Today was the day! THE DAY. As I sit and type this, I have 2 tiny little babies floating around my uterus, where I hope they soon attach. It’s crazy to think about all that has gone into THIS moment. It’s exciting and makes every poke, prod and side effect worth it.
As you know, I shared the news on Monday that we had 14 eggs retrieved. We got a call on Wednesday that out of those 14 eggs, 9 had fertilized and were progressing nicely. Praise God! Friday we heard that 8 were still progressing, with 4 particularly strongly than the others. We are so grateful for everyone that joined us in prayer for these embryos.
Our transfer was this morning. Josh and I have a tradition of going out to a new breakfast joint before the transfer process. Being that check-in was at 11:00 this time instead of 8:30 last time definitely made breakfast one that we were more alert for, haha. I even got to enjoy one of my favorite breakfast items – salmon – for what hopefully is the last time for the next 9 months. Afterwards, we headed to the clinic!
After going through some paperwork, we met with the doctor on-call who let us know that 3 of our embryos had survived the night. There are several different stages of embryos – the final two stages being a morula stage and the last stage being a blastocyst. Many of you have heard me use those terms before. (Our last cycle we transferred 1 morula and 1 blastocyst). He let us know that all 3 embryos left were morulas nearing the stage of blastocyst and on a scale of grades 1-4 (1 being the best), all were 2’s. The embryology lab selected the best 2 to transfer. The lab will give the last remaining embryo until tomorrow to transition so that we can freeze it. (Our clinic will only freeze blastocyst stage embryos). We hope and pray that our last little one progresses through the night so that we can freeze it. It would bring a lot of peace of mind to add that to our other frostie baby and have the potential to do one last transfer of 2 embryos if/when need be. We will get a call tomorrow about that – please be praying!
The transfer itself was very smooth. After I dope up on strong Valium, I was relaxed for the procedure. Josh is allowed in the room with me and it’s a very special experience to watch the screen and literally see our babies being transported into their new home. I spent some time in the procedure room immediately following the transfer and then was moved to the recovery room to continue resting flat. An hour and a half later, we drove home where I will now be on strict bed rest of the next few days, followed by RELAXING and couch rest the days after. We know if the embryo/embryos will implant, it will be in the next 48-72 hours of so. Please join us in prayer as we hope and pray with all our might and hearts, that this is Gods will for our family.
The timing is very special, with Mother’s Day being tomorrow. Never before have I been able to say I am actually with child on this special day. This is a tough day for women who long to hold a baby in their arms, who struggle with infertility or who have lost a baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or early delivery. We are still moms. I feel strongly that motherhood begins with a longing love for your child, with believing that your child is out there. God is in the process of creating a perfect child for us in His time and the strength to fight this battle means you’re a mom and deserve to be celebrated.
Sometimes it doesn’t seem fair, that in order to get the Buy One Get One Free deal at Caribou, you have to be a mom or in order to get a free cup of coffee at church, you must have kids; that only if you are a mom will you get a rose handed to you at a store entrance or that you have to listen to the children’s choir sing a song about how much they love their mom’s in church tomorrow morning. I am secretly glad that I can avoid the “Are you a mom? No? Then please take your seat … give me back the rose.” conversation. My sadness means no disrespect to those of you who ARE mom’s and get to have a day all about you! I am glad you have this day and you deserve to be celebrated. Your job, your investment, and your love for your children deserves a free cup of coffee or a BOGO at Caribou, you deserve breakfast in bed and a song sung to you by your kids. It’s just hard for people like me.
But tomorrow – I am a mom. I am a mother to 2 beautiful babies that left this earth far too quickly last Christmas. And I am a mom to 2 beautiful little nuggets inside me right now. The tears well up when I think about the joy that is to come, the special time of celebrating my first Mother’s Day (hopefully next year!) when I can take the rose, accept the coffee cup and proudly hug my baby tightly in public.
I love you all dearly – for the support and prayers. For the amazing packages that have shown up at my door filled with goodies for my bed rest days and things to cheer me up. I adore my husband for willingly watching hours of Gilmore Girls with me as I sit on the couch, unable to “scrunch” as he calls it and for waiting on me hand and foot, treating me like a queen. I am so appreciative to my family who dropped off meals today so I could stop eating only cheese sticks. For the texts, comments, “likes”, and cards. For Cali standing guard by me all day, watching me to make sure I am ok.
These 2 babies already belong to God. They are His and I am honored to be able to carry them for Him and love them for the days to come. He knows every cell in them right now, their life, their name. I am honored to be a part of their journey. I only hope I get the chance to raise them to be children that love and serve Him. Keep praying … we have a long 2 week wait now before a series of blood tests. The first telling us if the baby/babies implanted and the second letting us know if the pregnancy, if there is one, is viable. Two intense potential phone calls. But God is good and in control and its all in His hands now. What a relief it is to hand over that worry!