soft and her whole mission is to heighten infertility awareness. Check out her shop! Here’s the one I am sporting this month!

5. This emailed devotional.

Daily Double Portions from Sarah’s Laughter emailed out this great devotional a few days ago and it was just the words I needed to read. I wanted to share it here, even though it’s a lengthy July Crushes addition, because I am certain there’s someone else whose heart needs to read it too:

I have a favorite song.  Do you?  They play my favorite song on the radio all the time and every time they do, I turn up the volume and sing along like a teenager.  If the apostle Peter were alive today, I like to think he’d like my favorite song, too.

Let’s talk a little about Peter.  You just gotta love Peter.  A part of Jesus’ inner circle during His earthly journey, Peter was rambunctious and often spoke before thinking things through.  He did everything with a wild fierceness–including loving and denying.  Maybe I like Peter because I see a little bit of myself in him.

Perhaps my favorite story about Peter is found in Matthew 14 where he and his buddies are huddling together in mind-numbing fear in a rain drenched boat in the middle of the Sea of Galilee.  They were facing a certain death unless something miraculous happened.  They looked out onto the Sea, and their miracle came walking to them on the surface of the waters.  Jesus appeared to them in the very middle of their storm.

Enter Peter.  Peter sees Jesus walking on the water and decided he just had to join Him.  Maybe he thought the storm would die down before his feet danced on the waves.  The thought of water splashing in his face and choking him was not in the forefront of his mind when he leapt out of the boat.  Believe it or not, I’m not being critical of Peter.  Would I have had the faith to step out of the boat?  I really don’t know.  But Peter did and he joined Jesus on a stroll that no one else ever had.

Peter was not totally successful that night, though, was he?  Before he’d had a chance to hardly get his feet wet, he took his eyes off of Jesus–for only a moment–and he began to sink.  Maybe you can relate to Peter, especially in the arena of infertility.  You step out of the boat of frustration and disappointment to tell your husband and your friends that you will not let infertility drag you down anymore.  You know God has a plan and you’ll wait patiently for it.  Then you have lunch with a friend, and the table next to yours hosts a woman with a newborn baby–the same age yours would have been had you not miscarried.  You take your eyes off of Jesus for a moment, the pain of infertility splashes you in the face like a thousand hurricanes, and you begin to sink.  Maybe it was the commercial that played during your favorite tv show: Having a baby changes everything.  Not having a baby changes everything too, including your firm footing on the sea of pain and disappointment.  Before you know what hit you, you’re drowning–again. 

What’s going to happen to you?  The same thing that happened to Peter. Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him…(Mt 14:31) Peter cried out to Jesus to save him, and without a moment’s delay, Jesus rescued him.

This is probably the point where you’re expecting me to tie this up with a pretty bow, and tell you how this applies to your struggle to have a baby.  Nope.  I’m not there yet.  I haven’t even told you what my favorite song is.  (Have you guessed yet?)  

The part of this story that I want you to focus on is not actually something that you read in Scripture.  Instead, I want you to focus on what we don’t see in this passage of Scripture.  When did the writer tell us about Jesus letting go of Peter?  After He reprimanded him for his lack of faith?  After they got back in the boat?  Did He hang on to him just long enough for him to catch his breath, and then let go again?  No.  In this account of Peter stepping out of the boat, walking on water, and needing to be rescued once more, there is never any mention of Jesus letting go of Peter.

While this doesn’t mean that Jesus and Peter walked around holding hands for the remainder of Jesus’ earthly ministry, I do not believe that that little tidbit of information was left out on accident.  Jesus didn’t let go of Peter during this story.  He knew just how long to hold on to him until he could stand strong, and He didn’t let go one moment too soon.  

Here’s the bow–and the song.  He’ll never let go. Through the highs and through the lows.  Through the calm and through the storm.  Through infertility and the marital stress it brings.  He’ll never let go.  Through negative tests and miscarriages.  Through positive tests and happy delivery rooms.  He’ll never, ever let go. (In case you’re wondering–Never Let Go by Matt Redmon is my favorite song.  Incidentally, he wrote this song after he and his wife suffered back to back miscarriages.)

If you can relate to Peter–trying, failing, stepping out, falling down–remember what Peter knew.  Jesus will never, ever let go of your hand.  If you listen closely, you may just hear Peter humming my favorite song.

I’ve had one of those months where my eyes have come off of Jesus and focused majorly on my own circumstances – my unanswered prayers, my aches, my emotions. None of those are wrong to process through, but when we focus more on ourselves then on Him, well, we sink. And I’ve been sinking. (More on that another day). This email came at the perfect time and was God’s way of saying “Chin up Chelsea! Look at me! Stop looking down! Give me the chance to hold on to you.”

 

Okay, lastly, Cali wanted to share one of her July Crushes – Dogs Love Kale treats! She got a surprise in the mail from our friend Ashley and was trying so hard to be polite and patient. She cracks me up!

(What doesn’t make her Favorites list is being swaddled by Mom. HA! Sorry doggie, until I have a baby, you’re it.)

Have a fabulous weekend!

 PS – I totally spaced on wishing my hubby a happy 11th anniversary here AND a happy 34th birthday! Babe, you’re the bee’s knees and truly, I am so thankful to be doing life with you. Love you dearly!

Hi friends! I was recently asked be to a part of a community post, joining in the voices of 40+ infertility bloggers, to answer a simple question: How do you stay positive while going through infertility?

We know that infertility affects 1 in 6 couples and often times, these couples can feel alone. It is hard to pull yourself up from the overwhelming feelings of failure and shame. What I love about this post is that its comes from women who are just like you, who have experienced the same types of heartbreaks as you have, and now want to rally together to help you keep your chin up.

I was inspired reading each answer and hope you are too.

---

 

On a different note, I was also recently invited to write over at Compared to Who which is a wonderful blog devoted to helping Christian women improve their body image and find freedom from comparison. A special thanks to Heather for warmly welcoming me to her community!

Click here to read post

(Psssst – there is a special coupon code now active until July 15th in that article for anyone looking to purchase ‘In the Wait‘!) 

---

I’ll close today with a Scripture I’ve been working on learning + applying lately. I shared this on Instagram last week and was blessed to know I’m not alone. Here’s what I wrote:

This verse got me today. How many times have I sat there and asked God for direction? It typically goes something like this: “God, can you give me direction? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? Why aren’t You replying? Hello? What should I do? Where are You? Are You there? What’s my answer? Hello?” “Hmmm, He isn’t answering me. He must not be listening. I’m no better off then when I started praying. I don’t know why He doesn’t answer. Why do I even ask? I must not be doing this right.” Anyone else been there before? Where all you want is an ANSWER and so you ask and ask and ask and get NOTHING. So you stop praying about it. You transition to just wishing about it, talking to your friends about it, getting frustrated about it, and posting pretty memes on Instagram about it, all while secretly thinking your prayers aren’t working.

Friend, can I share with you what He reminded me today?

LISTEN TO ME IN SILENCE.

L I S T E N

S I L E N C E

Renew your strength.

Basically God reminded me that to get direction for whatever it is we are praying about, we have to be quiet long enough to let Him speak. When we talk to a friend for advice, we talk, and then we listen. When we share our frustrations with a spouse, we talk and then we listen. When we ask Siri for directions, we type and then we listen. Why is it so often times we think we need to fill the entire space of conversation with God all the time? Just because He isn’t sitting in front of us physically doesn’t mean He isn’t willing or interested in responding to you. Take a breath. Close your eyes. Stop talking. Let your strength be renewed in the silence. His voice may not be audible, but His Word is. Open your Bible. Read what He has to say. Give Him time to reply. It may not happen in one day, or even one week, but He is there. He is in the silence, waiting for you to listen.

---

Happy Tuesday friends! Until next time ….

XO,

Chelsea

Somehow it’s the middle of June. Can you believe that? Gasp? I can’t! This has been a tough month with lots of circulated sadness and horror. It’s made me pause and reflect on how precious life is and how truly blessed I am in so many ways. Our church service this weekend reminded us to take the time we have in life to encourage those around us because we don’t want to live a life of “If I only …”. Don’t wait until it’s too late to speak life into a loved one, share encouraging words, give hugs. Spread joy, kindness, and lavish words of blessings to people today. Give a compliment, forgive quickly, love deeply.

With that said, it’s time for June Crushes! Here we go!

1 – Chef’s Table on Netflix. Ohhhh, guys, this is a good one! If you enjoy food and documentaries, then you have to tune into Chef’s Table (available only on Netflix).  It’s an American documentary series and each episode of the series profiles a single world-renowned chef from all over the world. Josh and I have learned about food, cultures, and lives of those in Italy, New York, Argentina, Australia, Sweden, Brazil, Thailand … just to name a few!

Our favorite episode by far was Episode 1 of Season 2, Grant Achatz of Allinea in Chicago, IL. Fascinating.

(Warning: the episodes are rated TV:14 because there is minimal, but occasional strong language or themes in some of the stories.)

Season 2 was just released this month and rumor is that Seasons 3 and 4 have been approved. Enjoy!

2 – Joyful Devotion. I was recently introduced to this awesome devotional-subscription company called Joyful Devotion. SO GOOD! This monthly box sends you the latest books and trends in the Christian community and delivers them right to your door the first week of the month. Not only do you get a current devotional, but you also get some fun lifestyle products too! (Plus access to their Private Facebook Group, which offers a place to talk about the reading, share great resources and grow in Faith together!)

Check out my June box!

• Fervent by Priscilla Shirer, which I have been hearing SO much about. (Winner of Christian Family & ECPA 2016 Book of the Year award!)
• An awesome Illustrated Prayer Journal which pair perfectly with the book, which encourages us to write out our prayers with focus. With scriptures on each page, it’s not only resourceful, but beautiful!
• A “Trust” coin purse with wristlet attachment. Love the teal color, especially for the summer!
• A Bible verse keychain.
• An new bookmark, perfect for my new book!

This July box features Wild and Free and tons of other goodies. In fact, it’s not too late to snag a July box, while supplies last! You can head over to Joyful Devotion and grab one today. Use “SIGN10” for 10% off too!

In fact, I am teaming up with Joyful Devotion to give away a July’Freedom’ box to one lucky winner! Head on over to my Instagram page to enter now through Wednesday! If you comment on there that you signed up for her newsletter too (pop up on her main page), you will get 5 extra entries! Whoooo hooo! Good luck!

3 – Starbuck’s Pink Drink. I literally can’t even. After seeing a Buzzfeed article about a “secret pink drink” at Starbucks, I had to try it. And my friends, it. is. everything.

The summery drink is simple: just order a Strawberry Acai Refresher and ask them to make it with coconut milk instead of water. The end result is refreshing and fruity and makes me feel like I’m on a magical beach. And there’s gotta be unicorns floating around somewhere too. Maybe even endless rainbows and sparkly skies.

Add this to your summer bucket list of things to try, then let me know what you think. I have to limit myself to one a month because otherwise, I would be there every stinking day drinking the “pink drink”.

4 – This Quote. Have you guys found this summer to be exceptionally full already? I don’t know if it’s just me, but between going back to work briefly this summer, working on a garage sale, celebrating all sorts of occasions, engaging with friends and family, volunteering, writing, coffee-ing, bringing meals to friends, (the list goes on and on), the days have just flown by.

(Side note: I LOVE everyone who has reached out to get together this summer. People who are intentional about making time together happen and getting a day on the calendar are my jam. Thank you friends.)

Anyways, I was on a walk with Cali one morning, processing through my week ahead while listening to a podcast, when this quote realigned me.

“Jesus was never so rushed that He couldn’t be interrupted. He always had time for those in need.”  (Steven Furtick)

It was such a great reminder to me that even when things are busy, we don’t need to live rushed lives! We need to be cautious in planning our days so that we don’t unintentionally eliminate opportunities to slow down, smile at the cashier, say hello to barista, make small talk with the elderly man in the line behind you, or help a stressed mom load her bags in the car. Busy, in the right season and with the right balance, isn’t bad, but rushed can be. It made me really opened my eyes to ensure that my day, no matter what it holds, always has time to help those in need. So yes, loved that reminder.

5 – In the Wait Spotify Playlist. During both of our Facebook community groups for ‘In the Wait‘, we asked participants to share some of their favorite worship songs for getting them through a waiting season, or simply, songs that brought them encouragement. What’s unfolded is this playlist that houses over 5 hours of praise and worship songs that will make your soul sing and your hearts encouraged. Feel free to follow or play when you need a little mood boost!

Hope you all have a great rest of the month! My summer time blogging schedule is always a little more sporadic but I love the grace y’all give me. A small fertility update – it looks like our transfer will be on/around the first week of October. It feels so close, yet so far away! Keep those prayers coming! All of the prep for that will begin in August and of course we will keep you posted!

XO!

Chelsea

Happy belated Father’s Day to all the dads out there today – the ones who have been blessed with kiddos, the fur dads, the step dads, the dads that hold their babies in their hearts instead of their arms and the dads that are to be. We love you all and celebrate you and the roles that you play in the lives of those around you today and every day!

We are so blessed with two fantastic dads, but we know that’s not always the case for many. Or perhaps your own dad isn’t on earth anymore and my heart breaks for you. We recognize your aches today as well and are thankful there’s another Father who loves you so!

There’s been a lot of grief and sorrow in the world recently and as a result, on social media. With it has come heightened emotions, spitting words, domineering opinions and confusion. It’s left me speechless, unsure of what to say, not wanting to fill the world with more words without action.

Sin sucks. Satan, it really seems like you’re winning most days, doesn’t it? I can only imagine the glee on your face when you see people, made after God’s own image, self destructing all by themselves. It breaks my heart because we’ve been given peace and freedom and victory, and yet, when not taken, we get tangled in the snarls of brokenness and sin and the consequences are devastating. And I hate it. I’m in the snarls too. And I want out.

Lord, I feel like the waves of fear and grief just keep striking. Lives are lost and those are lives of children You’ve loved, children You’ve died for. Oh how Your heart must be breaking too as a Father.

I don’t get it. I don’t know what’s next. I can’t keep reading the rage, the hate, the bitterness. Lord, we simply need more of You. We need You, Jesus, to redirect our hearts, our hope, and our minds. Lord, thank you for being there for us, even when we aren’t even close to understanding. Thank you for knowing about these tragedies so far in advance that You came to offer us something to maintain our hope and promise us ultimate victory in this broken world. That is what I cling to.

“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:13-14 – ESV)

Navigating relationships while struggling with infertility can be a challenging thing! Friends, family, significant others. We walk a line of guarding our hearts, while loving others without hesitation. We try to figure out how to protect marital intimacy while being told when we can (and can’t) have sex. We throw ourselves into the friendships and community around us, all while they may (or may not) know about the desire for a family raging inside us. We watch siblings start their families and relationships with grandparents develop with our nephews and nieces and try to navigate all the emotions that come with wanting that too. We celebrate first, second, and third pregnancies for friends, while wondering if and when, our own family will grow.

When EmpowHer asked me to write a piece about the impact on relationships while struggling with infertility, I jumped at it. It’s not often talked about and I wanted to start the conversation. Start it. Because there is so much more to be said, but for today, this is a start.

“The impact infertility plays in life is tremendous. When faced with delayed dreams to start or grow a family, personal relationships are inevitably altered, in both good ways and bad. But how? To gather a variety of experiences on this topic, I did what any other normal millennial would do … “(click here to continue reading) 

I wanted to thank the TTC community for jumping into this conversation with me and being the voices (literally!) behind this article. The words you shared were vulnerable, real, raw, and diverse. I plan to share more of what you said this summer, so stay tuned!

Hope you all have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!

It’s hard to believe we are reaching the end of MAY. Where has this month gone? I feel like we will blink and the summer will be over. GULP! If that’s not reason to be more intentional about living fully each day, I don’t know what is!

Time for my May Crushes!

1. trösta box.

I love this monthly subscription box! The goal of trösta box is to help you prioritize and care for yourself better, sustaining a real practice of self care. The items in my May box were awesome and totally promoted relaxation and self care.

Here’s the items I got:

• A journal – ADORABLE – and also, a month long calendar of journal prompts. I love this part because it makes it easy to just jump into the fresh, clean pages with a purpose!
• A Thai Lily candle. I have to say, I can be fairly picky about my candles. You know me, I am basically 100% apple-scented candles, but this candle made by Illume, is now my new favorite scent. It’s beautiful to look at and even more beautiful to burn.
• A bath bomb. YESSSSS. A perfect self care practice for me. Give me a book, a bath tub and now, a bath bomb. Perfect! (Wine optional ….)
• This Cloverleaf Nectar perfume from Illume smells amazing. I have to say, I don’t wear perfume often but when I do, I feel a little prettier and have a pep in my step. Kind of like I have it together in life, haha. Love this!
• A fun colorful headband. I can totally see using this for working out in, or just throwing up my hair while running around to a few garage sales or to meet a friend in the park for lunch. It’s soft, comfy and doesn’t slide off my head – a huge win!
• Colorful seed bombs. I love seeing flowers in the summer and this is a chance to get my hands a little dirty, which is relaxing, as well as fruitful when you see your hard work paying off. Okay, maybe not hard work. These seed bombs are super easy (instructions included!) and basically just need to be soaked, planted and watered. Can’t wait to see how my wildflowers turn out!
• Cookies! Because, duh, nom nom.

 

You can sign up for a single box (June’s is sold out but July orders are now being taken!), or a set amount of months.

In fact, I am teaming up with trösta box to give away a free box over on Instagram, so hop over and check it out! YAY FREE THINGS! And wait, there’s more! If you use discount code TRIALSBRINGJOY at checkout, you will get 25% off your first box! They go fast, so don’t delay if you want in on the next one! (They also are a great thing to send to a friend as a surprise!)

(You will enter by following me and trösta box on Instagram, tagging a friend in the comments and then for an extra entry, signing up here http://trostabox.com/trialsbringjoy for a one more chance to win!)

2. Made to Crave devotional by Lysa Terkeurst.

I know the book Made to Crave is popular, but did you know Lysa also wrote a 60 day devotional on the same topic? I actually haven’t read the book, but have gone through this devotional multiple times and love it. As I rebooted my fitness journey last week, I picked it up again and take time to read through a day’s reading every morning. It’s Biblical, encouraging, and empowering. If you are looking for something short to read each day, specifically on the topic of breaking bad fitness/eating habits, this is it!

3. Norwex Mattress Spray Cleaner. Ahhhh, it felt SO good this weekend to change our sheets, flip our mattress, wash blankets and mattress covers. One of the easiest ways we clean our mattress is using Norwex’s Mattress Cleaner spray! This stuff is the greatest thing ever. It’s an paraben-free, enzyme-based formula designed to help remove organic material and provide a deep cleaning of body oils, pet dander and other contaminants from pillows, comforters, pet bedding, fluffy toys and fabric furniture. We seriously just strip everything, spray it (1-2 for pillows, 5-6 for our bed), then let it air dry for 3-4ish hours. I can tell when we have cleaned it because I breath better at night, my allergies virtually disappear and Josh stops snoring! It’s crazy! We do it about every month or so (okay, maybe 6ish weeks). They say for optimal treatment, to do it monthly, but minimally quarterly. So so so easy. A bottle lasts a little over a year for us and it’s safe and non-toxic. That makes me happy!

If you are interested in ordering it, or any other Norwex products, you can pop over to my website to buy. (I have had this for a while but am not actively consulting. I just ADORE all their cleaning products and cloths so if you ever need to stock up on Norwex, feel free to do so here if you don’t already have a regular consultant!

Link to product: https://chelsearitchie.norwex.biz/en_US/customer/shop/product-detail/29609

Link to catalog: https://chelsearitchie.norwex.biz/

(A few of my favorite products are: enviro cloths and polishing cloths, face and body cloths, the mop, laundry detergent, and the bottle brush cleaner.)

4. “Can’t Stop the Feeling” by Justin Timberlake. Is anyone NOT snapping their fingers and jamming to this song this month? I don’t typically listen to the radio but when it’s on, this is a crank-it-up, windows-down, shoulders-swagging moment.

5. Sarah’s Laughter daily devotionals. I had a reader (Hi Nicole J!) connect with me and let me know about this awesome Monday-Friday emailed devotional called Sarah’s Laughter.The“Daily Double Portions” are full of support and hope for those struggling with the unmet desire for a child. It’s all Biblically based and incredibly relatable. They share “stories of triumph over impossible medical situations, Biblical accounts of infertility and how God intervened, plus testimonies of couples who know the devastation of infertility—and have words of encouragement to pass on.” I have LOVED reading them and find myself forwarding them on to friends all the time. If you are looking for some extra encouragement and being pointed back to Him, check it out! You can sign up here: http://www.sarahs-laughter.com/daily-double-portions.html

Alright friends, that’s it! Don’t forget to check out the trösta box giveaway over on Instagram! Till next time!