Q & A part 1

February 10, 2015February 10, 201528 Comments

I am so excited to launch this Question and Answers series this month, which will be combined with questions you have sent in and featuring some fun giveaways too! (2 packages today, more to come!) Thanks to everyone who submitted a question – if you don’t see your question answered in this post, know that there will be 3 parts so yours will make its way to being answered. Also, if you didn’t get a chance to send in your question, it’s not too late! Check out the Contact page for the best way to connect or leave a question in the comments below.

Here we go!

Q: Do you have any fiction book recommendations that you enjoyed that touch on infertility in some way?

A: I know many of you went out and read What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty and have shared that you loved it! I’m so glad! I have three other books that stand out as a good read with infertility story lines. The first is The Baby Trail by Sinead Moriarty. It is written by a British author and I found it to be hilarious. There are 2 follow up books to this book character and I liked all of them. But this first one is especially relatable to many and I found myself laughing out loud and feeling incredibly understood at the same time. The other book is Barefoot by Elin Hildebrand. While the infertility story line isn’t the predominate feature, it does touch on the emotions and uses language many of us would be familiar with. The third and last one is The Things We Do For Love by Kristin Hannah. I loved this one too. All three of these are non-Christian books so there are mild/moderate adult language and elements, but nothing I wouldn’t allow my Grandma Jones to read. (Hi Grandma Jones!)

Q: What about non-fiction books? Anything that touches on infertility that’s great?

A: YES! So many I love. The first is Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. If you have read my blog for any period of time and haven’t gotten this yet, please do! Her personal essays touch on miscarriage and struggles to conceive in a Godly way (however is not the focus of the book) and this is one of my favorite books of encouragement, relate-ability and hope. (UPDATE: And today only, the e-book is 0.99 on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles!)

The second is a book I recently read called Where Have All the Storks Gone? A His and Hers Guide to Infertility by Michelle and Chris Miller. This book is a funny, touching read, written from both her perspective and his. Her point of view talks a lot about the first steps you take when you learn you are fertility challenged, a great list of questions to bring to your OB/RE, some great advice on how to ignore the comments you wish people didn’t say and what you can expect with medicated cycles and IVF. Michelle does a GREAT job with this! And then the “his” perspective – Chris talks openly and candidly about things like preparing for the changes to the “just having sex” lifestyle, learning how to read semen analysis results, the lessons he has learned as a husband throughout the journey and touching on how he keeps his sanity and stays married through it all. I am SO glad I got to read this book – it was a lot of “you too!?”. It’s funny and touching and I will go ahead and let you know, has a great ending. In fact, I like this book so much that the publisher and I are hosting a GIVEAWAY for you to win a chance to get this book for free! Yeah! Enter below – the contest will end this Friday and the winner will be announced with Friday Favorites. Be sure to enter! (If you don’t win, I would still highly suggest grabbing this book. You can find all the ordering details on their website – www.wherehaveallthestorksgone.com) (This too is written from a secular perspective but is very tasteful!)

The third book is Every Drunken Cheerleader – Why Not Me? By Kristine Ireland Waits. This book is HILARIOUS. It’s written by a Christian author and I am so encouraged and touched by this challenging book. It’s written so that you can relate to it if you are struggling with infertility but also is an amazing resource for those who are supporting someone who is struggling with infertility. There’s an entire chapter (or two) that answers the questions they have like How can I help? What should I do? What shouldn’t I do? When and what should I ask about? How can I best support my friend during this? If I could give a copy to everyone I know, I would. This book is fabulous.

I have many other book suggestions listed under my Reading Resources page so check those out too!

Q: What helps you get though the 2 week wait? Are there any fun activities that help you get your mind off of things?

A: Let me just start by saying 2 week waits (2WW) suck. Never in my life have I known 14 days to take so painfully long. That being said, somehow they do pass. During this time I like to pretend like it’s not happening, while also recording every detail of every day. Makes sense right? I briefly write in my journal each day and this actually has helped keep me sane when reflecting back and reading other 2WW entries. I realize I am crazy EVERY 2WW which somehow brings comfort that this wait isn’t extra special. But anyways, to pass the days, I love to pack my days full of distractions. Coffees with friends (decaf of course!), trips to local and free museums or zoo’s, movie nights, girls days, mall walking (but no buying anything! Never clothes shop under the effects of progesterone.), painting my nails, and doing some gentle yoga (or swimming if you have that option). Things I DON’T suggest you do – Google. STAY OFF OF FORUMS, CHAT ROOMS, AND 2WW symptom websites. I repeat, DO. NOT. DO. THIS. You will drive yourself batty and set yourself up for waves of pointless emotions because you can’t truly count yourself out of this cycle at 3dpo (3 days past ovulation) simply because your left boob doesn’t hurt as much as your right. And don’t start taking tests at 5dpo. They will never show up as positive and you will waste pointless tears. My friend Lisa once told me “I would rather be hopeful and positive and convinced I am pregnant for 13 days and utterly devastated on day 14 if I am not, then spend 14 days in nervous, scared anticipation of failure.” I love that and live by that each 2WW now. Embrace the time you have, even if it doesn’t end the way you have hoped.

But my best advice is to stay busy. I have goals to make a 2WW bucket list for my next wait – it will keep me busy and distracted! What about you? What do you like to do to keep yourself busy during the 2WW?

Q: Are there any pills or supplements you have tried that have worked well or that you would recommend?

A: This is a loaded question! I know SO many people have differing opinions on this so I will keep this brief and allow you to do your own research as well, but here’s what I would loosely recommend*: CoQ10 for egg quality (stop taking this once you get your BFP), Vitamin D (studies showing it increases your fertility), Folic Acid/Prenatal vitamin, and Melatonin (said to play a role in hormone secretion and improve egg quality). Now there are always other supplements that others use and try that are still scientifically unknown if it helps increase fertility, but certainly have positive outcomes and stories! Fairhaven Health is an online source for many of these products and I am excited to try some of the products they sent me recently, like their brand of CoQ10, FertilAid (used to enhance fertility and support overall reproductive health) and FertiliTea. I have heard so much about this tea for preconception and am excited to give it a try! I will keep you all up to date with my thoughts but so far, I am impressed!

That being said, it isn’t fair for me to get stuff and not you! So I am teaming up with Fairhaven Health to offer one lucky winner a GIVEAWAY package of two if their most popular products – valued at nearly $100! The TTC Boost Bundle for Her includes FertilAid for Women, OvaBoost, and FertileCM to encourage hormonal balance, cycle regularity, and to promote fertile-quality cervical mucus and the BFP Test Strip Little Bundle is designed to provide you with the ovulation and pregnancy tests, consisting of 15 BFP Ovulation Test Strips and 5 early detection BFP Pregnancy Test Strips. I can’t wait for someone to give this all a try! Thank you to Fairhaven Health for your generous donations – ladies, check them out and enter for this giveaway below! This giveaway will end on Friday as well and the winner will be announced with the Friday Favorites.

Well that’s it! I have managed to tackle 4 questions and I am excited for the next post in this series, hitting questions like How do you ethically handle embryo creation during IVF? and Where do you suggest finding support on this journey? Can’t wait to answer!

Okay without further ado, here’s how you can enter to win the book and the awesome Fertility package! You will enter using Rafflecopter and it’s super easy – just provide an email so that I can contact you if you win for a mailing address. You can earn more points if you follow me on Instagram, share this giveaway using social media, subscribe to my blog, or leave a comment but regardless, everyone still earns 5 free entries! Can’t wait to share these products with you!

Click Here: a Rafflecopter giveaway

* The opinions shared on my blog are based on my own thoughts, experience and knowledge gained throughout this journey. I am not a doctor or health professional so please consult your own doctor before making any changes to your health or TTC plan. It’s important for you to advocate for yourself and make your own decisions based on your health care providers plan.

friday favorites – february 6.

February 6, 2015February 6, 201512 Comments

You guys – your overwhelming support and validation over my last post – relapse – reminded me of why it’s SO important for people to be open, vulnerable and authentic. Thank you to everyone who connected with comments and love. I don’t know whether to feel comforted by or cry over the fact that well over a 100 of you reached out and said ‘me too’. To everyone who understands this feeling, I am so sorry. I am so sorry you have felt this too. Now, I urge us all, don’t get stuck. I know it’s hard, so hard, but please, promise me you will keep moving past the anger. Anger is sticky. Anger is flammable. Anger is toxic. Anger has to be dealt with and is okay to feel, but after a point, we have to dust ourselves off and move past it because otherwise the anger will consume us and we will become permanently bitter. When we begun permanently bitter people, then infertility wins. And under NO CIRCUMSTANCE do we give infertility that power. Stay strong friends and thank you for meeting me in the dirt and reminding me that the roller coasters of emotions are okay.

Now onto Friday Favorites!

Favorite Flashback: This Jimmy Fallon ‘Saved By the Bell’ sketch this week was the ultimate ‘flashback’. I mean seriously, the original cast members are in their 40’s and they were looking GREAT! Such a fun blast from the past.

Favorite Instagram Pin: Wahhhhh! A few people tagged me so that I saw the new show line made by Sahnda Marie Kids. I mean, look, mini Starbucks Velour shoes. If my heart didn’t already ache for tiny baby things, it’s now official. Aching and loving. If only I could justify this purchase. SO CUTE.

Favorite Tip: I have yet to find a brand of gluten free breadcrumbs that I love for cooking so I make my own! SO EASY! I just buy a bag of gluten free bread (I use Udi’s), throw it on a cookie sheet and toast it in the oven, leave it out for a while so it’s nice and crisp, and then pulse it in a little food processor. I sift out the larger pieces and reblend them until all of the toast is finely powdery. Store them in an air tight container and season as need for each recipe. Sometimes I just add a little salt, or some italian seasoning or leave plain – I make up a batch in bulk and it’s fast and easy and has the same consistency as real breadcrumbs.

Favorite Date: I got to spend some quality time with my sister this week which was just the best. We took advantage of a groupon at a local bistro and then roamed the mall while catching up. I am so blessed to have a sister who I can have deep, real, meaningful conversation with and our time together just filled me up. She really is amazing (and beautiful).

Favorite Cali Pic: Cali’s Auntie Bella (yellow lab) drives her a little crazy, but she wouldn’t of course fully admit that. Cali’s hilarious little diva attitude has her thinking that Bella should play by her rules and I actually think Bella gets a kick out of that. This weekend there were two pictures that made me chuckle – the first, Cali and Bella outside. This was taken right after Bella and Cali got tangled up walking and Bella tried to sit on her. The camera came out, Bella turned into a perfect sitting angel and Cali stood there like “what the heck just happened mom?!”

The second picture is from when Cali was sitting on the stairs at the cabin and Bella came down to the top of the stairs and wanted to pass her. Cali just wasn’t having it and was completely irritated by this big dog trying to take her stair space. This series made me chuckle.

Favorite Selfie: I found this awesome fur hat in Josh’s dads truck (SO WARM!) and being the weirdos we are, a husband-wife selfie had to occur. I love this guy.

Favorite Meal: We got to eat halibut cheeks this weekend, caught from an Alaskan trip Josh’s dad was on and whoa, they were delicious! They tasted like crab claw meat and I am drooling thinking about them right now. SO GOOD. And clearly gone fast because I only got a picture of the last one.

Favorite New Friend: Wednesday night I got to spend time with my girlfriends, hanging out around the kitchen counter, painting nails, eating snacks, laughing so hard. Finally around 10:30 or 11, we pulled ourselves from the counter and snuggled up on the couch to watch Man in the Moon when my new BFF, Bentley, came over to snuggle with me. I mean, seriously, if Cali only knew, she would be so jealous, but we won’t tell her now will we?

Favorite Funnies:

That’s it! Hope you have an awesome weekend. I’ll see you next week for our first Q&A series post, plus the first of three February giveaways! YAY! Until next time …

guest post – secondary infertility.

January 27, 201525 Comments

I am privileged today to share with you a guest post by one of my dearest friends, a post that has touched my heart in a profound way. I often get questions from readers about secondary infertility and while there is a similar word shared – infertility – I am unfamiliar with how to relate to the complexity of emotions that arrive when a family wants to grow just a little more. Jana has been willing to open up her heart and story in a vulnerable and real way and I am blessed to breathe the same air as this woman. Please join me in reading Jana’s journey below, both with secondary infertility and as a newly diagnosed “cyster”, while celebrating the beautiful workings of our God who is always involved. I adore her and after reading this, I know you will too. Enjoy!

Ignorance is bliss. Or is it?

When Chelsea asked me to write a guest post on secondary infertility I told her that I felt completely incompetent because our struggle to conceive has been shorter in comparison than most other infertility stories out there in the blogosphere. We haven’t experienced several years of infertility. We haven’t experienced the immense heartache of a miscarriage. We haven’t even been through a failed IUI or IVF cycle. And yet, the deceiving chatter in my head that I sometimes believe is that I shouldn’t be so discouraged with our struggles to conceive since we already have been so immeasurably blessed with two lovely children. This then only makes me feel horribly greedy and ungrateful for wanting another. And so the cycle continues… Desire. Discouragement. Guilt. Desire. Discouragement. Guilt.

Then I realized (with the help of a gracious reminder from Chelsea) that the chatter in my head was keeping me from telling our story. My hope is that in sharing it with you, you will be encouraged to know you’re not alone. I also want to share with you what we have learned throughout this journey and why we have peace even among the setbacks.

There is nothing to be ashamed of for desiring another baby – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Those of us whom struggle with secondary infertility have our own unique set of ignorant comments from well-wishers. Along with the “you just need to relax” comments, we often get “just be happy you have one <or in my case two> child(ren). Do you know how many infertile couples would love to have just one child!?”, implying as if our desires for wanting another child isn’t valid. And we’re constantly reminded at preschool that practically all of the other mommies around us are either pregnant or toting around a new little bundle of joy and telling us how lucky we are that we get to have a quiet moment to ourselves for a few hours while our kid is at school. (I won’t disagree that the break is nice but oh, what I wouldn’t give to have another baby instead of alone time at Target.) And how can I forget that wonderful question of “So when are you going to have another baby!?”.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been trying to conceive for 3 months, 1 year, or 10+ years… the loss of an envisioned dream is still loss. And the struggle of infertility is both physically and emotionally painful. But I’m a believer that pain can often bring purpose… if we allow it to.

A couple of years ago, I was at a conference where Beth Moore spoke to us about “Birthing Purpose”. She so beautifully and intricately wove in how our painful experiences birth PURPOSE in our lives. I could go on and on about the significance of this weekend in my life and how it prepared my heart (that is another blog post all together)… but, little did I know that just a few months after hearing this powerful message, we would be at the beginning of our infertility journey.

(Here are the highlight notes from Beth Moore’s message that weekend – so powerful!)

Today I want to share with you why I wouldn’t change our infertility story and that there has been a purpose revealed to me through this trial.

I never thought infertility would be a part of our story. When my husband and I decided to start trying for our first baby, I remember being so ignorantly over-confident that it would happen just perfectly according to our plan, honestly speaking, during the first month of trying. Oh how quickly my confidence changed after my first experience of peeing on that stick and getting a negative result. I was crushed but found hope in trying again that following month, however another failed cycle absolutely devastated my spirits. My husband traveled for work quite a bit during our season of trying and I actually demanded he return home for “prime time” baby-making one weekend (he didn’t complain…ha!). The 3^rd time must have been the charm and we welcomed our beautiful daughter, Chloe, into the world on Easter Sunday in 2009. Her birthday was the most beautiful day of my life and I immediately experienced euphoria in my new role of being a mom.

Fast forward a year and a half later and it was time to start trying for #2. WHAM. 1^st month trying and we were pregnant. We were blessed with our son, Clayton (Clay), in June of 2011. We fell madly in love with this flawless little boy and I couldn’t have imagined a more perfect life than the one we were living. Life was good, and as cheesy as it sounds, I felt like all my dreams were coming true.

Shortly after Clay’s birth, we went through a couple of big life changes. I stopped working and became a full-time SAHM. We also sold our house and moved in with my parents for 5 months while building a new home. Despite all the joyous blessings going on around me, I was rapidly gaining weight and found myself crying all the time for no reason. I was diagnosed with post-partum depression 9 months after Clay’s birth. I began taking depression medicine and started an intense workout regime 6 days a week trying to attain my pre-pregnancy body (which honestly wasn’t anything perfect before kids either… I have always been a yo-yo dieter battling the same 20-30 lbs.) For the first time in my life I loved working out and felt amazing on the inside, but my physical results were lacking despite my best efforts, resulting in a total weight loss of 1 measly pound after 10 intense weeks. Shortly thereafter, I stopped working out and quickly put on an additional 20 pounds (likely due to poor sleep habits, mental/physical stress and exhaustion.) Little did I know that my body was working against me and I was experiencing insulin resistance and hormone imbalances due to an unknown PCOS condition.

I was so discouraged with my weight and overall health so we put off trying for baby #3 until I could get back down to what I thought would be a healthy starting weight. Despite making extreme changes to my diet, (a whole foods approach with balancing proteins, fats & healthy carbohydrates, as well as drastically reducing my sugar intake) combined with trying too many home workout videos to count, it felt like it was impossible for me to lose weight. I beat myself up multiple times daily feeling like a big fat failure. This wasn’t an issue of willpower as I was trying harder than I had ever tried. I knew something was wrong but couldn’t figure out what. My husband was soooo supportive and validated my efforts, but I still felt so alone in the battle. (At this time I still was unaware of my PCOS condition.)

Although my health wasn’t where I wanted it, we decided it was time to start trying for baby #3 to complete our perfect family planning timeline. I had always responded very well to pregnancy and actually felt (& looked) my best during those 9 months. I was that annoyingly cheerful “I love being pregnant” woman that most pregnant women love to hate. When it came to trying again, I was ignorant to believe that since we had no problem getting pregnant with Chloe & Clay, we would have the same luck the 3^rd time around.

The first few months of trying again were the toughest… there were lots of tears and too many dollars spent on name brand pregnancy tests. We were 9 months into trying when I had my annual exam with my OBGYN. I had informed her that my cycles were regular but ranging from every 24-32 days. I asked for blood tests to be done but she said we should try with an ovulation kit and to come back in a couple months. She assured me in her flighty tone of voice that I would be pregnant next time I saw her. I left that appointment in tears and feeling defeated.

After 2 more months of getting positive results on ovulation predictor kits (OPK) and perfectly timed sexcapades, I returned to my OBGYN’s office still not pregnant. (I didn’t know at the time that I was actually getting false positives on the OPK’s which is common with PCOS.) My doctor finally agreed to order FSH & Estradiol blood work samples and do an Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). My results all came back normal and we were given our options for going forward. Given our diagnosis of “unexplained infertility” and the fact that I’m approaching 35 years of age, the doctor highly recommended that I see a fertility specialist. I walked out of that appointment completely dumbfounded.

“Fertility specialist!?” I questioned. I thought she was going to give me the magic Clomid pill and we’d be on our merry little way to having our perfectly planned little family in just a few short months. “How did we even get here!?” I kept asking myself.

I made our appointment with the fertility clinic and we were able to get in just one week later. My husband and I sat with the Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) as he began to thoroughly explain in detail what happens in the body of a woman with PCOS. I was aware of what PCOS was but didn’t think I had the typical symptoms, so it took me quite a few minutes to realize that he was politely informing me of my destiny. Within minutes I was in the exam room having an ultrasound and blood work drawn to confirm that his diagnosis of PCOS was, in fact, correct.

I was in shock but mysteriously felt peaceful and free. I felt like I finally had an answer to so many health related questions that I’ve had for over 15 years. (digestive issues, unexplained weight struggles, bouts of depression, etc…) Since being on the proper medication since my diagnosis (Metformin for insulin resistance & birth control pills to help regulate hormones), along with my continued healthy diet & regular exercise regimen, it has already significantly helped me with weight loss and my overall health. My body is FINALLY working with me and I feel the best I’ve felt in years! Praise God!

(Note: If you are struggling with infertility or secondary infertility (even if it hasn’t been a year yet), I strongly urge you to schedule an appointment with an RE. I regret not going in sooner. I learned that OBGYN’s can help you once you get pregnant but a fertility doctor’s main mission is to help you GET pregnant.)

Most significantly, I have been overwhelmed with gratitude when I think of what a true miracle Chloe & Clay are. Most people are diagnosed with PCOS in their teens or early twenties. Most are able to conceive but rarely without the help of fertility medicine and interventions. The only reason I found out that I have PCOS is due to our struggle trying to conceive baby #3.

I know this might sound crazy, but I feel like God has answered my prayers with this diagnosis – prayers that I didn’t even know I was praying. If it weren’t for infertility, I don’t believe I would have ever known about my PCOS and I would have continued to battle the health and weight concerns that have held me in physical & emotional bondage for too many years of my life. While the weight struggle is far from gone post-diagnosis, I now have an answer to the “why!?” and that answer is such a gift to me.

I have come to the conclusion that ignorance is NOT bliss.

The ignorance of not knowing I had PCOS all these years has been hard not only for me, but for my family & friends too. They have watched me beat myself up emotionally every single day over the last 15 years wondering “what is wrong with me!?” (I don’t have the typical PCOS symptoms so I believe that is why it went undiagnosed all these years.) Though I would never ever choose PCOS (it totally SUCKS– can I get an amen soul cysters!?), I am grateful for the answer I have going forward and what it means for our family and for my health. I am finally free to be the best version of me and that will greatly impact the type of wife, mom, daughter, sister & friend that I can be to my loved ones. This unwanted diagnosis may have saved my life and certainly saved my heart from being broken any longer. I am living today with a grateful heart and a clear vision of my purpose… to bring Glory to God in everything He has called me to do.

Two birthdays ago, I began a new tradition of meditating on a key Bible verse for the entire year. I wanted the verse to correlate with the age I was turning. When I turned 33, I selected Matthew 6:33 as my year verse.

When I turned 34, I selected Psalm 34 because I couldn’t choose just 1 verse from this entire passage of His promises. Meditating on these powerful Words from God these past 2 years has been such a blessing to me. To quote the title of Chelsea’s blog, I do believe trials bring joy if we seek God’s kingdom first and praise Him even in the valleys of our broken hearts.

I will end with this prayer that I prayed almost 1 year ago when I was pleading with God to help me fully give this area of my heart to Him. I wanted to start living a life full of His intended purpose for me. I vowed to not let another year of my life be in vain and prayed that I would bring Glory to Him in everything I say and do going forward.

Lord, I’m ready to give birth to PURPOSE for this painful struggle that has held me in bondage and taken away my attention from you. God, help me, guide me, lead me, and speak through me that I may birth something that means something. That I will be obedient and I will submit to you so that I may bear fruit. Lord, help me be disciplined and open to the calling which you have given me. I pray that the right people will come along side of me to encourage me as I go through this journey and Lord, I ask that I will be a person that mutually encourages them to fulfill the purpose you have for their lives also. God — You are STRONG. You are MIGHTY. You have OVERCOME the oppressor. I have no fear for YOU are with me and holding my hand as I give birth to Your purpose for me. Amen. (March 7, 2014)

What a humbling experience these last couple of years have been. I want to explain that my prayers to lose weight all these years have never been in vain but rather that I would come to peace to accept my body just the way God made me. I believe that accepting my PCOS diagnosis and infertility struggle is all a part of this journey to acceptance. I’m not “broken”… I am fearfully and wonderfully made for a clear PURPOSE destined by God. How comforting it is to know that He is the one guiding us in each and every step and that He has never failed us. We feel led to go forward with our first IUI in just a few weeks. Prayers are appreciated as we continue on our journey! :)

send ’em over.

January 20, 2015January 21, 20159 Comments

I frequently get emails with some awesome questions from readers – everything from “what books to do you recommend?” to “what words do you have for someone going through a miscarriage?” The questions are all SO good and I love interacting with each of you as you pepper me with some thoughtful questions. They cause me to pause and think and that’s a good thing!

My inbox has been especially filled lately (I LOVE IT!) and it has inspired me with an idea for a series of posts – a Question and Answer series! That’s right, all those questions you have been emailing me over the last few years, send them my way via comment or email and I will work my way through them. Don’t make them all serious – send me over some fun, random ones too! :) I can’t wait to address some of the most common questions to specifics about our journey. Faith, treatment, personal life – nothing is off limits!

My email is listed here, you can write it below, or comment on an Instagram post. If you would like your blog tagged back and your name identified, just leave it in the comments (From NAME at XXXX) and I will credit your question to you. However, if you want to be anonymous, that is completely fine as well, just let me know. (First names only will be used.) The question window is open till the end of the month so send them over. I’m really looking forward to this!

Oh and due to a crazy week, Friday Favorites may not be posted until Saturday … just pretend like it’s Friday when you read them. Hehe!

I’ll leave you today with a great message I read a few weeks ago that has been stewing in my brain: “The mention of a journey implies an arrival. If God guides us, however we may dislike it, it means there is a goal to our journey. Because it is God’s will for us to reach that goal, we can be certain we will reach it. We start and stop and change our minds. People disappoint us; we disappoint ourselves and may give up. Not God! He always finishes what He begins.” Rest in the fact that regardless of our outcome, there is an end to this journey and a destination. Chances are it may be nothing like we imagine or plan it to be, but it’s there and it’s going to be glorious. Have a great rest of the week friends!

friday favorites – january 9th.

January 9, 2015January 9, 20158 Comments

Happy Friday! Why not, let’s jump right in!

Favorite Moment: Monday was kind of a tough day for me (see here: outcomes) but Monday night completely redeemed the day. Yes, the new season of the Bachelor started. Now before you get all judgy on me, hang on. One of the reason I love it (besides the cringing drama), is that I gather with my girlfriends and we spend hours eating, laughing, and making assumptions based on hair styles and limo debuts, all while snuggled up on my couch. The best. Thanks Jana, Julie, Anna, Monica and Danielle for being the bright spot in my day and for guffawing with me while taking tedious notes about which girl is who. I love you girls.

Favorite Read the Bible Challenge: How many of you think “ah, I am totally going to read the Bible this year” and then slip off path and get so far behind you ignore the goal completely. Well, you’re not alone! But this year, She Reads Truth loaded a #365day plan in their Android/IPhone app which allows you an easy way to digitally pull up the days reading, scroll through and read it (perhaps instead of looking at facebook or instagram – time management skills learned too!) and then mark it off as complete. If you want to ask questions to the community reading it together, an extra swipe of your finger to the right brings you to discussion boards. It isn’t dated so if you fall a day or two behind, just jump in where you left off. I love it! So download the SheReadsTruth app today (free!) and select the Bible in a Year plan. (There are many great other plans too if you are looking for a new devotional.) Or download the daily assignment list to print off and stick in your Bible if you are a hard-copy reader. Enjoy!

Download the PDF Printable Plan Here

Favorite Book: My sister-in-law finished reading this book and the next thing I knew, it was sitting in my mailbox waiting for me to read. Ladies, if you want a great read, order this book today! What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty is a funny, heartfelt book with an infertility secondary storyline. I must warn you, it will be like reading the inside of your head at times and it can be a little overwhelming (I had to set it down a few times, but in a good, therapeutic way if that makes sense), but it completely redeems itself. Even if you never struggled but like to read, go buy it. It isn’t obnoxious, quite the opposite and I think you’ll enjoy it! Yes, there are a few swear words, but only a few. I loved this book. (Thanks for letting me borrow it Monica!)

Favorite Makeover: Our little ragamuffin furbaby Cali got groomed last weekend. She can finally see again and I think she’s carrying herself with a little bit of extra sass because of it.

Favorite Accomplishment: You know that to-do task that sits on your list for days at a time because you don’t want to do all the work it involves? Well, I got TWO of those tasks done this last week. (Thank you New Years umph!) Josh and I tackled a closet we have wanted to organize for, um, 2ish years, and I finally got my passport sent off to be renewed. I don’t know why it felt like such a project (go get a picture, wait for it to print, make an appointment and go to the passport office, fill out the paperwork, go to the post office ..) but it took about 30 minutes and I am so glad it’s just done. Check, check, and check!

Favorite Memory: Josh and I went to the NHL game last night with my parents, which was SO fun. Chicago Blackhawks (parents) vs. Minnesota Wild (us). I love the light hearted family tension these games create! Sadly, the Wild couldn’t pull out a win but it was fun to see my parents so happy at the Blackhawks victory. It was a great game – a lot of shots attempted (over 60) and good people sitting around us. Two highlights – one, when we looked up at the big screen during a break, we saw a picture of my mom and I flashing up there that must have been taken from Instagram. It’s always fun to see yourself on the big screen. Sadly we have no proof because we were too busy screaming and pointing. Hey, living in the moment, right? Secondly – Josh loves getting popcorn at hockey games. He’s borderline obsessed as he talks about the popcorn days before the game. So he gets his popcorn and I took out a hotdog sized basket of it for me, but of course I got bumped and spilt the whole basket of popcorn all over the guy in front of me. The only thing is, the guy has no clue he has 241 popcorn kernels sitting on his back between him and the chair. So as I begin to panickily remove kernels and apologize (to which he is not hearing me), my mom keeps taking pictures and is laughing hysterically. The row behind her got involved with “I won’t tell him!!!” cries and offers to take better angled pictures of this fiasco. (To which my mother easily accepted and her phone now contains way too much evidence of this incident.) We were all hysterical and when the poor man moved, he got a better realization of the popcorn all over him (and now in his pants). He was such a good sport about it and we got him brushed off with no damage done, but had quite the laugh at my clumpsy popcorn act.

Favorite Thing I am Looking Forward To: Watching the Parenthood episode from last night. It’s sitting on my DVR box and I am typing furiously so that I can go watch it. People, if you aren’t watching Parenthood, you are missing out. Big time.

Favorite Funnies: And now, the moment you have all been waiting for … the funnies!! Enjoy!

Alright friends, until next time …. have a wonderful weekend!

Have you had a chance to click and read my post over at Fertility Authority yet? If not, click here and visit today! Thanks!

keep dreaming.

January 7, 20153 Comments

Hi friends! First of all, thank you all for the support on my first blog post written on Fertility Authority last month! You guys poured out the love (and clicks) and I am SO appreciative. Just think, with every click you made over the last 30 days, you were able to take part in raising money towards our IUI cycles. Now that is pretty cool, right!? I think of you all as I swallow those pills and look lovingly at that trigger shot, hehe!

Well, the time has come for my next post! Same as before, would you guys be just as supportive and head over there to click and read? It’s all about keeping the dreams we have alive despite disappointments. I would LOVE to continue to show them the amazing team I have behind me!

Okay, to read (and support) click this link: CLICK ME! CLICK ME! CLICK ME!

Or here’s the link for copying purposes: http://www.fertilityauthority.com/blog/chelsea-ritchie/2015/1/07/keep-dreaming

As always, feel free to share in any and all ways possible. :) I hope that someone is blessed and encouraged by these words. While I love the self therapy of writing, I am also so grateful for the ability for God to speak to others through our experiences. To Him be the glory!

See you back on Friday for the first real edition of Friday Favorites 2015! Whoooo hoooooo!

Did you miss my last blog post on Fertility Authority? No worries! Click here to read!

outcomes.

January 5, 2015January 5, 201534 Comments

10898191_10100528008883399_2338367175058994161_n

“Your faith isn’t in the outcome you want, but is in the faithfulness of God.” -Pastor Craig Groeschel-

Outcomes aren’t always what we hope them to be are they? I heard the above quote this morning on a podcast and it reminds me that disappointing outcomes doesn’t mean that God isn’t faithful. Today our outcome wasn’t what we hoped. I read a paragraph in a book that said this – and it explains my reaction so perfectly. It said “…So now I just assume it won’t work and that if it does work, I’ll lose it anyway. This is meant to protect me, although it doesn’t, because somehow the hope sneakily finds its way in. I’m never aware of the hope until it’s gone, whooshed away like a rug pulled from under my feet, each time I hear another ‘I’m sorry.'”

Whoosh.

I try to stay guarded, finding that delicate balance of Hope and practicality. Perhaps I am jinxing myself, doubting when I am supposed to be trusting. I’d like to believe God doesn’t work like that though. He knows the delicate fears of my heart, the terror of getting my hopes up. If I am being really honest, the deepest, smallest, most intimate part of my brain isn’t scared that He can’t do this (I am certain that He can), but it’s that He won’t.

Whenever those words of fear start to build “what if He won’t, what if He won’t, what if He won’t….”, running like a train going full speed in my brain, I have to stop. Sometimes screaming at my brain – STOP! The words screeching like the brakes on a metal track. Because those are the words of the devil, wanting to chip away at the Hope we have in Him, wanting to drain the reminders of His faithfulness, wanting to absorb the trust I have stocked up. Again, if I am being honest, I was more prepared for this outcome than if it were a positive result. My body and brain move on auto-pilot now. Negative. Bleeding. Cramps. Ouch. Ultrasound. Pills. Lather, rinse, repeat.

So today I am thankful for ibuprofen, a (brief) reunion with americanos, heating packs, and the loving encouragement and hope-filled words of friends still rooting for us. A new cycle of letrozole starts tomorrow. Let’s do this again. I’ve got it in me. The fight is still there, the desire is still there and more importantly, the calling is still there. So we keep marching. And waiting. 1 Samuel 14:6 “…Perhaps the Lord will act in our behalf. Nothing can hinder the Lord…” Lord, we are asking you, again, to act on our behalf. Chance are You are doing just that and we can’t see it. Help my eyes to see what’s beyond me, not what’s in front of me.

Onwards.

perfect peace.

December 29, 2014December 29, 20148 Comments

Today I am reminded of the need for my continued desire to e*a*r*n*e*s*t*l*y seek God. “Oh God you are my God; earnestly I seek you, my soul thirsts for you…” (Ps. 63:1) I often find myself seeking Him, not because I am thirsting for Him, but because it’s part of my routine, on my to-do list, or even worse, I need something from Him. (Can you imagine if your significant other only connected with you when they needed something? Ouch.) And then Isaiah 26:3 reminds me “You will keep in P-E-R-F-E-C-T P-E-A-C-E all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You.”

So here’s the formula I have figured out:

True, earnest desperation for God –> earnestly seeking Him –> trusting in Him and His character –> perfect peace –> continued desperation and longing for God.

The longing for Him can’t come out of needing something or be rushed because it’s “on the list”, it has to be genuine. And in order to build that genuine adoration, we have to take the intentional time to get to know Him. It takes authentic energy. What a reminder this is for me today! And what a perfect example of why seeking Him and staying grounded in Him for no reason other than I thirst for Him is so important. Side benefit: perfect peace.

My relationship with God, like any others, can hit nice easy strides. However, just as we have to be intentional to pursue our friendships and make sure that we are taking time for relationships in our life that are so important to us (and expressing that!), so we have to do with our Creator.

We are wrapping up 2014 this week. Whoa. Where has this year gone? In the past, I have had a word of the year – a word that drives my heart and intentions for personal growth. The word for 2014 was “contentment”, based off of Philippians 4, “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.”

How did I do? I would like to say I did good, but of course know there are always ways for significant improvements. I do feel like this verse and the prayerful intentions to find contentment whatever my circumstances has helped me to grow. I wrote in my journal a year ago today “To a year where trust goes ahead of trials and His work is accomplished through us an in us.” My prayer for this year repeats itself, as I pray for trust that goes ahead of anything that comes our way (or doesn’t) and that He would continue to be glorified in it all.

So what’s the 2015 word? I have it – I am praying on it and flushing it out and can’t wait to share it with you soon.

Thanks for all your continued prayers sent as we are midst our 2WW. Tick tock tick tock. We are trying not to think about it and I am ignoring it nearly completely which is actually pretty impressive. Typing this message is the most thought I have given it to it in a while. So when you text and ask how I am feeling and doing, know that my brief “good” isn’t trying to be rude, it’s keeping me from over-analyzing and stressing about something I have no control over. I am thankful for the distractions these holiday seasons give us.

Enjoy these last few days of 2014 – let’s strive forward with an earnest pursuit of Him because He is who He is, not because of what He can do for us. Amen?!

And while I type, Cali sleeps on MY new heated blanket. She thinks this is the best Christmas present her mom has ever gotten! Ha!

If you haven’t already entered the New Years Giveaway, take a minute to do so! You still have a few more days!

new years giveaway.

December 26, 2014December 26, 20149 Comments

Merry Day-After-Christmas! Hope has come and now we sit back and rest in His presence. I imagine today is the day Mary sat thinking about how much her life as changed as Jesus fussed and cried and needed to be fed. I love the fact that in His humanness, He was just as dependent on Mary as a baby as we are now on Him. I often feel disappointment once Christmas is over, but this year, I feel like the magic is sticking around a little longer.

Okay, and now the REALLY fun news! I am SO excited to be teaming up with some incredible friends for an amazing New Years Giveaway! As the New Year approaches, we realized what a blessing it would be to help others on their faith walk and journey with Jesus. I don’t know about you but there is something special about a new year, a new devotional or journal and a cup of coffee that screams productive quiet time! I just know the winners of this giveaway are going to be so blessed! And instead of just having one winner, we thought it would be fun to have THREE, which means you have 3 chances to win some amazing prizes sponsored from the bloggers below! It’s SO easy to earn entries – simply click HERE Rafflecopter giveaway and earn drawing points by getting to know the sponsors better. There’s a free entry as well. It’s super easy – just use your name and email to sign up (so we know who is entering and how to contact you)! We all are praying that God blesses the winners in BIG ways with the goodies below! The contest is open to anyone which means you don’t need to be in any special season of life to enter. We really just want to bless others!

Without further ado, the fabulous prizes will be …

Package One: 1st Winner – $75 Value

Journaling Bible
Blessings for a Woman’s Heart Devotional
Max Lucado Calendar
Jesus Today Book
Scripture Cards

Package Two: 2nd Winner – $45 Value

2 CD’s
Starbucks Gift Card
Notepad
Women’s Devotional

Package Three: 3rd Winner – $25 Value

Itunes Gift Card
Journal
Scarf

In Due Time ♦ The Lady Okie ♦ A Touch of Grace ♦ Trials Bring Joy ♦ Jessi’s Design

Sage the Blog ♦ Run to Radiance ♦ The Artsy Cajun ♦ Viva Good ♦ Amateur Nester

a Rafflecopter giveaway

A big thanks to my friend Caroline for hosting!! I love being able to share some love with my wonderful readers and friends. The contest is open from now until January 2nd (one week!), so don’t delay in entering today. You will be contacted if (when! I’m feeling hopeful for my readers!) you win and your package will be sent out no later than January 7th.

Whooo hoooo! Sending you wish dust and lots of love!

XO,

Chelsea

Christmas hope.

December 24, 2014December 24, 20144 Comments

Today is Christmas Eve! When did it sneak up? I have been sitting here for a while now, looking at my blank computer screen and trying to make sense of the beautiful emotions running through me. The end of the Advent season drawing near and the celebration of His arrival is approaching, Christmas is only a day away! December mixes in the emotions of longing and hoping and then celebrating the completion of our waiting. Jesus came, arriving to this earth as a helpless baby, demonstrating that the hope in Him was not displayed.

Hope. A frail word that creates emotions throughout so many of us. When we are disappointed and sorrows overwhelm us, our hope is dashed, stolen by tears and replaced with discouragement. When what we have hoped for comes true, we become advocates of optimism, losing our cynic routine and spouting happy words.

We’ve talked a lot in this blog about hope, keeping our hope in Him. (See past posts here and here and here and here) One of my favorite verses comes from Hebrews 6, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” Hope defined is “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” I have related this to my infertility journey often times – expecting our prayers to be answered and hoping in Him for that. However this Christmas season, I am reminded that this word goes far beyond my wish list, it is much more than that.

Hope is believing and being certain that He has come and that He will come again. Hope is expecting His faithfulness to endure time, that His Word is true and that as a result, we don’t have to worry. HE is the anchor for our soul. His arrival to earth all those years ago secured our future, regardless of what that looks like. His arrival overrides all feelings of “God has forgotten about us” or “God doesn’t care about me.” His birth restores the Hope that we have in His Word and contains the answer to our future – the Hope that His word will prevail and that He will come again. Because of the miracle of Jesus’ virgin birth, our hope will never need to waver because He wins. In the end, He wins. So no matter what we go through, what we face, what trials or sorrows come our way, once you become a child of His, we can rest fully assured that our Hope in Him is never displaced.

As you walk into Christmas, pause and reflect about the JOY in this season. I know sometimes when we have struggles, the focus of those sorrows can displace the joy of the season. But Christmas is more than a season; it is celebrating something far more eternal than an empty home, empty arms, a worried heart. It’s celebrating His faithfulness to fulfill what He has promised. Christmas can carry with it emotional landmines for those struggling with infertility – questions asked, parties attended, children and families everywhere. There is a fine line of acknowledging your real emotions of sorrow and pain and not letting it override the beauty of Christmas. I pray today that each of you, in the heartache of today, can remember that this suffering will not last forever. That He has been born in the city of David, and came to save us because of His love for us. Keep the faith my friends. Grieve as needed but not as those without Hope. Because He came, He conquered and He will come again. Because He hears your prayers, sits with you as you cry, collects your tears, and loves you so much.

If you ever are in a place where you want to know more about what it looks like to take a step forward towards Him, begin a relationship with Him, invest back in this love He has for you, I am just an email away. Nothing would bring me more joy than to talk with you about what it is that He offers to us that allows me to rest confidently in Him.

This Christmas I get to celebrate as a PUPO. (Pregnant until proven otherwise). Our IUI was on Monday and went well. We had a small catheter/uterus collision which caused some pain and cramping and I know that I am not alone in having that have happened before. To those who have experienced that before, a collective ‘ouch’ on three would be great, 1 … 2…. 3…. OUCH! Thankfully Josh was there and I could squeeze his hand, hard. Otherwise I was able to go home and rest the remainder of the day and now am returning to life as planned. 2 week waits can be hard, but the great thing about this one is that the holidays are throughout them and I will be distracted enough. I feel like 2 week waits get easier the more times you go through them but ask me again in a week!

This Christmas we celebrate the HOPE we have. Not the hope we have in a possible pregnancy, although we do celebrate that too. No, we celebrate the Hope we have in eternal life because of what transpired on Christmas many years ago.

Merry Christmas my friends!

Want some more Christmas posts? Check out my notes to Santa in the past – 2012 and 2013 – and also my Christmas posts here and here. They are among my favorites!