i’m a mom.

  Today was the day! THE DAY. As I sit and type this, I have 2 tiny little babies floating around my uterus, where I hope they soon attach. It’s crazy to think about all that has gone into THIS moment. It’s exciting and makes every poke, prod and side effect worth it.

As you know, I shared the news on Monday that we had 14 eggs retrieved. We got a call on Wednesday that out of those 14 eggs, 9 had fertilized and were progressing nicely. Praise God! Friday we heard that 8 were still progressing, with 4 particularly strongly than the others. We are so grateful for everyone that joined us in prayer for these embryos.

Our transfer was this morning. Josh and I have a tradition of going out to a new breakfast joint before the transfer process. Being that check-in was at 11:00 this time instead of 8:30 last time definitely made breakfast one that we were more alert for, haha. I even  got to enjoy one of my favorite breakfast items – salmon – for what hopefully is the last time for the next 9 months. Afterwards, we headed to the clinic!

Getting into the car and getting ready to head to breakfast!!!

Getting into the car and getting ready to head to breakfast!!!

Our yummy breakfasts!

Our yummy breakfasts!

After going through some paperwork, we met with the doctor on-call who let us know that 3 of our embryos had survived the night. There are several different stages of embryos – the final two stages being a morula stage and the last stage being a blastocyst. Many of you have heard me use those terms before. (Our last cycle we transferred 1 morula and 1 blastocyst). He let us know that all 3 embryos left were morulas nearing the stage of blastocyst and on a scale of grades 1-4 (1 being the best), all were 2’s. The embryology lab selected the best 2 to transfer. The lab will give the last remaining embryo until tomorrow to transition so that we can freeze it. (Our clinic will only freeze blastocyst stage embryos). We hope and pray that our last little one progresses  through the night so that we can freeze it. It would bring a lot of peace of mind to add that to our other frostie baby and have the potential to do one last transfer of 2 embryos if/when need be. We will get a call tomorrow about that – please be praying!

Lucky socks ... on! Thanks Kristen for sending these to me - a huge hit with the nurses!

Got our sexy outfits and hair nets on!

Lucky socks ... on! Thanks Kristen for sending these to me - a huge hit with the nurses!

Lucky socks … on! Thanks Kristen for sending these to me – a huge hit with the nurses!

Meeting our babies for the first time ... brings tears to my eyes every time I look at them!

Meeting our babies for the first time … brings tears to my eyes every time I look at them!

The transfer itself was very smooth. After I dope up on strong Valium, I was relaxed for the procedure. Josh is allowed in the room with me and it’s a very special experience to watch the screen and literally see our babies being transported into their new home. I spent some time in the procedure room immediately following the transfer and then was moved to the recovery room to continue resting flat. An hour and a half later, we drove home where I will now be on strict bed rest of the next few days, followed by RELAXING and couch rest the days after. We know if the embryo/embryos will implant, it will be in the next 48-72 hours of so. Please join us in prayer as we hope and pray with all our might and hearts, that this is Gods will for our family.

You have to look close, but in the middle of the screen you will see a white dot (close the the cursor arrow) which are our babies!!! :)

You have to look close, but in the middle of the screen you will see a white dot (close the the cursor arrow) which are our babies!!! :)

The timing is very special, with Mother’s Day being tomorrow. Never before have I been able to say I am actually with child on this special day. This is a tough day for women who long to hold a baby in their arms, who struggle with infertility or who have lost a baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or early delivery. We are still moms. I feel strongly that motherhood begins with a longing love for your child, with believing that your child is out there. God is in the process of creating a perfect child for us in His time and the strength to fight this battle means you’re a mom and deserve to be celebrated.

Sometimes it doesn’t seem fair, that in order to get the Buy One Get One Free deal at Caribou, you have to be a mom or in order to get a free cup of coffee at church, you must have kids; that only if you are a mom will you get a rose handed to you at a store entrance or that you have to listen to the children’s choir sing a song about how much they love their mom’s in church tomorrow morning. I am secretly glad that I can avoid the “Are you a mom? No? Then please take your seat … give me back the rose.” conversation. My sadness means no disrespect to those of you who ARE mom’s and get to have a day all about you! I am glad you have this day and you deserve to be celebrated. Your job, your investment, and your love for your children deserves a free cup of coffee or a BOGO at Caribou, you deserve breakfast in bed and a song sung to you by your kids. It’s just hard for people like me.

But tomorrow – I am a mom. I am a mother to 2 beautiful babies that left this earth far too quickly last Christmas. And I am a mom to 2 beautiful little nuggets inside me right now. The tears well up when I think about the joy that is to come, the special time of celebrating my first Mother’s Day (hopefully next year!) when I can take the rose, accept the coffee cup and proudly hug my baby tightly in public.

I love you all dearly – for the support and prayers. For the amazing packages that have shown up at my door filled with goodies for my bed rest days and things to cheer me up. I adore my husband for willingly watching hours of Gilmore Girls with me as I sit on the couch, unable to “scrunch” as he calls it and for waiting on me hand and foot, treating me like a queen. I am so appreciative to my family who dropped off meals today so I could stop eating only cheese sticks. For the texts, comments, “likes”, and cards. For Cali standing guard by me all day, watching me to make sure I am ok.

Sent from Mary-Ellen <3

Sent from Mary-Ellen <3

Sent from Jenn <3

Sent from Jenn <3

My little Cali bug, never more than an arms length away.

My little Cali bug, never more than an arms length away.

These 2 babies already belong to God. They are His and I am honored to be able to carry them for Him and love them for the days to come. He knows every cell in them right now, their life, their name. I am honored to be a part of their journey. I only hope I get the chance to raise them to be children that love and serve Him. Keep praying … we have a long 2 week wait now before a series of blood tests. The first telling us if the baby/babies implanted and the second letting us know if the pregnancy, if there is one, is viable. Two intense potential phone calls. But God is good and in control and its all in His hands now. What a relief it is to hand over that worry!

17 thoughts on “i’m a mom.

    • chels819 says:

      Haha! Linds, I love you! It basically means I have 2 babies in my stomach that now have to decide to attach to my uterus so they can survive. In order to be pregnant, they have to latch on. So we pray!!! :) And I am thrilled!! Xoxox!

  1. Olga says:

    Yay!!! I am also on bed rest after transferring 1 blast (today is my last day of being a couch potatoe)! I assume you didn’t develop OHSS this cycle, right? Praying for both of us!

    • chels819 says:

      Olga, how are you feeling?? I am wishing you the best cycle result EVER!! Take care of yourself! I didn’t have any OHSS symptoms this cycle other than lots of fluid, but that all went down naturally. Continuing to keep you in my prayers – be sure to keep me posted!!!

      • Olga says:

        I am feeling well, Chelsea, thank you! I have six more days to wait until THE CALL… Not sure if I want to even pick up the phone :/ At least for now I can let my mind wonder and pretend that I might be caring a baby :) Hang in there! It’s funny, how I miscalculated the “birth time”, for some reason I thought it was Feb., but maybe we are both carying little January Babies :) :) :)

      • chels819 says:

        YES! We WILL have January babies, unless we are overdue. But I am feeling hopeful for us!! I am praying for the next 6 days to fly by for you … the call is the worst part. A friend has the call go to her hubby which I thought was wise. Will you test at home beforehand to give yourself a heads up? Seriously, that phone call anticipation is the worst. We can do this!! Stay strong!

      • Olga says:

        No, I don’t think I will do HPT this time… I don’t want to get false BFN or BFP! There are way too many hormones going through my body right now to trust HPT… A few hours ago I felt a few very sensible pokes in my tummy! Please, let it be IT!!! :) I am sorry I flood your blog! BTW, I requested friendship in Instagram – I am dr****mom! Prayers for our January babies!

  2. Sarah says:

    Stick, babies, stick!! Will be thinking of you and hoping that you will be meeting these babies by early next year. And I agree, even those that are not technically mothers yet but long to be deserve some recognition too. Happy Mother’s Day to you!

    • chels819 says:

      Thank you so much! I appreciate the lovely Mothers Day wishes and pray that next January we are greeted with the best sounds of an infants cries. Thank yo so much for the sticky wishes!! :)

  3. Sweet Mama K says:

    So glad that tomorrow will be a happy day for you! I know you have waited a long time for this month and time, so glad it has finally arrived. Praying for only good news from this point on!

    • chels819 says:

      Thank you so much! I will gladly accept only good news from now on, ha! I appreciate all your support and prayers along the way Kate! Truly, thank you!

  4. Nat says:

    Congratulations! I am so ridiculously excited for you! I will continue to pray that this is the start of your new and wonderful journey! You will be a wonderful mummy! I am so sorry for you loss last Christmas (I am a newish reader, early this year I was trying to find comfort on instagram by finding women that were going through the same journey as me, little that did know I was pregnant already – we had been trying for 15 months at that stage and had just booked to see a fertility specialist and one of the tests preformed cleared out a blockage.) Losing our baby was that hardest thing that I have ever had to go through, but God’s grace, love and comfort has gotten me through the early stages of this pregnancy. He took all my worries and fears and let me know all was going to be okay :D I have had a short journey compared to many many women, but in that year and bit God has molded me into a better mother and changed my perspective completely!

    • chels819 says:

      Thank you so much for your comment! I am so glad that you have started reading along and I am so sorry for your loss as well. Only people that experience it can ever truly understand the pain of losing something that you learn to love so immediately. I am so glad to know that you have the love of our God carrying you through this – it really is the only thing that makes it all easier! No length of time, short or long, TTC minimizes the grief that this journey can cause. So please know you will be in my prayers! Keep in touch!

  5. catschristmas says:

    Lovely to read such a positive post, and to see such happy, optimistic faces! Thats a rarity these days! Thanks for giving me a boost on Day 1 of my first IVF journey and good luck :-)

    • chels819 says:

      Aw what sweet words to read! I am praying for you and your IVF cycle! It’s physically tough to go through this, but I promise you, its worth every poke and blood draw. At the end, you are going to be one step closer to your baby! I will be keep you in my thoughts – please keep in touch!! You can do this!!

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